WWE Wrestlemania 31

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania 31

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that think that Wrestlemania is insensitive to maniacs and should be changed to Wrestlefunforthewholefamily, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we roll out that proverbial red carpet, put on our finest evening wear, (tuxedo t shirt worn over a velvet bathrobe,) and get ready to review the most prestigious wrestling event in all the world, WWE Wrestlemania! Now, it's been a long road to the show of shows this year, with about as much controversy leading up to it as I can ever remember seeing before. From Daniel Bryan's terrible injury, shocking return, and subsequent lack of push, to the phoenix like rise of Roman Reigns against the will of many fans, to a Wrestlemania headliner who barely appears on more WWE shows than I do.

It's been a tumultuous Road to Wrestlemania, made even stranger by a build that even Vince McMahon acknowledged was thrown together at the last minute compared to shows in the past. So just what kind of show can we really expect from all this chaos? I don't have the slightest idea, but what I can tell you is that I will not be alone in this review. Now you may be expecting our regular contributors like Artie, Psycho, MichaelC, maybe even the returns of Cewsh Reviews Hall of Famers Vice and Mrs. Cewsh. Those would all be great, but we're going much bigger this year. Oh yes, you see, we listen to our fans. We've seen all your requests for your favorite guest reviewers and we tabulated it up. And so tonight, we're bringing back the three most requested guest reviewers and Cewsh Reviews history!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX

New Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that have no interest in a hoverboard because wheels work just fine, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we are finally able to get our hands on the show that we have been building to for lo these many months. I've talked about it on the Cewshcast, I've written about it all over social media and on all kinds of different sites, and our previews leading up to the show were juuuuuuust shy of being insufferably overbearing. All of that hype, anticipation and excitement has led up to one of the most important wrestling shows of the century, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX! Tonight we will see the culmination on an incredible feud, a compilation of talent unmatched in any promotion since the dawn of time, and also Jeff Jarrett! You'll see death defying dives, intense slugfests, and i'm going to use the phrase "dropping bombs on each other" so often that i'm going to go on watchlists all over the world. But most importantly, we're going to take a walk through Wrestle Kingdom together, as American audiences and Japanese ones join as one for the first time to ask together just what kind of adamantium skeleton does Tomohiro Ishii have anyway?

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

Wrestlemania XXX

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania XXX

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that are so popular that even Triple H is willing to put them over, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we come together once again to cover the crowning moment of the wrestling year, WWE Wrestlemania XXX! Boy, what a year it has been since the last time we did one of these, huh? A new top star has risen from seemingly nowhere to take the wrestling world by storm, the corporation has reformed just in time to fight him and a whole new generation of superstars has grown up right in front of our eyes, from the Shield to Bray Wyatt and beyond. And into this whirlwind of change and renewal steps the gallant warriors of Cewsh Reviews, to lend our thoughts, opinions, freak outs, and assorted neuroses to the story of legend of Wrestlemania. And hoo boy, do we ever have some crazy shit to talk about. With all that in mind, let us roll out the red carpet for you as we assemble once more to tackle one of the most talked about events in wrestling history.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviews that will hide under the ring until all the other reviews are eliminated, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we have finally reached what many people consider to be the funnest and most interesting wrestling event of the year, the Royal Rumble. And this one is shaping up to be a doozy, which 30 men ready to enter and seemingly 10 odds on favorites to win. Will the monster Ryback destroy everything in his first Rumble match? Will John Cena erase the stink of 2012 with some redemption? Will Heath Slater make it all the way to the ring before someone beats him up? All great questions. And, for once, the Rumble isn't the only place for rampant speculation and interest. Because we will also see the match up that would have blown 2003 Cewsh's mind out of his ears, CM Punk vs. The Rock. Will Punk rise to the challenge and hold off the greatest threat to his title in his entire 400+ day reign? Or will The Rock find his inner champion one more time and show that he's still as good as it gets? How many more questions can I pack into this intro? I don't know?!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Destination X 2011

Impact Wrestling Proudly Presents…

TNA Destination X 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of future one hit wonder Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we seek out TNA’s Destination X 2011, where assumedly the treasure is buried. Now we’re deep into summer now, boys and girls, so this is the downiest down time on the wrestling calendar. Wrestlemania is far, far off, and consequently most American wrestling is subdued, waiting for Wrestling Season to come back again, bringing with it the interest of the majority of wrestling fans. As such, summer is the time for experimental booking, and new things to begin, and nowhere is this truer than here tonight, as TNA devotes an entire pay per view broadcast to a division they could barely be bothered to dedicate 8 minutes of television time to 6 months ago, as we get ourselves an all X Division PPV. Will the X Division guys step up and make the effort worthwhile? Will the experiment fail horribly and kill off the division once and for all? At what moment, exactly, did Vice mark out like an 80s child for a Cabbage Patch doll? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE No Way Out 2009

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE NO WAY OUT 2009

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to another stirring edition of Cewsh Reviews… Tonight we have a rare treat for you all, in that we’re actually being treated to a show that we actually want to watch, and review. Its too early, here at the beginning to call this show the Most Welcome and Amazing Fucking Show of All Time, but the sheer fact that Rhino is not in the main event is going a long way to propelling it to those ever so sought after heights.

To anyone who might actually be new to this little rodeo we call Cewsh Reviews…, we keep things spoiler free whenever possible, and that includes not reading spoilers or news of the shows or product before they happen. We only know what we see on television, or, in the case of most WWE shows, what I see on television and relate to Vice later through a steady filter of giddy excitement.

With all of that so eloquently said, let’s get on with the show.

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2002

Cewsh: This show is really, really fucking good. Seriously, that's what you need to take away from this. We were just trying to get out of its way.

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World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Summerslam 2002

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only review team with a functioning time machine, Cewsh Reviews. We have a special treat for you this week, as we’ve taken the aforementioned time machine, and let the denizens of our favorite wrestling discussion forum, Rajah.com, choose the destination. Earlier this year they voted on the Best Show of the Decade, and the winner wound up being Wrestlemania XVII. Since we were already totally saving that for another time, we instead took at look at the runner up, and were surprised to find that it was one of the first shows that Vice and I ever watched together. Inspired by this mixture of nostalgia and selfishness, we chose that show, which turned out to be WWE Summerslam 2002.

Now aside from Vice and I having seen it when we were adorable little marky marks, this show has a lot to recommend it. Not only does it have one of the most stacked sounding undercards in wrestling history, but it also features the in ring return of Shawn Michaels against his former best friend turned enemy Triple H, and the rise of a young man named Brock Lesnar to prominence, as he faces the Rock for his first chance at WWE Heavyweight gold. It’s a big fucking show, that sounds even bigger, and with the nostalgia train going full throttle, it ought to be damn fun to stand on the tracks. Unless you don’t like that sort of thing. In which case you can stand aside and wait for the lame, nancyboy train, which should be arriving at eleven.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »