WSU 4th Anniversary Show

Women Superstars Uncensored Proudly Presents…

WSU 4th Anniversary Show

Hello ducklings and welcome to a very exciting review. As has become tradition, if Mrs. Cewsh is hosting, we must be watching women beat the hell out of each other. Tonight is no exception, as we depart from the safe, comforting shores of Shimmer to sail across the country to Cewsh's favorite state, New Jersey!

Women Superstars Uncensored, or WSU, is Shimmer's main competition in the US. This show marks their 4th anniversary, so they're sure to pull out all the stops. They'll be some familiar faces, some new, and even some we wish we'd forgotten. What are Uncensored rules? Who announces for this place? Who gave Jazz a run in 2011? No, seriously, we don't know. You'll have to read along and find out with us.

So without further ado, let's do a review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Destination X 2009

Cewsh: Oh, TNA.

This is the peak of the aforementioned, "Period of Woe" from TNA, a period which was so bad that it seemed to go on and on without any hope of change or betterment. The trend would eventually curb itself, but here, we are ass deep in the pain. This show was so bad that it actually struck Vice into complete silence for an entire night. And trust me, when you get to that point in the show, you'll know why.

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TNA Wrestling Proudly Presents:

TNA DESTINATION X 2009

Welcome once again, cats and kittens, to the crème de la crème of wrestling reviews. Today we have a special treat for you all, a TNA show. Woooooo! In all seriousness, there really isn’t a ton to be excited about here. We have, thus far in our time reviewing, (6 month anniversary coming up in April!) never enjoyed a TNA show. We have, if I’m not mistaken, never even given a TNA show a rating that would do IWA:MS proud. They’ve been lackluster shows, filled with lackluster matches, performed by misused and underwhelming talent, for the most part. But I feel something in the air today, boys and girls. I feel a lightness in my heart and a spring in my step. Maybe this time, THIS TIME, TNA will throw off the shackles of convention and actually provide us with a show that we can be proud of; that we can stand up, head held high, and proudly announce that Cewsh Reviews…approves of TNA.

It’s a nice dream. But if it’s all the same to you, I’ll just go ahead and prepare the scathing snark. I get the feeling it just might come in handy.

Note: This is about 24 hours late. We considered rushing it to get it in on time, but instead we chose to exhibit the same professionalism and interest in our fan's enjoyment that TNA has. Enjoy!

To Be Continued »

PWG Express Written Consent

Pro Wrestling Guerrilla Proudly Presents…

PWG EXPRESS WRITTEN CONSENT

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of David Lee Roth’s favorite wrestling review blog (its possible), Cewsh Reviews… Today we have a special treat for you, as your favorite uncles Cewsh and Vice reach into their sack of presents and withdrawal an American Indy review, this time of California’s own Pro Wrestling Guerrilla.

Hey wait! Where are you going?!

Come back, come back. Easy there. I know that you’ve been burned before in the past when Cewsh Reviews has covered the indies. From the soul crushing whiny depression of the King of the Deathmatches tournament in IWA:MS, to the complete ho hum snoozefest of our Ring of Honor reviews, the independent scene hasn’t been kind to you lately, and I completely understand you reservations. However, this isn’t any old show. We’re talking California here, we’re talking fun and wackiness, and we are most assuredly talking about the once in a lifetime team up of the Young Bucks (Cewsh and Vice’s early choice for Tag Team of the Year) and Paul fucking London. Not to mention a host of other familiar names, and the wacky stars of tomorrow.

So c’mon. Pop some popcorn, scooch up close to the monitor, and give us the second chance we so richly deserve. C’mon. Would I lie to you?

Well yes. But would Vice?

To Be Continued »

IWF Ground Zero 07

Insane Wrestling Federation Proudly Presents…

IWF Ground Zero 07

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the family fucking friendliest wrestling review blog in the blogosphere (whatever the fuck that is), Cewsh Review! Tonight we’ve got a special treat for you, that is both intriguing and a little bit shocking. Why, you ask? Because we, your Cewsh Reviews party hosts, are actually going to review an American independent show that might not suck. That’s right. We’re reviewing indy wrestling for a reason OTHER THAN MOCKING IT (probably). What could possibly bring about this insane change to our modus operandi? Simple. You guys did it. A reader named Sparky, to be specific, not only requested this show be reviewed, but went so far as to send us his physical copy of the show, thus making us feel like awesome legit reviewers, and making Sparky our Number 1 Superfan of the year. Think you can top that? Well, we do like Skittles. So, you know, bribery is always welcome.

However, I digress. We took an all expenses paid (by us) trip up to Michigan with this bad boy, to see what was up in the Wolverine state. We’ll see if these sons of mother’s have any backbone. Possibly made of adamantium.

Anyway, without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

ROG The Great Commission

Ring of Glory Wrestling Proudly Presents…

ROG The Great Commission

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the wrestling blog that puts the “holy” in “holier than thou”, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have found in our grand search of the internet, a show that cried out to be reviewed like perhaps none other that we have ever seen. That’s right, tonight we’re reviewing the one and only show ever put on by Vince Russo’s Christian wrestling company, Ring of Glory. Now, if there’s one thing we want to make clear right off the top it’s this. I know that we have many Christian readers, and the intent of this review is not to mock Christianity or make you feel uncomfortable about how your faith is being treated in any way. Your faith is your business, and none of ours. However what we WILL do, is see just exactly what kind of bizarre circus a Vince Russo booked religious wrestling show will turn into, especially when the biggest star on it is X-Pac of all people. So if you feel like you’re likely to be offended by our review and (let’s be honest) open mockery of this show, then by all means stop reading here, and we’ll respect that decision. For everybody else, we’re going to have a fine old time, and to do so we’ll not only have Mrs. Cewsh on board, but also her sister, the Turnip Queen from last year's Summerslam review, who will be watching her very first wrestling show outside of the WWE. It’s too late to pity her, the damage is already done.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Great American Bash 2004

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Great American Bash 2004

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that have a time machine that only goes back 9 years, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we review an absolute masterpiece from the recent past, WWE Great American Bash 2004. Recently we here at Cewsh Reviews Headquarters realized that we were spending a lot of time reviewing shows that were, well, good. Or at the very least mediocre. It turns out that it has been an awfully long time since we reviewed a show that we knew full well would be hysterically atrocious, and that's just not fair to you readers. So we dropped everything and eagerly looked for a terrible show to sate our snarky appetites.

Initially we considered the rich tapestry of WCW failure, and we'll get back to them don't worry, but eventually we settled on this show. Oh this show. If you don't know what the card for this show is, I urge you not to look it up, and instead to just follow along with me as we explore 3 hours of something that WWE actually charged people money for. I promise, promise, promise you will not be disappointed. Unless you appeared on the show, in which case you might want to just go on repressing those memories.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

IGW Rodman Down Under

Cewsh: This entire review was written on my honeymoon in Alaska where somehow ancient bacteria frozen beneath the Earth thawed and rose to the surface with the sole intention of making me so ill that my eyelids hurt. Trying to watch Dennis Rodman wrestle during that isn't what you would call appropriate physical therapy, but I muscled through because I'm a goddamn journalist.

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I Generation Wrestling Proudly Presents...

IGW Rodman Down Under

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the defective directive detectives, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as thanks to our very own Cewsh Reviews superfan takerson, we have laid our hands on a piece of wrestling history so buried in the sands of time that few may even be aware of its existence. This sacred tomb, which happens to sound like porn, is IGW Rodman Down Under, as this titular promotion runs a show with Dennis Rodman in the main event up against the legendary Curt Hennig, with a ton of other recognizable faces doing their best to not be recognized along the way as they take over Australia for one night of debaucherous wrestling like only the Worm can do it. Will this show be every bit as terrible as it seems based on the cover? Will Dennis Rodman put on a Platinum Seal match? Will it be horribly depressing to see many of these guys just before their deaths? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWA Inception 2001

World Wrestling Allstars Proudly Presents...

WWA Inception 2001

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews to be banned nationwide in Uzbekistan, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we return for only the second time ever to the magical and distant land of Australia to cover the debut show of World Wrestling Allstars, WWA Inception 2001! Now you would certainly be forgiven for having never heard of WWA before, as it was never very well known in the United States, but imagine a promotion stocked to the gills with former WWE, WCW and ECW talent, running the same year that WCW ended, and booked entirely by TNA's Jeremy Borash. Yeah, exactly. What resulted was perhaps the wildest and most disparate combination of talent ever combined into one promotion, and would prove to be the spiritual predecessor to what we now know as TNA. What ALSO resulted were some shows that make most Aussies double over with laughter if you even mention them. So with all of this talent, and away from the corrupting influence of WCW, what could possibly make these shows so laughable? Well I will serve as your loyal fact finder to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »