The 4th Annual CR Year End Awards

Welcome cats and kittens to the fourth annual Cewsh Reviews End of Year Awards. As we ring in the 5th (!) year of Cewsh Reviews, it only makes sense to take a look back on the things that defined the past year. There were incredible matches that took your breath away, shocking moments that tested the narrative truth of jaws actually hitting floors, and things that were so goddamn awful that my I've been using the rag they gave me to power my coffee maker for months now. So despite the fact that we're almost a month into the new year, (I was in a coma after knife fighting a wildebeest ) tonight we'll celebrate the best and worst of it all, and put 2012 to rest in the most dignified way possible.

NOT HELPFUL, TNA.

Now, if you've read our end of year awards before, you already know that we don't do things like any old wrestling blog off the street. Oh no, we use math. And through the use of this ancient and mysterious method, we'll see just who was REALLY the best, worst and Tanookiest of them all. How can math help us after all the times it betrayed us in school? Well...

To Be Continued »

The 3rd Annual CR Year End Awards

Welcome cats and kittens to the third annual Cewsh Reviews End of Year Awards.  Quite a bit has happened to Cewsh Reviews in the past year, from getting on the Rajah mainpage to finding a dollar on the sidewalk that we bought a Snickers with and everything in between.  So now we'll take this time to look back on the year that was, now that we're a few weeks safely removed from it.  So what sets our end of year awards apart from the ones you were endlessly spammed with in December?  Simple.  SCIENCE!

Famous Last Words.

Each match that we reviewed this year was compiled and averaged out to determine the score for each wrestler's full year.  We only included wrestlers who had at least 3 matches this year that we reviewed, and for the purposes of these awards we used my (meaning Cewsh's) ratings.  For reference, anyone recieving a cumulative average score of 60 - 69 is considered to have passed in terms of having been part of enjoyable matches in the past year.  An average of 70 - 79 means that your matches were consistently good, if not particularly special, and a score of 80 - 89 means you had really good to great matches so consistently that your entire year qualifies for a Download Seal of Approval.  Should anyone crest the diamond mountains of the 90 - 100 range, it should probably go without saying that they are some kind of goddamn sorcerer.

Alright, everybody good? Nobody fall asleep during that? Well then let's let down the curtains, fire up the band, and get this jungle party started!

To Be Continued »

The 2nd Annual CR Year End Awards

Welcome cats and kittens to the second annual Cewsh Reviews End Of Year Awards extravaganza. Now if you're a good little member of the Vice Brigade, you already read Ms. Cewsh's awards last week and got an idea for how this sort of thing goes, but just in case, here's a refresher We've reviewed dozens of matches and shows from all over the world this year to come to these conclusions, so if you were wondering whether or not we pulled them entirely out of our asses, we didn't.  Except for where we did.

The basic idea, for those of you late to the party, is that all three of us will use the same awards from the first two categories (Good and Bad), and then go off on whatever wackiness we want for the final category (The aptly named Tanooki). The complicated bits are the Best and Worst Male and Female Wrestler of the Year, Best and Worst Tag Team, and More Impressive and Most Disappointing awards, so listen up. I took the scores I gave every single match had this year, and averaged the scores of every eligible wrestler. To become eligible you must have wrestled at least 3 matches that we reviewed.

By the end of the process there were over 74 candidates for Best and Worst, and you can do the math for yourself (or wait until then end where I will list the cumulative score of every candidate). The wrestlers are ranked in order by the their average scores from the Best of the Year, to the bitter end.

Alright, everybody good? Nobody fall asleep during that? Well then let's let down the curtains, fire up the band, and get this jungle party started, motherfuckers!

To Be Continued »

Ms.Cewsh's 2010 Year End Awards

Mrs. Cewsh: Oh kittens, where has the year gone? It seems like just yesterday I was making up my 2009 spreadsheet, cursing the fact that I did like 5 whole shows! I mean GOD, why would anyone willingly review all of this? 

Well I reviewed a lot more than five shows this year, and most of them were willingly. It's been a pretty good year, both personally, professionally, and whatever this is. I went to my first live event, saw some older things I never got to experience, and had to watch TNA. So, without further ado, let's get onto the first of the annual year end awards, mine!

To Be Continued »

The 1st Annual CR Year End Awards

Welcome cats and kittens to the very first annual Cewsh Reviews End Of Year Awards extravaganza. Now if you're a good little member of the Vice Brigade, you already read Ms. Cewsh's awards last week and got an idea for how this sort of thing goes, but just in case, here's a refresher We've reviewed dozens of matches and shows from all over the world this year to come to these conclusions, so if you were wondering whether or not we pulled them entirely out of our asses, well, probably not. You know, depending on whether or not we were feeling lazy that day.

The basic idea, for those of you late to the party, is that all three of us will use the same awards from the first two categories (Good and Bad), and then go off on whatever wackiness we want for the final category (The aptly named Tanooki). The complicated bits are the Best and Worst Wrestler of the Year awards, so listen up. I took the scores I gave every single match had this year, and averaged the scores of every eligible wrestler. To become eligible you must have wrestled at least 3 matches that we reviewed.

By the end of the process there were over 140 candidates for Best and Worst, and you can do the math for yourself by downloading this handy copy of the scoring sheet. The wrestlers are ranked in order by the their average scores from the Best of the Year, to the bitter end.

CLICK ME! I'll Be Your Best Friend!

Alright, everybody good? Nobody fall asleep during that? Well then let's let down the curtains, fire up the band, and get this jungle party started, motherfuckers!

The Good:

(Best Reviewed) Match of the Year:

John Cena vs. Edge - Last Man Standing - WWE Backlash

Favorite Match of the Year:

Legacy vs. D-Generation X - WWE Summerslam

Wrestler of the Year:
Hiroshi Tanahashi

Favorite Wrestler of the Year:

CM Punk

Diva of the Year:

Tara

Favorite Diva of the Year:

Beth Phoenix

Show of the Year:

WWE No Way Out

Best Mic Skills of the Year:
CM Punk

Best Gimmick of the Year:

"The Viper" Randy Orton

I Hear Voices In My Head, They Council Me, They Understand, They Talk To Me.

Best Entrance:

The Main Event Mafia

Rookie of the Year:

Drew McIntyre

The Bad:

Worst (Reviewed) Match of the Year:

Vickie Guerrero vs. Santina - Hog Pen Match - WWE Extreme Rules

Least Favorite Match of the Year:

Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton - WWE No Way Out

Worst Wrestler of the Year:

Toru Makabe

Least Favorite Wrestler of the Year:

Mick Foley

Worst Diva of the Year:

Sojourner Bolt

Least Favorite Diva of the Year:

ODB

Worst Mic Skills of the Year:

Rhino


Worst Gimmick of the Year:

"Nation of Violence" Samoa Joe


Worst Entrance of the Year:

Matt Hardy

Veteran Most in Need of Retirement:

Sting (Better Late Than Never)


The Tanooki

Best Vice and Cewsh Impersonators:

Masada and Tank


Gif of The Year

Michelle McCool Pwns Melina


Err...Other Gif Of The Year

Jenna Morrasca Pwns All Males In the Viewing Audience


Best Excuse Vice Gave Me This Year:

The Midgar Zolom Steals Vice


Best Picture We Used Even Though It Made No Sense.

Kittens Rule


Moment of the Year

Us Reviewing This Without Killing Ourselves.

Alright, that'll do it for me this year, kiddos. Stay tuned next week for Vice's Awards Gala, and stayed tuned through the year to come for some new ideas, some crazy shows, and an endless supply of wit and wisdom from your beloved Cewsh Reviews staff. So from all of us here at the Headquarters, we wish you a Happy Holidays and an exciting New Year.

And cake. Fucking right we wish you cake.

Mrs.Cewsh's 2009 Year End Awards

Welcome ducklings another fine Sunday Supplement. We here at the Cewsh Reviews team love something very much. It's not breasts, or silly nicknames, or John Cena matches. It's lists. And with three weeks left until the end of the year, I am pleased to bring you the first of a three part SS series, the Cewsh Reviews Team's End of Year Awards. Please insert your own fanfare and pyro here, the recession hurts all of us.

Starting with moi, we will each bring you a variety best/worst/favorite/least favorite moments from the past 12 months. Some are obvious. Some are silly. Some will feature cats. Keep in mind, we all watch and review different things, and our journalistic integrity keeps us from factoring in shows we haven't seen. Even though I've watched Vice's Need to Bleed video enough times I can play in in my mind, Ian Rotten won't factor into my list. Got it? Good.

(For my best/worst matches and wrestlers, I disqualified the time I gave a match a -5, as well as the time I gave a match a 120/100. R-Truth was the worst and Shelton was the wrestler of the year. Yeah, I'll work on that in the future.)

With that in mind, lets do a mother-fucking awards show!

To Be Continued »