Wrestlemania XXX

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania XXX

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that are so popular that even Triple H is willing to put them over, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we come together once again to cover the crowning moment of the wrestling year, WWE Wrestlemania XXX! Boy, what a year it has been since the last time we did one of these, huh? A new top star has risen from seemingly nowhere to take the wrestling world by storm, the corporation has reformed just in time to fight him and a whole new generation of superstars has grown up right in front of our eyes, from the Shield to Bray Wyatt and beyond. And into this whirlwind of change and renewal steps the gallant warriors of Cewsh Reviews, to lend our thoughts, opinions, freak outs, and assorted neuroses to the story of legend of Wrestlemania. And hoo boy, do we ever have some crazy shit to talk about. With all that in mind, let us roll out the red carpet for you as we assemble once more to tackle one of the most talked about events in wrestling history.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog that has as many Royal Rumble eliminations as all the other wrestling blogs combined, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we all take a collective deep breath and plunge into a brand new wrestling year with WWE's Royal Rumble 2014. Now you and I both know that, while I can talk about New Japan's Wrestle Kingdom until I'm blue in the fingers, this is where we kick off the festivities for the most important time in the wrestling industry every year. The Royal Rumble. The Road to Wrestlemania. The very idea of it drags casual wrestling fans back to their televisions and sets message boards on fire with new users, and it's hardly any surprise, as things are already started to heat right the hell up. Hell, this show only has four matches on it, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD MAIN EVENT A PPV EASILY. The culmination of the dramatic Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt feud, a new chapter in the storied Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show rivalry, and a clash between two of the biggest names of this era for the unified WWE championship, and all of that is just the warm up for the most anticipated match of the year itself, the Rumbly, Rumbly, Rumble. But what am I ding sitting here trying to sell it to you? We've all seen it, and boy howdy if people don't ever have some strong opinions about it. Now it's time to add outs onto the heap.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Summerslam 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that prefer Winterslam, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as World Wrestling Entertainment jetsets over to the City of Angels for the latest in their yearly exercise in spectacle, WWE Summerslam 2013. Now you may have heard this in one of two places coming into this show, but there's actually this pretty important match going on tonight that has been built up across every WWE television show, and with the full strength of the WWE promotional vehicle behind it. That match is obviously Natalya vs. Brie Bella, but there are probably some other matches on this card too. Let's take a look. Wait, Bray Wyatt in a RING OF FIRE MATCH?! Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena?! CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar?! Alright, which one of you turned on the dream booking machine? Because we owe you a lifetime's worth of high fives for this card, which is easily one of the most exciting in recent memory. Will the torch be passed to Daniel Bryan? Will the Best beat the Beast? And will Big E Langston actually win a match and stop making me sad? Join me, and my mad scientist compatriots Artie and Michael, as we learn all this and more.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviews that will hide under the ring until all the other reviews are eliminated, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we have finally reached what many people consider to be the funnest and most interesting wrestling event of the year, the Royal Rumble. And this one is shaping up to be a doozy, which 30 men ready to enter and seemingly 10 odds on favorites to win. Will the monster Ryback destroy everything in his first Rumble match? Will John Cena erase the stink of 2012 with some redemption? Will Heath Slater make it all the way to the ring before someone beats him up? All great questions. And, for once, the Rumble isn't the only place for rampant speculation and interest. Because we will also see the match up that would have blown 2003 Cewsh's mind out of his ears, CM Punk vs. The Rock. Will Punk rise to the challenge and hold off the greatest threat to his title in his entire 400+ day reign? Or will The Rock find his inner champion one more time and show that he's still as good as it gets? How many more questions can I pack into this intro? I don't know?!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE TLC 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE TLC 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the reviews that steal the show AND sell it on the black market, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we return to the industry leader in wrestling entertainment for their 2012 close out spectacular, WWE Tables, Ladders and Chairs 2012. The December pay per view has always had a peculiar place in the WWE hierarchy, as it not only ends the calender year, but is the proverbial last stop before we begin WWE's premier attraction, the Road to Wrestlemania. Since new things are about to begin, TLC is about shuffling the necessary pieces into position for the big pushes to come, and about blowing off 2012 feuds that won't be continuing on into 2013. Of course, it's also about seeing people climb ladders, get hit with chairs and fall through tables, sometimes in that exact order. So with a show that is surprisingly stocked with meaningful matches, and on a night where multiple young stars get a chance to truly make a name for themselves, (more on that later,) we have ourselves what may be the most interesting show since Extreme Rules. But with the scourge of TNA's Bound For Glory fresh in the memory, the question must be asked. Can WWE actually capitalize on this opportunity, or will they blow it all to hell in a blaze of whatever the opposite of glory is? As always, there's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Survivor Series 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Survivor Series 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that taste better the next day, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you to tonight, as we tackle one the oldest and most venerable active shows in existence with WWE Survivor Series 2012. Despite this pay per view having some rough times in the past few years, it has sort of become the show that gives you the first hints of what you're likely to see come Wrestlemania season. WWE is starting to move the right pieces into place for the biggest push of their lives, and if we can take the build to this show to be representative of that, then Wrestlemania will be renamed RYBACKAMANIA any day now. And it is here that Ryback will get his second chance at the greatest prize in wrestling, as he goes head to head with the two biggest stars in WWE in a triple threat match that could well have era spanning ramifications. Add on to that some good ol' fashioned elimination matches and literally the biggest test of Sheamus' career, and we may just have ourselves a show.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Night of Champions 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviews that bring home the bacon and have terrible cholesterol, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we cover a show that's so goddamn gold that Indiana Jones will be questing for it 20 years from now, WWE Night of Champions 2012. Now then, we all know that the summer months have been more than a bit dreary and dull, but as we roll into fall, things are going to start to get interesting and it starts at the top. After all, a newly heel turned, (and Paul Heyman managed,) CM Punk is running roughshod across the main event these days, and now his arch rival John Cena has stepped up to the plate for one more epic match. If Punk beats Cena, he finally gets the respect he deserves, and if Cena beats Punk he finally redeems the least successful year of his career since he started rapping. But there's more on the line here than just those two jokers. We've got Irishmen fighting Mexicans, we've got spirited attempts to pretend that the lesser divisions matter, and, perhaps most importantly, we have a performance that absolutely stole the show. Who gave it? Well, as always, there's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Monday Night Raw #1,000

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Monday Night Raw

1,000th Episode

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the blog that is always incisive and ever divisive, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have gathered today to review an episode of Monday Night Raw for only the third time in Cewsh Reviews history. But why tonight, you ask? Because it's the 1,000th time the show has come on, and 1,000 is, like, a really big number and stuff. But tonight isn't just about reaching a symmetrical number in the history of WWE programming. It's also being branded as a new beginning for WWE and a night to enjoy the twin spectacles of nostalgia and whatever you would call nostalgia for things that will happen in the future. Possibly Futalgia, though that sounds like a kind of Athlete's Foot.  Joining me on this journey through time, is our very own Professor of Wrestling History and full time Doctor Who enthusiast MichaelC, and our special guest making his return to Cewsh Reviews, Psycho! So you can tell for tonight's special review, we'll be doing it up proper, and although you can't tell, we're all wearing tuxedos and pretty dresses and are gesturing wildly with out top hats and monocles for the show to get on with it already.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Royal Rumble 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only wrestling blog that gives you Rumbles while making you wait for the Rumble, Cewsh Reviews!  We have a special treat for you tonight as we take the first solid step towards Wrestlemania with WWE Royal Rumble 2012.  Now for us at Cewsh Reviews, the Royal Rumble is a special time of year.  Parties are had, wagers are struck and along with hundreds of thousands of others we hunker down in front of our tvs to be sucked in by the kickoff to the Road to Wrestlemania and what is possibly the biggest single match of the wrestling year.  And if you like unpredictability, boy is this year right down your alley, because there is no certain winner or even any real favorite for the first time in recent memory as numerous guys bucking for that top spot arrive here ready to take the spotlight.  So for a match, and an event, of this magnitude, we roped in a ragged band of outlaws to review with us this year, including our always crotchety historian of these dusty trails, Maverick MichaelC, our former Raw reviewer who is so bad his name includes his body count, Killer Kyle_242 and the man so crazy they just call him Psycho.  We're here to russell up some varmints and maybe even review some wrestling matches along the way.  So kick back, tip your saloon waitress and enjoy the show.  Its Rumble season, baby!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

25 Years Of Overlooked Rumble Performances

MichaelC:  Who loves Royal Rumbles? Yep, everybody. So many legendary performances over the years. Austin in the 90s, Flair 92, DiBiase 90, Punk 2010, Diesel 94. All brilliant. But also well remembered by most fans, so we’re not looking at them.

What I’m interested in here are the great Rumble performances that get overlooked. So, in honour of the “25th anniversary” of the Rumble match, let’s go looking for Rumble performances you ought to love... if only you’d remember them. (Except in 1989, where, on trying on find a forgotten gem of a performance between Ron Bass and Nikolai Volkoff, I gave up and read some R.L. Stine instead).

Less Scary Than Watching Ron Bass Wrestle.

Some might be obvious. Some might be left field. Others still might need reappraising. All of them are awesome.

To Be Continued »

WWE Money in the Bank 2011

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Money in the Bank 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the review blog that learned everything they know about wrestling from 2XL, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, and for once we mean it, as we find ourselves smack dab in the middle of the most intriguing wrestling storyline in recent memory. CM Punk has held the imagination of the collective internet wrestling community hostage for the past month after his incredible promo on Raw where he buried the company and threatened to take the title and leave simply because he can. Weeks of hype and confusion followed and here and now we’ll find out what happens when this all comes to a head in Punk’s hometown of Chicago, on his very last night as a WWE employee, here at WWE Money in the Bank 2011. Will Punk truly be able to beat John Cena and take the WWE title hostage? Will this just be another “Cena pulls out the improbable win” sort of occasion? What the hell will the Money in the Bank winners do? Only one way to find out, boys and girls.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

THE CRIHAOCSMUTDC2: EB

Cewsh Reviews and I Have An Opinion Proudly Present…

The Cewsh Reviews/I Have An Opinion Crossover Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Card 2: Electric Boogaloo

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the sexiest thing on four legs, Cewsh Reviews! We have an ESPECIALLY special treat for you tonight, no doubt about it, as tonight we finally review the show over a month in the making. See, about a year ago we decided that we should do something to satiate the people who were asking us to review individual matches and not full shows, while at the same time sticking to our guns about only reviewing full shows. The result was the Cewsh Reviews Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Card which was supplied by having all of our fans suggest matches and them selecting them at random, lottery style, out of an Optimus Prime Mr. Potato Head. Which is exactly as awesome as it sounds. It turned out to me a great success, and now it has become a tradition here for us to let you guys in on the party from time to time. Which brings us here to the sequel which we’re doing in conjunction with the video review by our buddy Deewun at his blog, I Have An Opinion. Just like the first time, our fans suggested the matches and we compiled them into an actual Dream Card show of the best, worst and strangest wrestling has to offer. The last one nearly broke us with its batshittery. I’m afraid. Please hold me.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Wrestlemania XXVII

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Wrestlemania XXVII

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviewers that bring in the viewers, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as the culmination of the wrestling year (or the part of it your grandma may have actually heard of anyway) is nigh, and it is finally time for WWE Wrestlemania XXVII! Now the sheer media blitz of Wrestlemania (and our preview special if you’re a good little Cewshketeer) has probably made it abundantly clear what is on this show, so I’m not going to waste any more time hyping it for you. All I’ll say is that excitement is high among the CR Clan going in and we have champagne wishes and caviar dreams about how things may go. Will this Wrestlemania top last year’s above average show? What the fuck will the Rock actually be doing here? And for fuck’s sake, will anyone actually get made a star on the greatest stage of them all? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2011

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Royal Rumble 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the reviews so royal that they rumble, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat in store for you tonight as we kick of the exciting Road to Wrestlemania tonight with one of the most anticipated and prestigious shows of the year, WWE Royal Rumble 2011. Now if you’ve been reading Cewsh Reviews for any length of time ( and really, why would any other option be acceptable?) you know that we are huuuuuuge fans of the Royal Rumble, dating back to when we were little Cewshs. As a result, every year when this beloved event rolls around we roll out the red carpet in kind and give this bad boy the love and attention it deserves. We have a guest reviewer covering this year’s installment of what is possibly the biggest single match in the wrestling year, and he is that incorrigible Royal Rumble historian himself, Michael C. He is the Howard Finkel of our reviews, and with him dropping knowledge on you, dear readers, you wont miss a thing.

Any words, Michael?

MichaelC: Wow, I’m back in a Cewsh Review. I’d like to thank all my fans who cheered for my return. I don’t know how I’d have done it without [strike]me[/strike] you.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWF Royal Rumble 2001

Cewsh: This is the end result of a contest we ran on Rajah.com to determine which Royal Rumble we would review based on reader votes. I think this one won by about 40% of the vote. Apparently there are a lot of Honky Tonk Man fans out there.

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The World Wrestling Federation Proudly Presents...

WWF Royal Rumble 2001

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the court jesters to the rumble royals, Cewsh Reviews!  We have a special treat for you tonight, as we review the Royal Rumble!  Ah, ah, ah, not so fast.  Not THIS year's Royal Rumble.  That comes later this week.  No no, tonight we go back in time and review what some consider to be the very greatest Royal Rumble ever held, WWF Royal Rumble 2001.  Consider this a warm up for our review of the whole shebang itself, and to make sure we're up to tip top Rumble reviewing shape, i've summoned the Rumble monster from his tomb early and will be unleashing MichaelC on the unsuspecting populace in a continuation of what we are now calling The Royal Week of Rumbles.

Now then, let's focus in on one of the most beloved shows in WWE history.  We have all the Attitude Era greats at their peak here as they catapult down the road to Wrestlemania 17.  Steve Austin is a desperate man, the Undertaker and Kane have united to lay waste to the world and the Rock is out to prove he's the top man in WWE.  Along the way there will be bowling balls, an unexpected Hall of Fame entrant and a whole lot more.  So what the hell, free the chains on MonsterC and let's get this rampage started.

So without any further ado, and on behalf of our awesome reader Don, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWF In Your House: Breakdown 1998

The World Wrestling Federation Proudly Presents...

WWF In Your House

Breakdown 1998

MichaelC: So, a long, long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, an event even more shocking than Disney buying Star Wars occurred. That's right. Cewsh challenged me to a bet over the Royal Rumble result (Cewsh Note: He picked Sheamus, Barrett or McIntyre, I picked everyone else on the entire roster. It seemed like a solid bet at the time.) And failed miserably. As a result of my victory, I got to cash in a Review on any subject over the course of the next 12 months. It could be on anything. Kennel from Hell! Bread Eating Matches! Something TNA related! The possibilities were endless. Hell, I could have even gotten him to review the whole 10 hour Youtube version of "They're taking the hobbits to Isengard". (This actually exists!)

I'm Not Going To Tell You What To Do, But Seriously, Click At Your Own Risk.

To Be Continued »