ROG The Great Commission

Ring of Glory Wrestling Proudly Presents…

ROG The Great Commission

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the wrestling blog that puts the “holy” in “holier than thou”, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have found in our grand search of the internet, a show that cried out to be reviewed like perhaps none other that we have ever seen. That’s right, tonight we’re reviewing the one and only show ever put on by Vince Russo’s Christian wrestling company, Ring of Glory. Now, if there’s one thing we want to make clear right off the top it’s this. I know that we have many Christian readers, and the intent of this review is not to mock Christianity or make you feel uncomfortable about how your faith is being treated in any way. Your faith is your business, and none of ours. However what we WILL do, is see just exactly what kind of bizarre circus a Vince Russo booked religious wrestling show will turn into, especially when the biggest star on it is X-Pac of all people. So if you feel like you’re likely to be offended by our review and (let’s be honest) open mockery of this show, then by all means stop reading here, and we’ll respect that decision. For everybody else, we’re going to have a fine old time, and to do so we’ll not only have Mrs. Cewsh on board, but also her sister, the Turnip Queen from last year's Summerslam review, who will be watching her very first wrestling show outside of the WWE. It’s too late to pity her, the damage is already done.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Great American Bash 2004

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Great American Bash 2004

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that have a time machine that only goes back 9 years, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we review an absolute masterpiece from the recent past, WWE Great American Bash 2004. Recently we here at Cewsh Reviews Headquarters realized that we were spending a lot of time reviewing shows that were, well, good. Or at the very least mediocre. It turns out that it has been an awfully long time since we reviewed a show that we knew full well would be hysterically atrocious, and that's just not fair to you readers. So we dropped everything and eagerly looked for a terrible show to sate our snarky appetites.

Initially we considered the rich tapestry of WCW failure, and we'll get back to them don't worry, but eventually we settled on this show. Oh this show. If you don't know what the card for this show is, I urge you not to look it up, and instead to just follow along with me as we explore 3 hours of something that WWE actually charged people money for. I promise, promise, promise you will not be disappointed. Unless you appeared on the show, in which case you might want to just go on repressing those memories.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NOAH Departure 2004

Cewsh: This is DDT's debut as a first run contributor to Cewsh Reviews and he had been begging me for months to review this show. Once we finally did I could definitely see why. (And if you want to meet DDT and see what a wrestling fan that is also a physicist looks like, attend any Shimmer show. He'll be the skinny one talking about the complexities of the Japanese independent scene.)

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Pro Wrestling NOAH Proudly Presents…

NOAH Departure 2004

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that take a lariat from Kobashi and live to tell the tale, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we travel back to our very first classic show outside of American borders. The reason for the occasion, you ask? Well just a little thing called KENTA FUCKING KOBASHI. Also other various things that have names I’d be more than happy to put into caps and yell at you, but the point is that this was an exciting show by any standards, even for people are aren’t conventional fans of Japanese wrestling. Here we have the conclusion to a rivalry between two of Japan’s biggest stars 5 years in the making, an appearance by my favorite tag team in wrestling history, and generally a card loaded up with the pick of the litter back when NOAH was the hottest promotion on the planet hosted in the historic Tokyo Dome. How does this all play out? How did NOAH fall apart from here? Where are they now? To answer these questions and gives all the backstory your heart can desire, we’ve brought in noted Pro Wrestling historian DDT. Any thoughts DDT?


DDT: Pro Wrestling NOAH from 2000 to 2006 was quite possibly the greatest wrestling promotion on Earth in terms of match quality and “big fight feels”. They were what all the American Indy’s tried to copy, and what all big Japan promotions wanted to be. Eventually, they squandered that with lack of building stars and poor booking, but those six years were jaw-dropping amazing, and still remain a sight to behold. So what are we waiting for, mon capitan? Let’s do a motherfucking review!


Cewsh: Whoa. Bro, BRO.


DDT: Yeah, I stole your line. Deal with it.

To Be Continued »

WWE Wrestlemania XIX

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania XIX

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that spend more time in the past than a your grandfather, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we do our final review in the lead up to the biggest show of the year, Wrestlemania 30. As usual, our final review before the big one has to be a Wrestlemania from the past, so I put it to you, the Cewsh Reviews faithful, to choose which one you wanted to see. And when the dust settled, the overwhelming winner was Wrestlemania 19, and I assume because this is the only Wrestlemania where someone gets hit with a frying pan. Oh wait, that's 18? You guys have weird priorities. Anyway, now we'll tackle the show that gave us the conclusion to one of the greatest feuds in Wrestling history, the match that will forever be held against Triple H's legacy and quite possibly the worst Wrestlemania match of the Undertaker's career, (yes, including the Giant Gonzales one.) And let's not forget about Version 1, a retirement match, a big man going splat, some half naked ladies and so much more.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2002

Cewsh: This show is really, really fucking good. Seriously, that's what you need to take away from this. We were just trying to get out of its way.

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World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Summerslam 2002

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only review team with a functioning time machine, Cewsh Reviews. We have a special treat for you this week, as we’ve taken the aforementioned time machine, and let the denizens of our favorite wrestling discussion forum, Rajah.com, choose the destination. Earlier this year they voted on the Best Show of the Decade, and the winner wound up being Wrestlemania XVII. Since we were already totally saving that for another time, we instead took at look at the runner up, and were surprised to find that it was one of the first shows that Vice and I ever watched together. Inspired by this mixture of nostalgia and selfishness, we chose that show, which turned out to be WWE Summerslam 2002.

Now aside from Vice and I having seen it when we were adorable little marky marks, this show has a lot to recommend it. Not only does it have one of the most stacked sounding undercards in wrestling history, but it also features the in ring return of Shawn Michaels against his former best friend turned enemy Triple H, and the rise of a young man named Brock Lesnar to prominence, as he faces the Rock for his first chance at WWE Heavyweight gold. It’s a big fucking show, that sounds even bigger, and with the nostalgia train going full throttle, it ought to be damn fun to stand on the tracks. Unless you don’t like that sort of thing. In which case you can stand aside and wait for the lame, nancyboy train, which should be arriving at eleven.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Vengeance 2001

Cewsh: The One Where Vice Explains How This Show Is Responsible For Our Friendship And, Subsequently, For Cewsh Reviews.

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The World Wrestling Federation Proudly Presents...

WWF Vengeance 2001

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the review team with so many plaques that we have gingivitis, Cewsh Reviews! And boy do we have a special SPECIAL treat for you tonight, boys and girls. See, you may recall me announcing that yesterday’s review of WWE over the Limit 2011 was the launch of something that we are calling the Cewsh Reviews Comeback Tour Week of Debaucherous Musing and Precipitous Bruisings. In typical Cewsh Reviews fashion these are a bunch of awesome words strung together to basically mean that we’ve been very much absent of late what with one thing and another, and to prove to you that we aren’t going to way of the dodo like so many internet projects do when they take their first “hiatus” we’re throwing down a massive gauntlet to crank out 5 reviews in 7 days. Insane? Yes. Suicidal? Yes. Awesome? FUCK YEAH.

Tonight’s entry into that collection of reviews is going to be a bit different from our usual fare. See, it has come to our attention that there is great young reviewing talent all over these great internets of ours, with a sharp wit and interesting insight, that is just being wasted being scrolled by on message boards all over the place. This is bullshit. So from time to time we may tap some of these up and comers to come here and show you what they have to offer. Who knows, maybe one day they’ll be way more popular than us and we’ll be riding their coattails, begging for scraps (unlikely). So tonight is the beginning of that, as we take two great, but unknown, people from the sea of the IWC and turn them loose on you dear readers to cover the crowning of the first ever WWE Undisputed Champion. Here marks the debut of Kyle 242 and Psycho Soldier.

Don’t worry. I’ll be there to make sure there’s no bad touch.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE King of the Ring 2001

The World Wrestling Federation Proudly Presents...

WWF King of the Ring 2001

Welcome, cats and kittens to another installment of Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have actually managed to find a working keyboard and operate it well enough to publish a review! Surprise! This time around, we're reviewing another classic show, and this one is a personal favorite from back in the archives, WWE King of the Ring 2001! Gasp, as you see the death defying antics of Shane McMahon and Kurt Angle! Cheer as you see a new King of the Ring crowned! Frown confusedly as you try to make sense of the first PPV of the Invasion angle! It all happens here!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Invasion 2001

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWF Invasion 2001

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the ongoingly zombified Cewsh Reviews. This week your intrepid Cewsh Reviews team has battled the plague to be here today, and Vice’s romantic evening with a champion pig and the Midgar Zolom resulted in his having a sickness that could be best described as “fucking insane”. Despite this, however, he has manned up to give you some sweet review loving, and I got over my stubbed toe (it was the pinky toe!) to do the same. Which is good, because this week we’re tackling a doozy, as we travel back in time to the year 2001 to cast our judgment on WWE’s Invasion.

When the natural invasion of WCW and ECW began, the entire wrestling world was buzzing with the possibilities inherent. Goldberg/Austin? Flair/Rock? Funaki/Lodi? The possibilities seemed endless. Then, when the smoke cleared, things hadn’t gone exactly the way that people wanted, and to this day the whole thing is thought of as one of the biggest failures in the history of professional wrestling. All the critics have had their say for years. Now its time to shine a light on the truth about Invasion.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

IGW Rodman Down Under

Cewsh: This entire review was written on my honeymoon in Alaska where somehow ancient bacteria frozen beneath the Earth thawed and rose to the surface with the sole intention of making me so ill that my eyelids hurt. Trying to watch Dennis Rodman wrestle during that isn't what you would call appropriate physical therapy, but I muscled through because I'm a goddamn journalist.

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I Generation Wrestling Proudly Presents...

IGW Rodman Down Under

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the defective directive detectives, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as thanks to our very own Cewsh Reviews superfan takerson, we have laid our hands on a piece of wrestling history so buried in the sands of time that few may even be aware of its existence. This sacred tomb, which happens to sound like porn, is IGW Rodman Down Under, as this titular promotion runs a show with Dennis Rodman in the main event up against the legendary Curt Hennig, with a ton of other recognizable faces doing their best to not be recognized along the way as they take over Australia for one night of debaucherous wrestling like only the Worm can do it. Will this show be every bit as terrible as it seems based on the cover? Will Dennis Rodman put on a Platinum Seal match? Will it be horribly depressing to see many of these guys just before their deaths? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Wrestlemania XVII

The World Wrestling Federation Proudly Presents...

WWF Wrestlemania X-Seven

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that have more attitude than a badger in a washing machine, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as once again we're going back in time to those almost mythical days that the ancients called 2001. And what sends us tumbling back through the time void this week? Why, we're here to review what many consider to be the greatest wrestling show ever to take place, Wrestlemania X-Seven! Now, there are a lot of things about Wrestlemania X-Seven that people remember fondly, whether it be Rock vs. Austin, TLC II, or the instant classic of Eddie Guerrero vs. Test. But the real reason we're here today is to investigate exactly what this show looks like in the cold light of 2013. Will the show hold up as the grand spectacle we all remember so fondly, even as Wrestlemanias after it became more grandiose? Will the show's style still be so lovable 12 year removed from the Attitude Era? And will the comparisons drawn between Cena/Rock II and Austin/Rock II hold any water? There's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »