WWE Wrestlemania 31

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania 31

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that think that Wrestlemania is insensitive to maniacs and should be changed to Wrestlefunforthewholefamily, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we roll out that proverbial red carpet, put on our finest evening wear, (tuxedo t shirt worn over a velvet bathrobe,) and get ready to review the most prestigious wrestling event in all the world, WWE Wrestlemania! Now, it's been a long road to the show of shows this year, with about as much controversy leading up to it as I can ever remember seeing before. From Daniel Bryan's terrible injury, shocking return, and subsequent lack of push, to the phoenix like rise of Roman Reigns against the will of many fans, to a Wrestlemania headliner who barely appears on more WWE shows than I do.

It's been a tumultuous Road to Wrestlemania, made even stranger by a build that even Vince McMahon acknowledged was thrown together at the last minute compared to shows in the past. So just what kind of show can we really expect from all this chaos? I don't have the slightest idea, but what I can tell you is that I will not be alone in this review. Now you may be expecting our regular contributors like Artie, Psycho, MichaelC, maybe even the returns of Cewsh Reviews Hall of Famers Vice and Mrs. Cewsh. Those would all be great, but we're going much bigger this year. Oh yes, you see, we listen to our fans. We've seen all your requests for your favorite guest reviewers and we tabulated it up. And so tonight, we're bringing back the three most requested guest reviewers and Cewsh Reviews history!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2015

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Royal Rumble 2015

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog that shows up less often than your dad to your Little League games, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we hop in the car, adjust the rear view mirror, put some fuzzy dice on the dash, and get ready for the road to Wrestlemania. The official beginning of that grand adventure starts right here, with the first WWE PPV of the year, WWE Royal Rumble 2015. With a spot in the main event of Wrestlemania on the line in both the Rumble match itself, and in one of the most looked forward to triple threat matches in recent memory this show is full of intrigue, potential, and even a little dash of hope. Smarks the world over are scooching closer to the screen to watch it clutching their Daniel Bryan action figures and daring to dream that this could be the day. But with the specter of Roman Reigns looming, and a card that focuses unusually on big stars, that hopeful dream seems a mile away. Can Daniel Bryan overcome the odds to become regain his spot atop WWE? Will a new star emerge amid the whirling chaos of the Rumble? Can anyone on Earth actually defeat Brock Lesnar? Join Cewsh, Artie, Psycho and our Royal Rumble professor MichaelC as we explore the only way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents..

WWE SUMMERSLAM 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the the only reviews that tease you more than an out of your league prom date, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we have finally reached the show that the entire tumultuous summer has been building to, WWE Summerslam 2014. We've had rivalries brewing for months, as PPV after PPV has exceeded expectations, both in terms of quality and storyline progression, and now we've come to the blowoff where it all has to count for something. Can Lesnar vs. Cena avoid the curse of the Summerslog and be as good as we hope it can be? Can Ambrose and Rollins live up to the months of hype and expectation? Will the Miz continue to win my heart with his Hollywood heel antics? There's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Payback 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Payback 2014

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that totally promise to pay you back that $20 we owe you, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as WWE takes a big running jump into the season of Summerslog with WWE Payback 2014! We've officially entered what is traditionally the dreariest season of WWE, ladies and gentlemen, as the long march from Wrestlemania to Summerslam stretches ahead. But unlike most years when this time is used for things like R-Truth main event pushes, this time around we have some real interesting irons in the fire. The People's Champion Daniel Bryan is injured and will have to choose between his title and his wife's career, the old guard of Evolution is being stampeded by the most dominant force in recent memory, and John Cena has been stretched to his limits by a mysterious force bent of stealing his fanbase out from under him. All of it is going to come to a head here on a show that would normally be an afterthought, and by the end of the night, the landscape of World Wrestling Entertainment might look very different indeed.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

Wrestlemania XXX

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania XXX

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that are so popular that even Triple H is willing to put them over, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we come together once again to cover the crowning moment of the wrestling year, WWE Wrestlemania XXX! Boy, what a year it has been since the last time we did one of these, huh? A new top star has risen from seemingly nowhere to take the wrestling world by storm, the corporation has reformed just in time to fight him and a whole new generation of superstars has grown up right in front of our eyes, from the Shield to Bray Wyatt and beyond. And into this whirlwind of change and renewal steps the gallant warriors of Cewsh Reviews, to lend our thoughts, opinions, freak outs, and assorted neuroses to the story of legend of Wrestlemania. And hoo boy, do we ever have some crazy shit to talk about. With all that in mind, let us roll out the red carpet for you as we assemble once more to tackle one of the most talked about events in wrestling history.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Elimination Chamber 2014

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To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog that has as many Royal Rumble eliminations as all the other wrestling blogs combined, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we all take a collective deep breath and plunge into a brand new wrestling year with WWE's Royal Rumble 2014. Now you and I both know that, while I can talk about New Japan's Wrestle Kingdom until I'm blue in the fingers, this is where we kick off the festivities for the most important time in the wrestling industry every year. The Royal Rumble. The Road to Wrestlemania. The very idea of it drags casual wrestling fans back to their televisions and sets message boards on fire with new users, and it's hardly any surprise, as things are already started to heat right the hell up. Hell, this show only has four matches on it, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD MAIN EVENT A PPV EASILY. The culmination of the dramatic Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt feud, a new chapter in the storied Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show rivalry, and a clash between two of the biggest names of this era for the unified WWE championship, and all of that is just the warm up for the most anticipated match of the year itself, the Rumbly, Rumbly, Rumble. But what am I ding sitting here trying to sell it to you? We've all seen it, and boy howdy if people don't ever have some strong opinions about it. Now it's time to add outs onto the heap.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Summerslam 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that prefer Winterslam, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as World Wrestling Entertainment jetsets over to the City of Angels for the latest in their yearly exercise in spectacle, WWE Summerslam 2013. Now you may have heard this in one of two places coming into this show, but there's actually this pretty important match going on tonight that has been built up across every WWE television show, and with the full strength of the WWE promotional vehicle behind it. That match is obviously Natalya vs. Brie Bella, but there are probably some other matches on this card too. Let's take a look. Wait, Bray Wyatt in a RING OF FIRE MATCH?! Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena?! CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar?! Alright, which one of you turned on the dream booking machine? Because we owe you a lifetime's worth of high fives for this card, which is easily one of the most exciting in recent memory. Will the torch be passed to Daniel Bryan? Will the Best beat the Beast? And will Big E Langston actually win a match and stop making me sad? Join me, and my mad scientist compatriots Artie and Michael, as we learn all this and more.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Money in the Bank 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Money in the Bank 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that totally liked Daniel Bryan better when he was called American Dragon for some reason, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we set our sights on what has become the fourth biggest show of the WWE year, WWE Money in the Bank 2013. For the past several years, this show has been a yearly turning point for WWE, with incredible events taking place, and the seeds being planted for storylines months in advance. As such, they have quickly created a show that truly matters in the middle of the dreariest part of the wrestling calender. Tonight is no different, of course, as we have two different Money in the Bank ladder matches, a heated John Cena/Mark Henry match, a whole bunch of undercard goodness, and a pre show match so good that we're forced to review it. With all of this goodness on the table, it's obviously far too much for me to handle on my own, so I'm bringing up a hot prospect from the minors. You may remember him from our NXT Scouting Reports earlier this month, and he enjoys long walks on the beach, death metal and spirited debates about Kamen Rider. His name is Artie. And he is both the hero we need right now AND the hero we deserve. So with my new sidekick by my side, and a night full of intrigue ahead, there's only one thing left to say.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

Cewsh Scouts NXT 2013

Why hello, I didn't see you there. Welcome to the Cewsh Institute for Careful Observation and Contextual Knowledge. Here at COCK we take our jobs very seriously as the foremost wrestling scouts on the internet. Previously, we have brought you detailed breakdowns of both the NXT roster and the New Japan Pro Wrestling roster, and today we're here a year later to retrace our steps and evaluate the new recruits and blossoming prospects of WWE's developmental program, as well as revisiting our evaluations from last time.

We have 16 men and women here who will be judged by their pros and cons, and will be assigned a grade based on their potential as WWE prospects. We will also be rendering judgement on whether or not these individuals are ready for full time main roster competition. Today we'll be breaking down the first four of these, focusing on everyone holding gold in NXT at the moment. Joining me in the venture are my esteemed colleagues: Psycho, Artie and Dennis. Psycho joined us last time, Artie is new to NXT but is very enthusiastic about it, and Dennis is so familiar with the product that eating the cupcakes he brings to shows has become a rite of passage for new talent. Together we will put our lab coats on, carefully evaluate strengths and weaknesses, and try to find out just exactly who the stars of tomorrow will be. Are you ready for some hardcore fact mining and grueling tape watching? No? Well then lucky for you that we did it all for you.

To Be Continued »

WWE Payback 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Payback 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that view payback as a demand to have your money returned, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we take our first grown ups steps into the iffy WWE summer ppv schedule with WWE Payback 2013! Now, traditionally, this is the time of year where everything pretty much goes to hell interest-wise. They start pushing new acts, they start experimenting with new main eventers, and in general they just kind of kill time until Money in the Bank rolls around. But surprisingly, here we are in the middle of June and there's quite a bit to talk about already. We have Ryback attempting to put his stamp on WWE by destroying John Cena in a 3 Stages of Hell match, CM Punk making his triumphant return in the town that he owes as surely as if his name was on the deed, and we even have that AJ/Kaitlyn match that they've been building to for 12 years and have never actually gotten around to. So with quite a lot to talk about for once, let's not waste any time getting to the good stuff.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Extreme Rules 2013

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To Be Continued »

WWE Wrestlemania XXIX

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania XXIX

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the coolest cats this side of a serial killer's refrigerator  Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we all don our tuxedos and evening dresses for the fanciest and most prestigious night of the wrestling year. Come be thrilled as our monocles pop out in amazement, come be dazzled as our silken fans flutter to calm our enraged emotions, and come be confused as you try to figure out how you feel about Vice in an evening gown. However you come join us, and for whatever reason, we have our most jam packed, star studded gala event of the season ready and waiting for you to partake of. Will John Cena embrace the hate and finally get redemption for his greatest failure? Will Triple H's career survive the horrific machination of a deranged monster? Will CM Punk be the man who forever tarnishes the greatest statistic in wrestling history? Is anyone else even on this show? There's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Elimination Chamber 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ELIMINATION CHAMBER 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the blog that is still a rat in a cage despite all of it's rage, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we take the last speed bump on the Road To Wrestlemania at full speed and cover WWE's Elimination Chamber 2013. As the biggest wrestling show of the year comes up quickly, the hopefuls who would like to secure their spot in history have to pass through enormous challenges and physical peril in order to get there, and that's including the ones who don't have to be in a ring with Brodus Clay. We have CM Punk, on the brink of insanity, battling to regain the championship that he held for all of 2012, the Rock looking to hold onto his newly found validation, and a whole bunch of guys ready to suffer through the elimination chamber for a last chance shot at history. Bodies will be broken, spirits will be crushed, and remotes will be throw at tvs, because this is the night that means everything for these boys and girls. Who will be left out in the cold? Only one way to find out.

Oh, and fair warning. There will be rhyming. Oh yes, there will be rhyming. I apologize in advance.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviews that will hide under the ring until all the other reviews are eliminated, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we have finally reached what many people consider to be the funnest and most interesting wrestling event of the year, the Royal Rumble. And this one is shaping up to be a doozy, which 30 men ready to enter and seemingly 10 odds on favorites to win. Will the monster Ryback destroy everything in his first Rumble match? Will John Cena erase the stink of 2012 with some redemption? Will Heath Slater make it all the way to the ring before someone beats him up? All great questions. And, for once, the Rumble isn't the only place for rampant speculation and interest. Because we will also see the match up that would have blown 2003 Cewsh's mind out of his ears, CM Punk vs. The Rock. Will Punk rise to the challenge and hold off the greatest threat to his title in his entire 400+ day reign? Or will The Rock find his inner champion one more time and show that he's still as good as it gets? How many more questions can I pack into this intro? I don't know?!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE TLC 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE TLC 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the reviews that steal the show AND sell it on the black market, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we return to the industry leader in wrestling entertainment for their 2012 close out spectacular, WWE Tables, Ladders and Chairs 2012. The December pay per view has always had a peculiar place in the WWE hierarchy, as it not only ends the calender year, but is the proverbial last stop before we begin WWE's premier attraction, the Road to Wrestlemania. Since new things are about to begin, TLC is about shuffling the necessary pieces into position for the big pushes to come, and about blowing off 2012 feuds that won't be continuing on into 2013. Of course, it's also about seeing people climb ladders, get hit with chairs and fall through tables, sometimes in that exact order. So with a show that is surprisingly stocked with meaningful matches, and on a night where multiple young stars get a chance to truly make a name for themselves, (more on that later,) we have ourselves what may be the most interesting show since Extreme Rules. But with the scourge of TNA's Bound For Glory fresh in the memory, the question must be asked. Can WWE actually capitalize on this opportunity, or will they blow it all to hell in a blaze of whatever the opposite of glory is? As always, there's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Survivor Series 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Survivor Series 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that taste better the next day, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you to tonight, as we tackle one the oldest and most venerable active shows in existence with WWE Survivor Series 2012. Despite this pay per view having some rough times in the past few years, it has sort of become the show that gives you the first hints of what you're likely to see come Wrestlemania season. WWE is starting to move the right pieces into place for the biggest push of their lives, and if we can take the build to this show to be representative of that, then Wrestlemania will be renamed RYBACKAMANIA any day now. And it is here that Ryback will get his second chance at the greatest prize in wrestling, as he goes head to head with the two biggest stars in WWE in a triple threat match that could well have era spanning ramifications. Add on to that some good ol' fashioned elimination matches and literally the biggest test of Sheamus' career, and we may just have ourselves a show.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Night of Champions 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviews that bring home the bacon and have terrible cholesterol, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we cover a show that's so goddamn gold that Indiana Jones will be questing for it 20 years from now, WWE Night of Champions 2012. Now then, we all know that the summer months have been more than a bit dreary and dull, but as we roll into fall, things are going to start to get interesting and it starts at the top. After all, a newly heel turned, (and Paul Heyman managed,) CM Punk is running roughshod across the main event these days, and now his arch rival John Cena has stepped up to the plate for one more epic match. If Punk beats Cena, he finally gets the respect he deserves, and if Cena beats Punk he finally redeems the least successful year of his career since he started rapping. But there's more on the line here than just those two jokers. We've got Irishmen fighting Mexicans, we've got spirited attempts to pretend that the lesser divisions matter, and, perhaps most importantly, we have a performance that absolutely stole the show. Who gave it? Well, as always, there's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Hell in a Cell 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE HELL IN A CELL 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the blog that puts the "hell" in Helvetica, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as the skies grow dark, the world grows cold and the demonic realm rises to the surface for one night to give you WWE Hell in a Cell 2012. So what does hell have on the docket for us tonight? Well we'll see a giant fight an Irishman, we'll see three women fight because one of them was pretending to like the others, we'll see a Punk get mauled by a monster and we might even see the Miz. I don't know what version of hell this is, but it sounds about right. But the real story here is, of course, Ryback. The big man is on a rocketship to his first ever main event here, and he has been tearing people limb from limb all the way. Will Punk be able to escape the biggest threat to his title yet? Or will Ryback steamroll Punk, win the title and promptly eat it? There's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Summerslam 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the best wrestling wrestling in the world that remind you of squishy toy balls you played with as a kid, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we officially unveil a new member to our staff going forward. Yes, you've known her as Mrs. Cewsh's Sister and you've known her as the Turnip Queen, and now the much more reasonably named Fey will be joining me monthly to review the shenanigans and goings on in the world of WWE. She just started watching wrestling in June, and is here to provide some perspective to us battle hardened smarks as we trudge through the summer slog towards the bright lights of Wrestlemania off in the distance. But there's no time for wistfullness or grand introductions now! We have a Summerslam to review gosh darn it. Brock Lesnar and Triple H! CM Punk and John Cena and the Big Show! Other things too probably! Let's not waste any more time stretching this introduction out! On with the show!

So without any further ado let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »