JCW Bloodymania 7

Juggalo Championship Wrestling Proudly Presents...

JCW Bloodymania 7

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that have a harder time explaining their internet search history than your dad when he discovered internet porn, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we forgo the usual legendary classics and exciting present day shows, and instead take a look at what those wacky Jugglos were up to last year, as we review JCW Bloodymania 7! Normally, this is the part of the intro where I hype you up with an exciting preview of what is to come, but from all the feedback we've gotten over the years, just seeing the letters "JCW" up there is either going to make you click the "Read More" link so fast that you shatter the sound barrier, or cause you to delete your bookmark for this site in disgust. Either way, I respect your decision. It's about to get crazy in here, ya'll.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Wrestlemania 31

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania 31

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that think that Wrestlemania is insensitive to maniacs and should be changed to Wrestlefunforthewholefamily, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we roll out that proverbial red carpet, put on our finest evening wear, (tuxedo t shirt worn over a velvet bathrobe,) and get ready to review the most prestigious wrestling event in all the world, WWE Wrestlemania! Now, it's been a long road to the show of shows this year, with about as much controversy leading up to it as I can ever remember seeing before. From Daniel Bryan's terrible injury, shocking return, and subsequent lack of push, to the phoenix like rise of Roman Reigns against the will of many fans, to a Wrestlemania headliner who barely appears on more WWE shows than I do.

It's been a tumultuous Road to Wrestlemania, made even stranger by a build that even Vince McMahon acknowledged was thrown together at the last minute compared to shows in the past. So just what kind of show can we really expect from all this chaos? I don't have the slightest idea, but what I can tell you is that I will not be alone in this review. Now you may be expecting our regular contributors like Artie, Psycho, MichaelC, maybe even the returns of Cewsh Reviews Hall of Famers Vice and Mrs. Cewsh. Those would all be great, but we're going much bigger this year. Oh yes, you see, we listen to our fans. We've seen all your requests for your favorite guest reviewers and we tabulated it up. And so tonight, we're bringing back the three most requested guest reviewers and Cewsh Reviews history!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2015

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Royal Rumble 2015

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog that shows up less often than your dad to your Little League games, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we hop in the car, adjust the rear view mirror, put some fuzzy dice on the dash, and get ready for the road to Wrestlemania. The official beginning of that grand adventure starts right here, with the first WWE PPV of the year, WWE Royal Rumble 2015. With a spot in the main event of Wrestlemania on the line in both the Rumble match itself, and in one of the most looked forward to triple threat matches in recent memory this show is full of intrigue, potential, and even a little dash of hope. Smarks the world over are scooching closer to the screen to watch it clutching their Daniel Bryan action figures and daring to dream that this could be the day. But with the specter of Roman Reigns looming, and a card that focuses unusually on big stars, that hopeful dream seems a mile away. Can Daniel Bryan overcome the odds to become regain his spot atop WWE? Will a new star emerge amid the whirling chaos of the Rumble? Can anyone on Earth actually defeat Brock Lesnar? Join Cewsh, Artie, Psycho and our Royal Rumble professor MichaelC as we explore the only way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX

New Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that have no interest in a hoverboard because wheels work just fine, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we are finally able to get our hands on the show that we have been building to for lo these many months. I've talked about it on the Cewshcast, I've written about it all over social media and on all kinds of different sites, and our previews leading up to the show were juuuuuuust shy of being insufferably overbearing. All of that hype, anticipation and excitement has led up to one of the most important wrestling shows of the century, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX! Tonight we will see the culmination on an incredible feud, a compilation of talent unmatched in any promotion since the dawn of time, and also Jeff Jarrett! You'll see death defying dives, intense slugfests, and i'm going to use the phrase "dropping bombs on each other" so often that i'm going to go on watchlists all over the world. But most importantly, we're going to take a walk through Wrestle Kingdom together, as American audiences and Japanese ones join as one for the first time to ask together just what kind of adamantium skeleton does Tomohiro Ishii have anyway?

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The 2014 CRL 100 (25 - 1)

Have you ever had that feeling that you were being watched? Like a whole lot of people were hanging on your every word waiting for you to get on with revealing the top 25 of some hypothetical list that you had compiled? It's weird, right? It's almost like they're just waiting for you to say...

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to final day of our CRL 100 countdown of the very best wrestlers of 2014! We've spent months watching tape, having spirited debates and recovering from the injuries caused during those debates, and now it's time to reveal who topped the list and is taking home that prestigious photoshopped trophy. This year was the hardest ever, with the top 10 shuffling almost daily, but the consensus we arrived at is one we believed in, and if you don't like it then you can make your own god damn list. On with the show!

To Be Continued »

The 2014 CRL 100 (50 - 26)

Oh, hey there! Welcome back! Did you enjoy your last stay at the Casa De CRL? Were the wrestlers to your liking? What did you think of the stunning vistas of badassness? Well whatever brought you back here for a second taste of our yearly countdown of the best and brightest that the world of wrestling has to offer, we thank you for coming. After all, this is the part where it really starts to get good. With the first 50 behind us, we now turn our attention to the people who are really deserving of the spotlight for what they accomplished in 2014. Some came out of nowhere to thrill us with performances we never imagined we would see from them, some basically just did what they always do, but everyone in this section of the countdown is stuck in that limbo between the really good, and the truly great. But even if these guys and gals didn't manage to crack the top 25 this year, remember these names. Every single one of them has the push, talent and potential to make it all the way to the top.

Unless they work for TNA.

To Be Continued »

The 2014 CRL 100 (100 - 51)

Welcome, one and all, to part one of the unveiling of the most important list of wrestlers you'll read all year, the 2014 CRL 100! To those of you who are new to the project this year, the idea of the CRL 100 is very simple: determine the 100 wrestlers who accomplished the most, (in terms of both quality of performance and achievement in general,) and then rank them accordingly. If this sounds like an incredibly difficult and exhaustive process, that's because it is. All year long, we here at Cewsh Reviews make a point to seek out the best of every wrestling promotion in the world so we have a strong idea of who the top dogs are, and hours and hours were spent nitpicking ranking choices and trying to figure out if Rusev reeeeeeeally deserved to be ahead of ECIII. The result of all that hard work is a list of the best of the best, and something that we will proudly hold up next to any other rankings list that may be more popular but has no credibility whatsoever. You know, if something like that exists. In a magazine perhaps.

It's a big undertaking, but luckily this year I had help, as my Cewshcast compadres, Artie and Julius, joined me in making this list up. So as you read the first 50 members of this esteemed list, just remember: they're just as much to blame as I am.

To Be Continued »

How Hiroshi Tanahashi Saved New Japan From Itself

On October 13th 2014, Hiroshi Tanahashi defeated AJ Styles for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. In a grueling fight, he managed to beat Styles with his patented High Fly Flow and capture the most prestigious prize in Japanese wrestling for a record breaking 7th time. As he celebrated, Kazuchika Okada, the man who will challenge for his title at New Japan's premier event of the year, Wrestle Kingdom IX, strode to the ring. The two went face to face, and a buzz rose from the 9,000 people clustered around them in Ryougoku Sumo Hall. For the 5th consecutive year, (and 7th out of 8,) the man known as the Ace of the Universe would fight for the biggest title, on the biggest show, for the biggest promotion in his homeland. For the 8th time, he would face Okada, the transcendent star that he made a household name. And for perhaps the final time, he would lead New Japan into uncharted territory, as the face of a wrestling revolution that seeks to take the United States by storm.

As both men posed for the audience, Tanahashi's legion of fans drowned out the shouts from the Okada faithful, driving Okada from the ring. And that left Tanahashi alone in the ring at the end of the show for about the millionth time, posing with the title he rescued from obscurity, shining in the lights like a golden lion.

To Be Continued »

CRSMUTDC4

YOU Proudly Present...

The Cewsh Reviews Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Card 4

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews who take fan interactions so seriously that they place restraining order against us, Cewsh Reviews! We have a VERY special treat for you tonight, as the time has finally come for our yearly foray into fan interaction and good time fun having. If you haven't been keeping up recently, the gist of the Dream Card is that we ask our readers to suggest any individual matches that they'd like to see us review, we put the matches in a hat, and draw out 8 matches to comprise a full card that we review like a real show. All the winners get prizes, and everyone goes home happy as a clam, (aside from the people who don't get picked, who are released back into the wild angry and intoxicated.) Every match on this show was handpicked by our readers, and therefore we take absolutely no responsibility for what is to come, whether its good, (as it sometimes is,) or torturously bad, (way more frequent.) Luckily, here to help me carry the load are an unprecedented 5 DIFFERENT GUEST REVIEWERS! Will our guests from other blogs feel the full blunt force of your decisions? There's only one way to find out.

So with no further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents..

WWE SUMMERSLAM 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the the only reviews that tease you more than an out of your league prom date, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we have finally reached the show that the entire tumultuous summer has been building to, WWE Summerslam 2014. We've had rivalries brewing for months, as PPV after PPV has exceeded expectations, both in terms of quality and storyline progression, and now we've come to the blowoff where it all has to count for something. Can Lesnar vs. Cena avoid the curse of the Summerslog and be as good as we hope it can be? Can Ambrose and Rollins live up to the months of hype and expectation? Will the Miz continue to win my heart with his Hollywood heel antics? There's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »