Cewsh Interviews - Xavier

Top of the evening to you, boys and girls.  Cewsh here with a treat and a half for all of you.  See, we have the best, smartest and handsomest fans in the world, that goes without saying.  But sometimes, despite them being so smart and amazing, and despite us being face meltingly great, on occasion our fans have a tendency to believe that there are things we cannot do.  Build a life size replica of the Louvre out of marshmallows?   Probably not.  Obtain morally questionable photographs of famous celebrities with inanimate objects?  Yeah, not so much our thing.  But when some of you wondered what had become of the former Ring of Honor World Heavyweight Champion Xavier, some of you didn't believe we had the journalistic prowess to find out.  Well thanks to some friendly probing and one incredibly nice and rad former wrestler who has a great appreciation for his fans, we did just that very thing.

 We Mean Xavier, If That Wasn't Obvious.

So without any further ado, allow me to present our one of a kind exclusive interview, as we go 5 rounds with the man they call X.

To Be Continued »

WWE Wrestlemania XXVII

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Wrestlemania XXVII

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviewers that bring in the viewers, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as the culmination of the wrestling year (or the part of it your grandma may have actually heard of anyway) is nigh, and it is finally time for WWE Wrestlemania XXVII! Now the sheer media blitz of Wrestlemania (and our preview special if you’re a good little Cewshketeer) has probably made it abundantly clear what is on this show, so I’m not going to waste any more time hyping it for you. All I’ll say is that excitement is high among the CR Clan going in and we have champagne wishes and caviar dreams about how things may go. Will this Wrestlemania top last year’s above average show? What the fuck will the Rock actually be doing here? And for fuck’s sake, will anyone actually get made a star on the greatest stage of them all? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The Wrestlemania 27 Preview Spectacular

Welcome, cats and kittens, to our little ditty of a preview special for the biggest wrestling show of the calender year, Wrestlemania.  Now before anything else, believe me, I know what you're thinking.  "Oh man, c'mon Cewsh, everyone and their one legged mother does a Wrestlemania Preview.  You'll say who you think will win, who you think SHOULD win, and probably crack some bad jokes about how Snookie is the downfall of the wrestling industry."  Well that is very astute, dear reader, as that is what many of our peers do very much indeed.  But in case you haven't noticed, we here at the Cewsh Reviews do things a little differently.  Yes indeed, we will talk about the matches, but we're going to give you the skinny on the backstories to these little beauties and catch you up on anything you missed along the Road.  Yes, we will predict the shows, but we will use the best in predictive equipment, including actual software, a goddamned cat and whatever the hell batshit system Vice has worked out for us this year.  And of course, then there's Sakura, the Psychic Cat.

So if you're ready to delve into a preview world that makes all the others look totally lame (with all due respect), then buckle your seat belts to spare us the lawsuits, and take the fucking plunge.

To Be Continued »

The CRSMUTDC2 Match Drawing

 Okay boys and girls, the time is here. Vice, Deewun and I are in the process of setting up for the big CRIHAOCSMUTDC2: EB Match Drawing Chattacular. What we're going to do is we'll all three be chatting together as Vice draws the matches from Optimash Prime and i'll post the drawings, the person who picked it, and our reactions to them, so you can find out just how much we hate you all for torturing us.

Before that occurs though (because we're still waiting on Deewun) I have a big Cewsh Reviews related announcement to make.

After discussing it with Rajah himself, starting at Wrestlemania, you will now be able to read Cewsh Reviews on the main page of Rajah.com.

There wont be any pictures, naturally, so it wont be as totally batshit awesome as the reviews you know and love, but you'll still be getting them here on the blog as well. Just many MORE of you will be getting them now, and with any luck more eyes will be headed our way in the near future.

But that's for then and this is for now.  So without any further ado, here are the matches submitted by you!

To Be Continued »

The Shimmer Volumes 37-40 Wrap Up Spectacular

Hello darlings, we're home from Shimmer! It was even more fun than last time! Would you like some results, thoughts, and pictures? Of course you would. So without further ado, SHIMMER!

To Be Continued »

TNA Victory Road 2011

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To Be Continued »

TNA Against All Odds 2011

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents…

TNA Against All Odds 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews defended by the champion of Redwall, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we take a trip down to Orlando and ride the rides at Universal Studios, shed a tear at the office space where Nickelodeon Studios used to be, and, if there’s time, review TNA’s Against All Odds 2011! Now when last we left TNA, Immortal had all the titles in TNA except for the very most prized one which Ken Anderson had won in shocking fashion. He’s managed to hold onto it all month despite the best attempts of Fortune to get it back and tonight Jeff Hardy will have to try to take it away himself, all alone, in the match that he made Extreme, a ladder match. Meanwhile, Immortal is in turmoil as Fortune (AJ Styles, Kazarian and Beer Money) have split from the group to find their own spotlight, and Kurt Angle, Scott Steiner and Amazing Red really tall brother have come together with them to even the odds. Tonight things wont be settled, but people will punch each other over issues, which is good enough for me.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Elimination Chamber 2011

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Elimination Chamber 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of everybody's favorite girlfriend, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we take the final step on the Road (though considering it has about 2 steps, maybe its more of a path?) to Wrestlemania as we review WWE Elimination Chamber 2011. Ah, its that time of year again, boys and girls as a young man's fancy turns to thoughts of greased up musclemen (and women) vying for the opportunity to see their dreams come true in the main event of Wrestlemania. Tonight, those men that were unlucky enough to not win the Royal Rumble and get the easy road will try to take the hard way to the main event of Wrestlemania, through the ominous Chambers that await them. Locked inside will be their hopes and dreams, and only one man in each chamber match will survive (metaphorically) to see his dream come true. So with bated breath, and a surprise or two along the way, let's not leave you in suspense.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2011

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Royal Rumble 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the reviews so royal that they rumble, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat in store for you tonight as we kick of the exciting Road to Wrestlemania tonight with one of the most anticipated and prestigious shows of the year, WWE Royal Rumble 2011. Now if you’ve been reading Cewsh Reviews for any length of time ( and really, why would any other option be acceptable?) you know that we are huuuuuuge fans of the Royal Rumble, dating back to when we were little Cewshs. As a result, every year when this beloved event rolls around we roll out the red carpet in kind and give this bad boy the love and attention it deserves. We have a guest reviewer covering this year’s installment of what is possibly the biggest single match in the wrestling year, and he is that incorrigible Royal Rumble historian himself, Michael C. He is the Howard Finkel of our reviews, and with him dropping knowledge on you, dear readers, you wont miss a thing.

Any words, Michael?

MichaelC: Wow, I’m back in a Cewsh Review. I’d like to thank all my fans who cheered for my return. I don’t know how I’d have done it without [strike]me[/strike] you.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom V

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents…

 

NJPW WRESTLE KINGDOM V

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews know to cause Frostbite (heh, get it), Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as the reason I’m making cold related puns is because we’ve got our very own Puro Pal Defrost in the house tonight as we tackle the biggest Japanese wrestling show of the year, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom V. For those of you Cewshkateers who have followed us from the very beginning, you will remember that this is the 3rd year in a row that we have reviewed the very greatest that our neighbors to the Far East have to offer, and each year it sets the benchmark for greatness in wrestling that every other promotion in the world strives to compete with. With any luck this will be no different and Defrost will be here to make sure none of us misses a beat.

So what are we waiting for? This is Wrestle Kingdom night motherfuckers! Put on your best suit, grab a date (immediate family members not allowed), and prepare for a classy evening of having your socks lariated off. Its puro time!

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »