WWE Hell in a Cell 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE HELL IN A CELL 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the blog that puts the "hell" in Helvetica, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as the skies grow dark, the world grows cold and the demonic realm rises to the surface for one night to give you WWE Hell in a Cell 2012. So what does hell have on the docket for us tonight? Well we'll see a giant fight an Irishman, we'll see three women fight because one of them was pretending to like the others, we'll see a Punk get mauled by a monster and we might even see the Miz. I don't know what version of hell this is, but it sounds about right. But the real story here is, of course, Ryback. The big man is on a rocketship to his first ever main event here, and he has been tearing people limb from limb all the way. Will Punk be able to escape the biggest threat to his title yet? Or will Ryback steamroll Punk, win the title and promptly eat it? There's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

Cewsh Scouts NXT

Welcome, cats and kittens, to a very special installment of our Sunday Supplements. See, where we'd usually go in for a list, or a detailed breakdown of some great feud, or just make fun of people's clothes, today we're here to provide a public service. Of all the things that we've ever been asked to do since we started Cewsh Reviews, easily the most often requested is that we shed some light on the men and women currently in development for WWE. It's long been an interest of mine to keep an eye on the people coming up through the system, but most people don't have the time or inclination to watch those shows and see what the future may hold for themselves.

"Like I Have Time For That. There's A Law And Order Marathon On."

So tonight, my scouting partner Psycho and I will be giving you a guided tour through the mysterious world of tomorrow, and we'll be grading the prospects with letters, like schoolteachers, that are based on their current value as potential stars. Hell, I'll even throw in a pros and cons list and a definitive answer on whether or not they're ready for the main roster. So put on your moon boots, and settle in, because tonight, for the first time, we're taking a magnifying glass to the denizens of NXT.

To Be Continued »

Kenta Kobashi And The Reign Of Excellence

Kenta Kobashi is the greatest professional wrestler who ever lived.

Do I have your attention?

How about if I told you that the man who might well be the greatest babyface ever to draw breath once held a World Championship for 2 straight years, and that that reign is considered by people smarter even than me to be the greatest accomplishment involving gold since 4 old ladies decided to live together and keep it real? What follows here is a chronicle, a review, and an accounting of this reign, and not only what it accomplished, but what it meant to the history of Japanese wrestling as a whole. And if you're the type who immediately dismisses anything that happens in a ring on the other side of whatever ocean or landmass Japan is from where you are, just this once let that wall down and let the incredible battles, triumphs and sacrifices of the man who wields the Burning Hammer wash over you. DDT and Defrost will be your tour guides through the strange and exhilarating world the awaits you, and will tell you everything from the years and years of backstory leading through the matches, to the very specific reason why the way the reign ended may have been the death knell for Pro Wrestling NOAH, even years before the cracks began to show.

So ice your knees in sympathy and lariat the cat, because the greatest reign of Kenta Kobashi is coming. And the world it left behind was forever changed.

To Be Continued »

NJPW/AJPW We Are Pro Wrestling Love

New Japan Pro Wrestling and All Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Present....

NJPW/AJPW We Are Pro Wrestling Love 
40th Anniversary Spectacular

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only wrestling reviews that challenge your mind, and irritate your pancreas, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we review a show a full 40 years in the making. See, after the resounding success of the All Together dream shows, and with he 40th anniversary of both companies going on, All Japan and New Japan decided to team up again to bring the house down in a major way. So once again we'll have the best of All Japan going up against the best of our friends in New Japan in all kinds of fancy dream matches of the sort that make fantasy bookers quiver the world over. We'll have two World title matches, all kinds of matches featuring the best young talent in Japan and some of the greatest legends in wrestling history, and even Lance Hoyt. Tremendous draw that he is. And to cap it all off, we will be visited once again by the golden abed god of wrestling himself, Hiroshi Tanahashi, as he attempts to extend his record as the only wrestler in the history of Cewsh Reviews to get a Seal of Approval on every match we've reviewed. Can he continue his incredible streak? Will this show top the feel goodness of All Together? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

10 Things To Know Before Going To An Indy Show

Oh, hello. I didn't see you there. As I'm sure you've noticed, I'm Cewsh, from the amazingly successful blog "Cewsh Reviews" and yes, I am really this handsome. I'm here today to bring you fine, upstanding people some tips and tricks to help you navigate the strange and mysterious world of independent wrestling shows. For many years, countless young men and women have gone to attend their first indy show without any real concept of what it was they were getting themselves into. Today, we'll change all that by providing the internet's most definitive list of the items that will get you through a long day of watching fat old guys wrestle skinny young guys while they get heckled by fat young guys and skinny old guys. When you leave this webpage you'll be armed with all of the knowledge necessary to boldly walk into a wrestling show anywhere on this great planet of ours and declare, "PREPARATIONS ARE COMPLETE, BRING ME YOUR FINEST WRESTLINGS."

The Crown Will Be A Nice Touch.

Only, you know, don't.

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2012

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Summerslam 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the best wrestling wrestling in the world that remind you of squishy toy balls you played with as a kid, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we officially unveil a new member to our staff going forward. Yes, you've known her as Mrs. Cewsh's Sister and you've known her as the Turnip Queen, and now the much more reasonably named Fey will be joining me monthly to review the shenanigans and goings on in the world of WWE. She just started watching wrestling in June, and is here to provide some perspective to us battle hardened smarks as we trudge through the summer slog towards the bright lights of Wrestlemania off in the distance. But there's no time for wistfullness or grand introductions now! We have a Summerslam to review gosh darn it. Brock Lesnar and Triple H! CM Punk and John Cena and the Big Show! Other things too probably! Let's not waste any more time stretching this introduction out! On with the show!

So without any further ado let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

CRSMUTDC3

YOU Proudly Present...

The Cewsh Reviews Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Card 3

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog on the internet that is interactive in any capacity whatsoever, as long as you don't include all the others, Cewsh Reviews! We have our very most special treat for you tonight, boys and girls, because the biggest night of the reviewing year has finally come. All year long we review shows from all over the world, from all sorts of promotions, and from all different eras, but only ONCE a year do we open up the floodgates and allow you, our dear readers, to decide what we review. If this is your first go round on the Dream Card train, it works like this. Back in June we opened up submissions to anyone who wanted to suggest a match, and let them choose any match ever contested so long as a) we could find it to watch it and b) we'd never reviewed it before. You crazy bastards turned out in droves and submitted matches from all over the spectrum, from fictional matches to absolute classic to random matches you liked on a tv show in 1998. We stuck them all in an Optimus Prime Mr. Potato Head, (Optimash Prime,) and pulled out 8 lucky winners at random and sent them all a DVD prize. Those eight matches are what we'll be reviewing here today, and man, they're all over the spectrum, and truly representative of the randomness that comes out of your collective brains when given free reign to suggest anything. And man, do we ever love you for it.

Though It Wouldn't Kill You To Send In A Bobby Lashley Match For Me, You Know.

But this is our premiere event, our gala spectacle. We can't half ass this. So the original triad of Cewsh Reviews, Cewsh, Vice and Mrs. Cewsh have joined their power rings together and gotten totally swanked out, in order to bring you a review utterly unlike anything you've ever seen before, (unless you read the first two.) So get ready to yell at the submitters for what they chose, and yell at us for what we think, and remember, next year a winner could be you.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The 2012 CRL 100

Tonight I am proud to unveil the debut CRL 100. What is this mysterious conglomeration of numbers and letters, you ask? Well that's very simple. It stands for Cewsh Reviews List 100, and it is the first in a yearly reckoning of the best wrestlers of the past year as determined by, naturally, Cewsh. Wait! I can see you closing this tab and moving on to another one featuring the kind of porn that it would be weird to even talk about. And that's understandable, because when it comes to wrestling related lists, let's be honest. They suck. If they aren't comprised entirely of WWE guys with a token indy guy thrown in, then they're based on criteria so bafflingly vague that it's impossible to figure out why in the hell they ever bothered in the first place. I know, believe me. I've suffered right along with you through lists that keep men and women segregated, and lists that actually have the balls to declare the Miz the best wrestler on Earth in a given year.

But that all ends today.

You see, with my CRL 100, I have painstakingly whittled down every single active wrestler in this industry until I got the 100 most ass kicking, body rocking, shit talking, walk walking sons (and daughters) of bitches walking the Earth today. Some will come from WWE, but others will proudly represent New Japan, All Japan, DDT, Pro Wrestling NOAH, CMLL, AAA, Shimmer, Ring of Honor, CHIKARA, WSU, Anarchy, Dragon Gate and even more than that. Every effort has been made to remove personal bias and nonsensical notions from the making here, and with any luck what I have crafted here is a list you can look to and be proud of, born of research, hard decisions and experience.

And hey, if that fails, lists are great for killing time, right?

To Be Continued »

WWE Monday Night Raw #1,000

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Monday Night Raw

1,000th Episode

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the blog that is always incisive and ever divisive, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have gathered today to review an episode of Monday Night Raw for only the third time in Cewsh Reviews history. But why tonight, you ask? Because it's the 1,000th time the show has come on, and 1,000 is, like, a really big number and stuff. But tonight isn't just about reaching a symmetrical number in the history of WWE programming. It's also being branded as a new beginning for WWE and a night to enjoy the twin spectacles of nostalgia and whatever you would call nostalgia for things that will happen in the future. Possibly Futalgia, though that sounds like a kind of Athlete's Foot.  Joining me on this journey through time, is our very own Professor of Wrestling History and full time Doctor Who enthusiast MichaelC, and our special guest making his return to Cewsh Reviews, Psycho! So you can tell for tonight's special review, we'll be doing it up proper, and although you can't tell, we're all wearing tuxedos and pretty dresses and are gesturing wildly with out top hats and monocles for the show to get on with it already.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Destination X 2012

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA Destination X 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the blog that is responsible for everything having an X in it in the 90s, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we take a fancy little ride down the East Coast to Orlando and once again enter a world full of color, wonder and ire.

And Of Course I Mean The New Sitcom Announcin' Buddies, Starring Jeremy Borash And Mike Tenay.

Of course we could only be talking about Total Nonstop Action, and tonight we review what many are beginning to regard as the centerpiece of their wrestling year, Destination X. Tonight the entire show, (or most of it anyway,) is based entirely around the fabled X-Division, and at the top of the card, arguably the greatest X-Division champion of all time, Austin Aries, will do battle with Bobby Roode to not only become the World Heavyweight Champion, but also to bring the X-Division into manhood at last. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. We've got bitter feuds, a whole host of newbies and a beloved feud from the past to see on our way to the end. So kick your feat up, and start feeling EXTREME, and let's get this show on the road.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »