Wrestlemania 29 Preview

Hey boys and girls. So I hear that there's this big show coming up tomorrow. Kind of sort of the biggest wrestling show of the year or something? Well as odd as it might be to think of for some of us, not everyone follows the Road To Wrestlemania with the level of scrutiny and poetic craftsmanship as we do, and they might be looking at this card wondering what in the hell is going on and why they should care.

"Seriously, Is This More Of A Nacho Cheese Show, Or A Cool Ranch Show?"

As professional blog journalists, we've made it our goal to be there for you in times of great strife and uncertainty, just like this one. But while we could easily bang out 10,000 words about why Big E Langston's pecs look like someone stuffed watermelon in sideways and covered it with balloons; we're going to take this opportunity to highlight a terrific up and coming blogger named G9Z as he leads us through the Wrestlemania build up for some of the biggest matches, and gives you his thoughts on who will win and why. This guy is no joke, and we consider his blog, (which you will read by clicking on this link BECAUSE I SAID SO,) to be the more respectable brother to Cewsh Reviews. He'll be examining the match ups this year based on the guys with prior performances, and how they got here. So now I'll leave you in G9Z's capable hands, and go drink myself into the kind of stupor normally reserved for back to back TNA shows. God I love delegating.

To Be Continued »

The Wrestlemania 27 Preview Spectacular

Welcome, cats and kittens, to our little ditty of a preview special for the biggest wrestling show of the calender year, Wrestlemania.  Now before anything else, believe me, I know what you're thinking.  "Oh man, c'mon Cewsh, everyone and their one legged mother does a Wrestlemania Preview.  You'll say who you think will win, who you think SHOULD win, and probably crack some bad jokes about how Snookie is the downfall of the wrestling industry."  Well that is very astute, dear reader, as that is what many of our peers do very much indeed.  But in case you haven't noticed, we here at the Cewsh Reviews do things a little differently.  Yes indeed, we will talk about the matches, but we're going to give you the skinny on the backstories to these little beauties and catch you up on anything you missed along the Road.  Yes, we will predict the shows, but we will use the best in predictive equipment, including actual software, a goddamned cat and whatever the hell batshit system Vice has worked out for us this year.  And of course, then there's Sakura, the Psychic Cat.

So if you're ready to delve into a preview world that makes all the others look totally lame (with all due respect), then buckle your seat belts to spare us the lawsuits, and take the fucking plunge.

To Be Continued »

The CRSMUTDC2 Match Drawing

 Okay boys and girls, the time is here. Vice, Deewun and I are in the process of setting up for the big CRIHAOCSMUTDC2: EB Match Drawing Chattacular. What we're going to do is we'll all three be chatting together as Vice draws the matches from Optimash Prime and i'll post the drawings, the person who picked it, and our reactions to them, so you can find out just how much we hate you all for torturing us.

Before that occurs though (because we're still waiting on Deewun) I have a big Cewsh Reviews related announcement to make.

After discussing it with Rajah himself, starting at Wrestlemania, you will now be able to read Cewsh Reviews on the main page of Rajah.com.

There wont be any pictures, naturally, so it wont be as totally batshit awesome as the reviews you know and love, but you'll still be getting them here on the blog as well. Just many MORE of you will be getting them now, and with any luck more eyes will be headed our way in the near future.

But that's for then and this is for now.  So without any further ado, here are the matches submitted by you!

To Be Continued »

The Wrestlemania 26 Preview Spectacular

Welcome Cewsh Reviewiphiles, to the one and only Cewsh Reviews Wrestlemania Preview Spectacular!

Well here we all are at last, on the very doorstep of the Showcase of the Immortals, WWE Wrestlemania XXVI. It’s been a long fun road to get here to the culmination of both the wrestling industry’s year and ours as well, and like any good final boss battle, this bad boy is going to require the proper amount of preparation and consideration. There will be plenty of that here as I run down all of the matches for you, taking a look at who has momentum, who is due for a great match, and who has the best hair, (not Sheamus.)

But if that was all we were here for, we’d be rotten party hosts, so we’re also all going to be predicting the winners of each match in our own ways. I’ll be using a fancy computer simulation to predict the winner, Ms. Cewsh will be utilizing our unsuspecting cat to divine the future, and Vice watched a lot of porn. Apparently these random and assorted methods are meant to determine how the show will shake out. How will porn and cats (hopefully not used together) divine the future?

Err…I better let them explain.

To Be Continued »