NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX

New Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that have no interest in a hoverboard because wheels work just fine, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we are finally able to get our hands on the show that we have been building to for lo these many months. I've talked about it on the Cewshcast, I've written about it all over social media and on all kinds of different sites, and our previews leading up to the show were juuuuuuust shy of being insufferably overbearing. All of that hype, anticipation and excitement has led up to one of the most important wrestling shows of the century, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX! Tonight we will see the culmination on an incredible feud, a compilation of talent unmatched in any promotion since the dawn of time, and also Jeff Jarrett! You'll see death defying dives, intense slugfests, and i'm going to use the phrase "dropping bombs on each other" so often that i'm going to go on watchlists all over the world. But most importantly, we're going to take a walk through Wrestle Kingdom together, as American audiences and Japanese ones join as one for the first time to ask together just what kind of adamantium skeleton does Tomohiro Ishii have anyway?

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

CRSMUTDC4

YOU Proudly Present...

The Cewsh Reviews Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Card 4

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews who take fan interactions so seriously that they place restraining order against us, Cewsh Reviews! We have a VERY special treat for you tonight, as the time has finally come for our yearly foray into fan interaction and good time fun having. If you haven't been keeping up recently, the gist of the Dream Card is that we ask our readers to suggest any individual matches that they'd like to see us review, we put the matches in a hat, and draw out 8 matches to comprise a full card that we review like a real show. All the winners get prizes, and everyone goes home happy as a clam, (aside from the people who don't get picked, who are released back into the wild angry and intoxicated.) Every match on this show was handpicked by our readers, and therefore we take absolutely no responsibility for what is to come, whether its good, (as it sometimes is,) or torturously bad, (way more frequent.) Luckily, here to help me carry the load are an unprecedented 5 DIFFERENT GUEST REVIEWERS! Will our guests from other blogs feel the full blunt force of your decisions? There's only one way to find out.

So with no further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

Empty Budokan: How AJPW and NOAH Survived The 00s To Die In The 10s

Nothing lasts forever.

No matter how mighty or unassailable something may seem in the peak of it's strength, it can easily crumble and fall apart if not properly tended to. Staying on top in any industry is all about changing with the times, keeping an eye towards the future and ensuring that your company has everything it needs to keep performing at the highest possible level. As you might have guessed from the title of this post, this is the story of two companies who did not take these lessons to heart. And now, despite both being, at various times, the top promotion in all of Japan, they now both sit on the precipice of obscurity and failure.

How did things get this way? How did the fertile ground that birthed the Four Pillars, (Kenta Kobashi, Mitsuharu Misawa, Toshiaki Kawada and Akira Taue,) later become known for fights in the locker room? How did a company founded by the most popular wrestler in the nation, and built in his image, lead all of wrestling in failed main event pushes? Today, we'll do our best to answer those questions.

To Be Continued »

NJPW Invasion Attack 2013

New Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Invasion Attack 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that send you flowers after lariating you, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we look to Japan for a big time follow up to one of the most incredible shows we've ever reviewed, and focus on NJPW Invasion Attack 2013! Now, if you remember our review of Wrestle Kingdom from this year, the first thing that jumps to mind is no doubt how completely over the moon we were for it. The matches were incredible, the rivalries were on fire, and the show was capped by the biggest match that money could buy, as we saw Hiroshi Tanahashi hold off the attack of the upstart challenger, Kazuchika Okada. Well now all of that is coming to a head one more time, as Okada gets one last shot at reducing the Empire of the Golden Abs to rubble and remaking it in his image. One more go round for the hottest feud to hit Japan since the 90s, and that's just one of the wild things on this show. We'll get a crazy heel turn, the strange return of the NWA, and the match that our Puro guy Defrost excitedly named "the greatest match of all time." What more can I say? Let's get this party started.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom VII

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom VII

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that take 2 months to get Japan and back, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we travel back to Japan for what has become easily the second largest and most significant event of the wrestling year, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom VII. Over the past few years, New Japan Pro Wrestling has transformed itself from the least rotten apple in a rotten bunch of Japanese promotions to I don't even know man. Some kind of super apple? An apple stuffed with diamonds or something? I'm not Dr Analogy, guys. Anyway, New Japan has been on a roll completely unmatched by any wrestling company since the Attitude Era, and now we've come to their version of the Rock vs. Steve Austin at their version of Wrestlemania. Yeah, it's that on. Okada and Tanahashi are going to meet tonight in one of the biggest and most important matches of this decade. But hey, that's only one match on one of the most stacked cards of the year. Want to see if this is all just empty hype? Well then read on, boys and girls. You won't be disappointed.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

Cewsh Scouts New Japan

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another of our invigorating Sunday Supplements. You may remember that a month or two ago Psycho and I went in depth in breaking down the talent of tomorrow when we did a scouting report on WWE's developmental program, NXT. The response this got was staggering, as people seemed genuinely fascinated to finally get some detailed information about guys they had only heard of, if that, but who would soon be gracing their television screens. (It didn't hurt that the Shield and Big E Langston were called up mere weeks afterwards.) So to continue along the lines of helping to shed some light on parts of the wrestling world that many fans never get a chance to see, this week we're going to be focusing on the Japanese powerhouse that is New Japan Pro Wrestling.

The Official Wrestling Promotion Of House Lannister.

To those of you who don't follow Japanese wrestling, New Japan is a true giant in the wrestling world, surpassed internationally only by WWE and growing with each new day. They've taken a dominant hold of the entire Japanese market with a crop of stars that were either students or unknowns when the last great era of Japanese wrestling was going on. But who are these people who have taken New Japan from Antonio Inoki's great practical joke to the world to a thriving promotion hot on WWE's heels? Well, with the biggest show in wrestling barring Wrestlemania, (NJPW Wrestle Kingdom VII,) having just passed, let's evaluate them, shall we? And hell, with Defrost along for the ride, we'll even use the famous 5 star system instead of grades.

To Be Continued »

Kenta Kobashi And The Reign Of Excellence

Kenta Kobashi is the greatest professional wrestler who ever lived.

Do I have your attention?

How about if I told you that the man who might well be the greatest babyface ever to draw breath once held a World Championship for 2 straight years, and that that reign is considered by people smarter even than me to be the greatest accomplishment involving gold since 4 old ladies decided to live together and keep it real? What follows here is a chronicle, a review, and an accounting of this reign, and not only what it accomplished, but what it meant to the history of Japanese wrestling as a whole. And if you're the type who immediately dismisses anything that happens in a ring on the other side of whatever ocean or landmass Japan is from where you are, just this once let that wall down and let the incredible battles, triumphs and sacrifices of the man who wields the Burning Hammer wash over you. DDT and Defrost will be your tour guides through the strange and exhilarating world the awaits you, and will tell you everything from the years and years of backstory leading through the matches, to the very specific reason why the way the reign ended may have been the death knell for Pro Wrestling NOAH, even years before the cracks began to show.

So ice your knees in sympathy and lariat the cat, because the greatest reign of Kenta Kobashi is coming. And the world it left behind was forever changed.

To Be Continued »

NJPW/AJPW We Are Pro Wrestling Love

New Japan Pro Wrestling and All Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Present....

NJPW/AJPW We Are Pro Wrestling Love 
40th Anniversary Spectacular

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only wrestling reviews that challenge your mind, and irritate your pancreas, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we review a show a full 40 years in the making. See, after the resounding success of the All Together dream shows, and with he 40th anniversary of both companies going on, All Japan and New Japan decided to team up again to bring the house down in a major way. So once again we'll have the best of All Japan going up against the best of our friends in New Japan in all kinds of fancy dream matches of the sort that make fantasy bookers quiver the world over. We'll have two World title matches, all kinds of matches featuring the best young talent in Japan and some of the greatest legends in wrestling history, and even Lance Hoyt. Tremendous draw that he is. And to cap it all off, we will be visited once again by the golden abed god of wrestling himself, Hiroshi Tanahashi, as he attempts to extend his record as the only wrestler in the history of Cewsh Reviews to get a Seal of Approval on every match we've reviewed. Can he continue his incredible streak? Will this show top the feel goodness of All Together? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom VI

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents…

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom VI

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only thing more popular in Japan than Hello Kitty, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we once again take a trip on over to see what our friends in the Land of the Rising Lariat are up to. But if you’re new to the Japanese wrestling game, or can’t tell one show apart from another, rest assured that this is not just any show. Wrestle Kingdom is the show of shows, the night of kings, and the things that every Japanese wrestler works towards every day of the year until the 4[SUP]th[/SUP] of each January. You could liken it to Wrestlemania, but even that wouldn’t quite say it, because Wrestlemania is just the gala event of WWE, whereas this show features the best from companies all over Japan and America, packed into one supercard to kick off the new year in style so fierce that RuPaul would give it two snaps. This night will see incredible legends meet the challenge of fiery upstarts, the two biggest promotions in Japan clashing and Hiroshi Tanahashi fighting for his life against the world’s biggest dickhead (and he’d take that as a compliment) Minoru Suzuki. But will any of this be any good? Well, the card is great and the deck is stacked, so with our resident Puro Professor Defrost as the benevolent dealer, let’s ante up, and find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Dominion 2011

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents…

 

NJPW Dominion 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the review blog that is is only notably more muscular than any other review blog (except those assholes at Tyrannosaurus Flex again), Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we finally and officially kick of Panda Puro Party month with NJPW Dominion 2011. Its been a few months since we’ve checked in with the golden lion of New Japan, and in the time since we left, things have been evolving in a most interesting way. Naito is rising through the ranks rapidly and is being heralded as a future star in a manner very reminiscent of a certain ablicious champion of note. Hirooki Goto has lost his mind and decided to murder Hiroshi Tanahashi, Kota Ibushi has made himself a top name in junior heavyweight wrestling, and perhaps most important, Jeff Hardy isn’t here to fuck everything up. Guess which one makes us the happiest? So let’s jump back into the house that Inoki built (and then demolished and then built again and then demolished again and then…) and see the biggest stars in Japanese wrestling do their fucking thing up right.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

Defrost Reviews - Mutoh vs. Tanahashi

You're in store for a treat, boys and girls.

A Frosty Treat.

For some time now, whenever we've intruded onto the vast and often overwhelming landscape that is puroresu in our reviews, we have called upon our very own incredible fountain of puro information Defrost to guide us safety through to the safe shores on the other side.  We've always more or less sat back and let him drop knowledge on you with impunity, and its resulted in some of the best reviews we've been a part of in my humble (and right) opinion.  So to officially bang the wine bottle against the boat for this month's Puro Party adventure, we're giving you the good stuff unadulterated, as Defrost does his favorite thing. taking 3 matches and examining how a feud grows and shapes itself through the matches, starting with the feud that culminated in the first Japanese wrestling show we ever reviewed here at Cewsh Reviews, Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Keiji Mutoh (or the Great Muta to you WCW fans).  Its informative, interesting, and you'll be smarter when you're done.  So grab your Trapper Keeper and get ready to take notes.  Its time for your Lesson In Lariats.

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom V

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents…

 

NJPW WRESTLE KINGDOM V

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews know to cause Frostbite (heh, get it), Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as the reason I’m making cold related puns is because we’ve got our very own Puro Pal Defrost in the house tonight as we tackle the biggest Japanese wrestling show of the year, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom V. For those of you Cewshkateers who have followed us from the very beginning, you will remember that this is the 3rd year in a row that we have reviewed the very greatest that our neighbors to the Far East have to offer, and each year it sets the benchmark for greatness in wrestling that every other promotion in the world strives to compete with. With any luck this will be no different and Defrost will be here to make sure none of us misses a beat.

So what are we waiting for? This is Wrestle Kingdom night motherfuckers! Put on your best suit, grab a date (immediate family members not allowed), and prepare for a classy evening of having your socks lariated off. Its puro time!

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IV

New Japan Professional Wrestling and Pro Wrestling NOAH Proudly Present…

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IV

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the most valuable (only in mint condition) wrestling review blog on all of the interwebs, Cewsh Reviews! Tonight we have a special treat for you, as we travel to the mysterious land of Japan in search of more wrestling greatness and wrestling oddities in a show called NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IV. You might be thinking to yourself “Cewsh, you review Japanese wrestling shows all the time, and I have no idea who these people with the funny names are. What makes this such a special treat?” Well let me try to put this in context for you. Imagine the WWE Invasion of the early 2000’s. Remember how we got a few dream matches like Hogan/Rock, Hardy/RVD, and Booker T/Rock, but they spread them wayyyy out until they lost all context? Well imagine if they threw all those matches on one fucking show and there was literally no tomorrow, as there would be one winner and one definite loser decided in one place on one night.

Such is the situation here as NJPW, the king of wrestling in Japan, is attempts to stave off the invasion of promotion number two, Pro Wrestling NOAH, in a series of matches pitting the top stars and best of the best against each other to decide which promotion is truly the greatest Japanese wrestling promotion of today. It may be under the NJPW banner here, but this is no foregone conclusion, and it all makes for one of the most exciting wrestling shows of the year.

Don’t believe me? Well kick back, relax, and let the immortal Defrost and I take you on a rollercoaster of thrills and excitement, that may make occasionally stops at Dunkin Donuts to placate Team 3D.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NOAH Great Voyage In Osaka (Misawa Tribute 2)

Pro Wrestling NOAH Proudly Presents…

NOAH Great Voyage In Osaka 10.03.09

(Misawa Tribute 2)

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the SO 2009iest wrestling review blog in the land, Cewsh Reviews. Your very favorite wrestling review team is back from holiday vacation and tonight we have a special treat for you as we once again pay tribute in passing to one of the greatest wrestlers and greatest men that we have ever had the privilege to watch perform for us, Mitsuharu Misawa. I hope that this review and the one before it can help to shed some light on the life and times of this legendary figure in wrestling history, especially for those of you who are less than familiar with Japanese wrestling as a whole. The loss of Misawa was a loss for everyone who values everything that is right about professional wrestling, and though we may try, we’ll do him no justice here. All we can do is summon our resources and pay tribute to him in our small way, hoping that dick and fart jokes will somehow ease the pain of his passing. Suffice to say he is missed.

But again, all is not dark in this hour of contemplation. The ever voracious Defrost will join us yet again on this voyage to the bottom of the sea, and I will pony up by occasionally reminding you that there is a really interesting wrestling show here underneath the backdrop of Misawatude. We might make you laugh, we might make you cry, we might make you think, but at the very least we are guaranteed to make the next few minutes just a little bit awesomer than the ones before it.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking tribute review!

To Be Continued »

NOAH Great Voyage In Tokyo 2009 (Misawa Tribute 1)

Pro Wrestling NOAH Proudly Presents…

NOAH Great Voyage In Tokyo 2009
(Misawa Tribute Show 1)

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the unusually somber Cewsh Reviews. This week, and also the last week in December, we will be celebrating the life of Mitsuharu Misawa, who sadly passed away this year, leaving behind a legacy of greatness and quality of the highest order. As we’re not exactly the classiest people on the planet, we’ve chosen to do this by letting the man’s legacy, Pro Wrestling NOAH, do the tributing for us, as we review the two tribute shows they put on in his honor. We also got our good friend Defrost, who knows more about Japanese wrestling than anyone else we’ve ever met, to give some back story to the momentous career of one of the greatest wrestling careers and lives that any man could ever have, as well as telling us the stories behind the matches here, and why they are so meaningful in the wake of Misawa’s passing. His knowledge is vast, and his telling of the story is long and rewarding. Frankly, we’re all very, very fortunate to have him to tell the tale.

Never fear, though. This isn’t going to be a huge downer review. Vice and I are here to put on the old razzle dazzle and send the Emperor of King’s Road off on his final journey with the humor, pizzazz, and style he deserves. And failing that, pictures of Captain Planet and cat macros. We’re still us, after all.

See?

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »