The 2nd Annual CR Year End Awards

Welcome cats and kittens to the second annual Cewsh Reviews End Of Year Awards extravaganza. Now if you're a good little member of the Vice Brigade, you already read Ms. Cewsh's awards last week and got an idea for how this sort of thing goes, but just in case, here's a refresher We've reviewed dozens of matches and shows from all over the world this year to come to these conclusions, so if you were wondering whether or not we pulled them entirely out of our asses, we didn't.  Except for where we did.

The basic idea, for those of you late to the party, is that all three of us will use the same awards from the first two categories (Good and Bad), and then go off on whatever wackiness we want for the final category (The aptly named Tanooki). The complicated bits are the Best and Worst Male and Female Wrestler of the Year, Best and Worst Tag Team, and More Impressive and Most Disappointing awards, so listen up. I took the scores I gave every single match had this year, and averaged the scores of every eligible wrestler. To become eligible you must have wrestled at least 3 matches that we reviewed.

By the end of the process there were over 74 candidates for Best and Worst, and you can do the math for yourself (or wait until then end where I will list the cumulative score of every candidate). The wrestlers are ranked in order by the their average scores from the Best of the Year, to the bitter end.

Alright, everybody good? Nobody fall asleep during that? Well then let's let down the curtains, fire up the band, and get this jungle party started, motherfuckers!

To Be Continued »

Ms.Cewsh's 2010 Year End Awards

Mrs. Cewsh: Oh kittens, where has the year gone? It seems like just yesterday I was making up my 2009 spreadsheet, cursing the fact that I did like 5 whole shows! I mean GOD, why would anyone willingly review all of this? 

Well I reviewed a lot more than five shows this year, and most of them were willingly. It's been a pretty good year, both personally, professionally, and whatever this is. I went to my first live event, saw some older things I never got to experience, and had to watch TNA. So, without further ado, let's get onto the first of the annual year end awards, mine!

To Be Continued »

WWE TLC 2010

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Tables, Ladders and Chairs 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the newly matrimonied Cewsh Reviews! At long last, children, Mr. and Ms. Cewsh have tied the knot and made you all legitimate, and in doing so have been woefully absent from Cewsh Reviews Headquarters of late. Well that all stops now as we make our grand return as husband and wife to review WWE’s last PPV of the year, WWE TLC 2010! But if you think we’re any more likely to agree or be good tempered should this happen to be a bad or controversial show, then think again, because WWE has seen turbulent waters lately. From the extremely controversial non departure of John Cena, to the rise of the Miz to the main event, to the continuance of Kofi Kingston to have a job, there is more than enough to raise ire here. So let’s not keep you any longer from those rich shores and let’s get on with it!

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Turning Point 2010

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents…

TNA Turning Point 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the late, great review that makes you wait, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we heard down to Orlando Florida for a little shindig called TNA Turning Point 2010! Well Immortal has taken over, and the TNA landscape is pretty hopeless for any of the good guys now. Jeff Hardy, Abyss, Hulk Hogan, Eric Bischoff, Jeff Jarrett and Fortune have joined forces into a supergroup of unheard of scale and they have wrested control of TNA from the hands of Dixie Carter. With the sky dark and the prospects looking grim, can any blow be successfully struck against Immortal? Or will they continue to run rampant over TNA, and make it their own for good. And how the hell is Jeff Hardy supposed to be a bad guy anyway? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Bragging Rights 2010

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Bragging Rights 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviews so nice I’ve gotta say it twice, Cewsh Reviews, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we witness the epic, all deciding clash between the two largest brands in wrestling today. Has TNA invaded WWE? Has Japan finally combined into one super company? Has some new promotion entered the fray with Paul Heyman riding a unicorn out front? Well no, actually it is WWE Bragging Rights 2010, and Raw and Smackdown are locking horns once again to determine which brand is superior, and who will get the prestigious Bragging Rights trophy. Will Raw’s team, led by the Miz, make up for Big Show’s betrayal and claim their stake as the number 1 show in WWE? Or will Smackdown, led by The Big Show, repeat last year’s shocking performance and take home the gol…err…silver? Plastic. Take home the plastic.

All that and we have Nexus swirling around behind the scenes with designs of the WWE title, and, oh yeah, somebody is going to be MURDERED ON THIS SHOW. Oh yeah, and it won’t even be the main event. THAT’S how nuts this show is. So kick back, relax, and snuggle up to your Ultimate Warrior pillow, it’s time to get buck. Whatever that means.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Bound For Glory 2010

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents….

TNA Bound For Glory 2010

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the thingiest thing of the thing, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, and for once I well and truly mean it, as we saddle on up for the second biggest wrestling show of the year, TNA’s Bound For Glory 2010! Now there are a lot of big wrestling shows during the course of the year. Hell WWE has 4 that could be said to be bigger than anything else in the wrestling world, and NJPW would surely have a ballot to cast in the “second biggest show of the year” sweepstakes. But for my money I look to TNA, the second biggest promotion in America, and the company that seems constantly on the cusp of a major breakthrough (or miserable failure, depending on the day). So we are here to honor them at their biggest show, and in order to do so we have assembled a motley crew of seasoned reviewing professionals.

We have Vice, recently off of a stint in a Vietnamese prison camp. What was he learning there? Unstoppable techniques! Ms. Cewsh, on the other hand, is a deadly assassin trained by the government to mercy kill any and all examples of sexism, chauvinism, or ugly shoes. Then we have Matthew, the wildcard. He’s a burly fighter from the great state of New York who is looking for a rumble or a good time, whichever his fists find first. At the core of the whole thing is me, Cewsh, the dashing ringleader. And together we’re going to show Bound For Glory how we do things around these parts. So stand back, civilians. We’re trained professionals. In fact, we’re the A-Team.

The B-Team consists of my cat and a blow up doll we found in the woods.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Night of Champions 2010

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Night Of Champions 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment to the verily gilded Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as World Wrestling Entertainment lifts the gold curtain and rolls out the red velvet for a one of a kind event, the Night of Champions. This is the one night of the year where we are guaranteed to see every single title on the line, and not only that, but we have ourselves a unification match, a 6 pack challenge, and match theoretically being contested over the copyright to some fictional magical powers. Add into that a special attraction match that is very attractive (Punk says rawr), a United States championship match I would have kicked myself in the nuts for suggesting 5 years ago, and a tag team title gauntlet, and you’ve got the makings of a very special show. That is, if they can actually put it together. Will this show go down in a spectacular glittery ball of flames like last year’s, or will it realize it’s potential as we plunge on towards the Road to Wrestlemania? There’s only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The Shimmer Volume 33-36 Wrap Up Spectacular

Mrs. Cewsh: Good evening kittens, are you all tuckered out? Cewsh and I certainly are, for we've spent the whole weekend at SHIMMER! It was seriously the most fun, exciting thing I've done as a wrestling fan and I'm going to share! There will be HUGE MAJOR SPOILERS. I am not kidding. There will also be pictures! Everyone loves pictures!

So without further ado, let's do a family friendly, (except for Leva's entrance music,) supplement!

To Be Continued »

Shimmer Volume 33

Shimmer Women Athletes Proudly Presents…

Shimmer Volume 33

Mrs.Cewsh: Oh ducklings, we're home! We're back to that magic land of good wrestling, compelling storylines, and pictures of the wrestlers that won't get us TOSed. We're back for another Shimmer show, dears, and it's going to be awesome. Why is this show awesome? Because we're on it! Sort of.

Volume 33 marks the first of the four tapings that Cewsh and I went to back in September. You may recall that we were very high on the experience and the resulting matches. Let's see if they translated well to a taped product, shall we? (And in case you actually did want to play spot the Cewshes, I'm the brunette with glasses and the neon blue Ninjas shirt in the back left from hard camera. Cewsh would be the one making funny faces next to me.)

The Shimmer landscape was turned upside down on the taping before this, as Madison Eagles ended MsChif's almost two year reign to become the third ever Shimmer Champion. Even worse, MsChif suffered a shoulder injury warming up and had to miss her first ever Shimmer shows. What will this do to the main event landscape? Will the shows cease to exist without the Chif? I know, you should find out.

So, without further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA No Surrender 2010

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA NO SURRENDER 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of your very favorite stock option advice resource, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we head on down to Florida for TNA's No Surrender 2010 PPV, and let me tell you, we are hyped. For many wrestling fans WWE is the only game in town, so they know well the phenomenon of the Road To Wrestlemania, the three months leading from the Royal Rumble to Wrestlemania. Well TNA doesn't have a road, persay, but it's safe to say that we are on the dirt road clogged with hillbillies selling moonshine out of the back of their broken down pick up trucks of Bound For Glory. TNA's show of shows is one month away, and after the major shakeup of recent weeks, with the invasion of EC...EV 2,0 and the reinvasion of Fortune, not to mention the vacant World Championship after Rob Van Dam was forced to vacate (because they used up all of the dates on his contract a month before their biggest show of the year), things are getting crazy. So how will this show do at getting us hyped for the big time next month? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »