How Hiroshi Tanahashi Saved New Japan From Itself

On October 13th 2014, Hiroshi Tanahashi defeated AJ Styles for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. In a grueling fight, he managed to beat Styles with his patented High Fly Flow and capture the most prestigious prize in Japanese wrestling for a record breaking 7th time. As he celebrated, Kazuchika Okada, the man who will challenge for his title at New Japan's premier event of the year, Wrestle Kingdom IX, strode to the ring. The two went face to face, and a buzz rose from the 9,000 people clustered around them in Ryougoku Sumo Hall. For the 5th consecutive year, (and 7th out of 8,) the man known as the Ace of the Universe would fight for the biggest title, on the biggest show, for the biggest promotion in his homeland. For the 8th time, he would face Okada, the transcendent star that he made a household name. And for perhaps the final time, he would lead New Japan into uncharted territory, as the face of a wrestling revolution that seeks to take the United States by storm.

As both men posed for the audience, Tanahashi's legion of fans drowned out the shouts from the Okada faithful, driving Okada from the ring. And that left Tanahashi alone in the ring at the end of the show for about the millionth time, posing with the title he rescued from obscurity, shining in the lights like a golden lion.

To Be Continued »

Dear Randy Savage

Dear Randy Savage,

Hi Mr. Savage.  My name is Cewsh.  I'm sure you don't know me (despite that one time I was totally sure I bumped into you in the bathroom of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Rock Concert in the early 90s) but in case you weren't aware you passed away recently, and before you left for good I wanted to send you a letter to let you know what you've meant to me over the years.  You may have more important things to do at the moment like choosing a cool house to haunt, or seeing if you can possess Hulk Hogan, but take some time aside, if you will, to go back in time with me.  I promise we wont talk about the rap thing.  Honest.

To Be Continued »

NOAH Great Voyage In Osaka (Misawa Tribute 2)

Pro Wrestling NOAH Proudly Presents…

NOAH Great Voyage In Osaka 10.03.09

(Misawa Tribute 2)

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the SO 2009iest wrestling review blog in the land, Cewsh Reviews. Your very favorite wrestling review team is back from holiday vacation and tonight we have a special treat for you as we once again pay tribute in passing to one of the greatest wrestlers and greatest men that we have ever had the privilege to watch perform for us, Mitsuharu Misawa. I hope that this review and the one before it can help to shed some light on the life and times of this legendary figure in wrestling history, especially for those of you who are less than familiar with Japanese wrestling as a whole. The loss of Misawa was a loss for everyone who values everything that is right about professional wrestling, and though we may try, we’ll do him no justice here. All we can do is summon our resources and pay tribute to him in our small way, hoping that dick and fart jokes will somehow ease the pain of his passing. Suffice to say he is missed.

But again, all is not dark in this hour of contemplation. The ever voracious Defrost will join us yet again on this voyage to the bottom of the sea, and I will pony up by occasionally reminding you that there is a really interesting wrestling show here underneath the backdrop of Misawatude. We might make you laugh, we might make you cry, we might make you think, but at the very least we are guaranteed to make the next few minutes just a little bit awesomer than the ones before it.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking tribute review!

To Be Continued »

NOAH Great Voyage In Tokyo 2009 (Misawa Tribute 1)

Pro Wrestling NOAH Proudly Presents…

NOAH Great Voyage In Tokyo 2009
(Misawa Tribute Show 1)

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the unusually somber Cewsh Reviews. This week, and also the last week in December, we will be celebrating the life of Mitsuharu Misawa, who sadly passed away this year, leaving behind a legacy of greatness and quality of the highest order. As we’re not exactly the classiest people on the planet, we’ve chosen to do this by letting the man’s legacy, Pro Wrestling NOAH, do the tributing for us, as we review the two tribute shows they put on in his honor. We also got our good friend Defrost, who knows more about Japanese wrestling than anyone else we’ve ever met, to give some back story to the momentous career of one of the greatest wrestling careers and lives that any man could ever have, as well as telling us the stories behind the matches here, and why they are so meaningful in the wake of Misawa’s passing. His knowledge is vast, and his telling of the story is long and rewarding. Frankly, we’re all very, very fortunate to have him to tell the tale.

Never fear, though. This isn’t going to be a huge downer review. Vice and I are here to put on the old razzle dazzle and send the Emperor of King’s Road off on his final journey with the humor, pizzazz, and style he deserves. And failing that, pictures of Captain Planet and cat macros. We’re still us, after all.

See?

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »