JCW Bloodymania 7

Juggalo Championship Wrestling Proudly Presents...

JCW Bloodymania 7

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that have a harder time explaining their internet search history than your dad when he discovered internet porn, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we forgo the usual legendary classics and exciting present day shows, and instead take a look at what those wacky Jugglos were up to last year, as we review JCW Bloodymania 7! Normally, this is the part of the intro where I hype you up with an exciting preview of what is to come, but from all the feedback we've gotten over the years, just seeing the letters "JCW" up there is either going to make you click the "Read More" link so fast that you shatter the sound barrier, or cause you to delete your bookmark for this site in disgust. Either way, I respect your decision. It's about to get crazy in here, ya'll.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Wrestlemania 31

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania 31

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that think that Wrestlemania is insensitive to maniacs and should be changed to Wrestlefunforthewholefamily, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we roll out that proverbial red carpet, put on our finest evening wear, (tuxedo t shirt worn over a velvet bathrobe,) and get ready to review the most prestigious wrestling event in all the world, WWE Wrestlemania! Now, it's been a long road to the show of shows this year, with about as much controversy leading up to it as I can ever remember seeing before. From Daniel Bryan's terrible injury, shocking return, and subsequent lack of push, to the phoenix like rise of Roman Reigns against the will of many fans, to a Wrestlemania headliner who barely appears on more WWE shows than I do.

It's been a tumultuous Road to Wrestlemania, made even stranger by a build that even Vince McMahon acknowledged was thrown together at the last minute compared to shows in the past. So just what kind of show can we really expect from all this chaos? I don't have the slightest idea, but what I can tell you is that I will not be alone in this review. Now you may be expecting our regular contributors like Artie, Psycho, MichaelC, maybe even the returns of Cewsh Reviews Hall of Famers Vice and Mrs. Cewsh. Those would all be great, but we're going much bigger this year. Oh yes, you see, we listen to our fans. We've seen all your requests for your favorite guest reviewers and we tabulated it up. And so tonight, we're bringing back the three most requested guest reviewers and Cewsh Reviews history!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2015

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Royal Rumble 2015

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog that shows up less often than your dad to your Little League games, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we hop in the car, adjust the rear view mirror, put some fuzzy dice on the dash, and get ready for the road to Wrestlemania. The official beginning of that grand adventure starts right here, with the first WWE PPV of the year, WWE Royal Rumble 2015. With a spot in the main event of Wrestlemania on the line in both the Rumble match itself, and in one of the most looked forward to triple threat matches in recent memory this show is full of intrigue, potential, and even a little dash of hope. Smarks the world over are scooching closer to the screen to watch it clutching their Daniel Bryan action figures and daring to dream that this could be the day. But with the specter of Roman Reigns looming, and a card that focuses unusually on big stars, that hopeful dream seems a mile away. Can Daniel Bryan overcome the odds to become regain his spot atop WWE? Will a new star emerge amid the whirling chaos of the Rumble? Can anyone on Earth actually defeat Brock Lesnar? Join Cewsh, Artie, Psycho and our Royal Rumble professor MichaelC as we explore the only way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX

New Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that have no interest in a hoverboard because wheels work just fine, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we are finally able to get our hands on the show that we have been building to for lo these many months. I've talked about it on the Cewshcast, I've written about it all over social media and on all kinds of different sites, and our previews leading up to the show were juuuuuuust shy of being insufferably overbearing. All of that hype, anticipation and excitement has led up to one of the most important wrestling shows of the century, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom IX! Tonight we will see the culmination on an incredible feud, a compilation of talent unmatched in any promotion since the dawn of time, and also Jeff Jarrett! You'll see death defying dives, intense slugfests, and i'm going to use the phrase "dropping bombs on each other" so often that i'm going to go on watchlists all over the world. But most importantly, we're going to take a walk through Wrestle Kingdom together, as American audiences and Japanese ones join as one for the first time to ask together just what kind of adamantium skeleton does Tomohiro Ishii have anyway?

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The 2014 CRL 100 (25 - 1)

Have you ever had that feeling that you were being watched? Like a whole lot of people were hanging on your every word waiting for you to get on with revealing the top 25 of some hypothetical list that you had compiled? It's weird, right? It's almost like they're just waiting for you to say...

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to final day of our CRL 100 countdown of the very best wrestlers of 2014! We've spent months watching tape, having spirited debates and recovering from the injuries caused during those debates, and now it's time to reveal who topped the list and is taking home that prestigious photoshopped trophy. This year was the hardest ever, with the top 10 shuffling almost daily, but the consensus we arrived at is one we believed in, and if you don't like it then you can make your own god damn list. On with the show!

To Be Continued »

The 2014 CRL 100 (50 - 26)

Oh, hey there! Welcome back! Did you enjoy your last stay at the Casa De CRL? Were the wrestlers to your liking? What did you think of the stunning vistas of badassness? Well whatever brought you back here for a second taste of our yearly countdown of the best and brightest that the world of wrestling has to offer, we thank you for coming. After all, this is the part where it really starts to get good. With the first 50 behind us, we now turn our attention to the people who are really deserving of the spotlight for what they accomplished in 2014. Some came out of nowhere to thrill us with performances we never imagined we would see from them, some basically just did what they always do, but everyone in this section of the countdown is stuck in that limbo between the really good, and the truly great. But even if these guys and gals didn't manage to crack the top 25 this year, remember these names. Every single one of them has the push, talent and potential to make it all the way to the top.

Unless they work for TNA.

To Be Continued »

The 2014 CRL 100 (100 - 51)

Welcome, one and all, to part one of the unveiling of the most important list of wrestlers you'll read all year, the 2014 CRL 100! To those of you who are new to the project this year, the idea of the CRL 100 is very simple: determine the 100 wrestlers who accomplished the most, (in terms of both quality of performance and achievement in general,) and then rank them accordingly. If this sounds like an incredibly difficult and exhaustive process, that's because it is. All year long, we here at Cewsh Reviews make a point to seek out the best of every wrestling promotion in the world so we have a strong idea of who the top dogs are, and hours and hours were spent nitpicking ranking choices and trying to figure out if Rusev reeeeeeeally deserved to be ahead of ECIII. The result of all that hard work is a list of the best of the best, and something that we will proudly hold up next to any other rankings list that may be more popular but has no credibility whatsoever. You know, if something like that exists. In a magazine perhaps.

It's a big undertaking, but luckily this year I had help, as my Cewshcast compadres, Artie and Julius, joined me in making this list up. So as you read the first 50 members of this esteemed list, just remember: they're just as much to blame as I am.

To Be Continued »

How Hiroshi Tanahashi Saved New Japan From Itself

On October 13th 2014, Hiroshi Tanahashi defeated AJ Styles for the IWGP Heavyweight Championship. In a grueling fight, he managed to beat Styles with his patented High Fly Flow and capture the most prestigious prize in Japanese wrestling for a record breaking 7th time. As he celebrated, Kazuchika Okada, the man who will challenge for his title at New Japan's premier event of the year, Wrestle Kingdom IX, strode to the ring. The two went face to face, and a buzz rose from the 9,000 people clustered around them in Ryougoku Sumo Hall. For the 5th consecutive year, (and 7th out of 8,) the man known as the Ace of the Universe would fight for the biggest title, on the biggest show, for the biggest promotion in his homeland. For the 8th time, he would face Okada, the transcendent star that he made a household name. And for perhaps the final time, he would lead New Japan into uncharted territory, as the face of a wrestling revolution that seeks to take the United States by storm.

As both men posed for the audience, Tanahashi's legion of fans drowned out the shouts from the Okada faithful, driving Okada from the ring. And that left Tanahashi alone in the ring at the end of the show for about the millionth time, posing with the title he rescued from obscurity, shining in the lights like a golden lion.

To Be Continued »

CRSMUTDC4

YOU Proudly Present...

The Cewsh Reviews Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Card 4

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews who take fan interactions so seriously that they place restraining order against us, Cewsh Reviews! We have a VERY special treat for you tonight, as the time has finally come for our yearly foray into fan interaction and good time fun having. If you haven't been keeping up recently, the gist of the Dream Card is that we ask our readers to suggest any individual matches that they'd like to see us review, we put the matches in a hat, and draw out 8 matches to comprise a full card that we review like a real show. All the winners get prizes, and everyone goes home happy as a clam, (aside from the people who don't get picked, who are released back into the wild angry and intoxicated.) Every match on this show was handpicked by our readers, and therefore we take absolutely no responsibility for what is to come, whether its good, (as it sometimes is,) or torturously bad, (way more frequent.) Luckily, here to help me carry the load are an unprecedented 5 DIFFERENT GUEST REVIEWERS! Will our guests from other blogs feel the full blunt force of your decisions? There's only one way to find out.

So with no further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents..

WWE SUMMERSLAM 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the the only reviews that tease you more than an out of your league prom date, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we have finally reached the show that the entire tumultuous summer has been building to, WWE Summerslam 2014. We've had rivalries brewing for months, as PPV after PPV has exceeded expectations, both in terms of quality and storyline progression, and now we've come to the blowoff where it all has to count for something. Can Lesnar vs. Cena avoid the curse of the Summerslog and be as good as we hope it can be? Can Ambrose and Rollins live up to the months of hype and expectation? Will the Miz continue to win my heart with his Hollywood heel antics? There's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Payback 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Payback 2014

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that totally promise to pay you back that $20 we owe you, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as WWE takes a big running jump into the season of Summerslog with WWE Payback 2014! We've officially entered what is traditionally the dreariest season of WWE, ladies and gentlemen, as the long march from Wrestlemania to Summerslam stretches ahead. But unlike most years when this time is used for things like R-Truth main event pushes, this time around we have some real interesting irons in the fire. The People's Champion Daniel Bryan is injured and will have to choose between his title and his wife's career, the old guard of Evolution is being stampeded by the most dominant force in recent memory, and John Cena has been stretched to his limits by a mysterious force bent of stealing his fanbase out from under him. All of it is going to come to a head here on a show that would normally be an afterthought, and by the end of the night, the landscape of World Wrestling Entertainment might look very different indeed.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Sacrifice 2014

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA Sacrifice 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that still cover TNA shows, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we go return once again to the wrestling mecca that is Orlando, Florida, to watch TNA's latest pay per view effort, TNA Sacrifice 2014! Now, if you haven't been following TNA since our Lockdown and have been thinking to yourself, "Well it's only been two months, how much could have changed?" then you are about to get hit in the face with a brick made of stupefication. Eric Young is the World Champion, MVP is the new owner of the company, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin no longer work here, and Samoa Joe, Austin Aries and Kazarian are nowhere to be seen. In their place, we have continuations of those white hot Gunner/Storm and Anderson/Shaw feuds, the return of Kurt Angle, and someone in a fake beard who has a major impact on this show. But, we're getting ahead of ourselves. Kick back, relax, and, as always, just be glad it's us watching it and not you.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

Wrestlemania XXX

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania XXX

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that are so popular that even Triple H is willing to put them over, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we come together once again to cover the crowning moment of the wrestling year, WWE Wrestlemania XXX! Boy, what a year it has been since the last time we did one of these, huh? A new top star has risen from seemingly nowhere to take the wrestling world by storm, the corporation has reformed just in time to fight him and a whole new generation of superstars has grown up right in front of our eyes, from the Shield to Bray Wyatt and beyond. And into this whirlwind of change and renewal steps the gallant warriors of Cewsh Reviews, to lend our thoughts, opinions, freak outs, and assorted neuroses to the story of legend of Wrestlemania. And hoo boy, do we ever have some crazy shit to talk about. With all that in mind, let us roll out the red carpet for you as we assemble once more to tackle one of the most talked about events in wrestling history.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Lockdown 2014

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA Lockdown 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the the reviews that draw better than TNA does, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as, after a 6 month absence, TNA makes it's grand return to the Cewsh Reviews stage with TNA Lockdown 2014. Now, you might be aware that Lockdown and Bound For Glory are really the only conventional pay per views left standing on TNA's schedule, and so we will always make it our priority to check in with them for these two shows just to see what is going on. But this time is a little bit different. This time the winds of change are rising in TNA, and the entire promotion may be all but unrecognizable to the casual observer. After all, top stars have left the company, a new champion reigns over all, and the major storyline coming in is an ownership conflict between Dixie Carter and...MVP? Oh yes, and there's more. Which TNA star has adopted an alter ego that I referred to as "one of the top 5 most embarrassing things in TNA's history"? What major Japanese wrestler has shown up to add a little class to these proceedings? And what former TNA star makes his dramatic comeback here tonight, (you'll know when we get there because everything will be in caps)? Well there's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Elimination Chamber 2014

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To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog that has as many Royal Rumble eliminations as all the other wrestling blogs combined, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we all take a collective deep breath and plunge into a brand new wrestling year with WWE's Royal Rumble 2014. Now you and I both know that, while I can talk about New Japan's Wrestle Kingdom until I'm blue in the fingers, this is where we kick off the festivities for the most important time in the wrestling industry every year. The Royal Rumble. The Road to Wrestlemania. The very idea of it drags casual wrestling fans back to their televisions and sets message boards on fire with new users, and it's hardly any surprise, as things are already started to heat right the hell up. Hell, this show only has four matches on it, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD MAIN EVENT A PPV EASILY. The culmination of the dramatic Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt feud, a new chapter in the storied Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show rivalry, and a clash between two of the biggest names of this era for the unified WWE championship, and all of that is just the warm up for the most anticipated match of the year itself, the Rumbly, Rumbly, Rumble. But what am I ding sitting here trying to sell it to you? We've all seen it, and boy howdy if people don't ever have some strong opinions about it. Now it's time to add outs onto the heap.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 8

New Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 8

Welcome cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that use the word "Swag" as a verb, an adjective and an exclamation during sex, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we focus on the most important non-WWE show of 2014, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 8! Now, if you're a regular Cewshketeer, you've no doubt seen us begging, demanding, cajoling and outright seducing you to buy this show, so that you could share in one of the biggest events of the wrestling year. Some of you did, most of you didn't, but regardless of whether you're reliving the wild night that you saw for yourself, or are looking to find out just what all the fuss is about, we've got you covered. We have a battle to crown the true star of this generation of Japanese wrestling, a battle to decide who their replacement will be, blood feuds dating back to childhood, family wide feuds spanning decades, and a wacky dude and his new demon friend taking on Japan's most ill tempered badass. There's so much going on that we did a whole preview about it already, and if that didn't get you hyped, maybe this will. One of these wrestlers is USED AS THE POLE IN A POLE DANCING ENTRANCE. What the shit are we waiting for?

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The 2013 CRL 100

Welcome, one and all, to the 2013 CRL 100! Tonight we will begin the second ever installment of the aptly titled Cewsh Reviews List 100, as we begin the countdown of the 100 best and most significant wrestlers of the past calender year. This list, which was founded originally in protest of the PWI 500, is the sum of a full year's worth of tireless tape watching and analysis by us here at Cewsh Reviews Headquarters, and we can't wait to show you who we chose for what spot, so you guys can get down to the important business of tearing it to shreds.

The goal here is to spread the word about people who had a great year, while rewarding the people who went above and beyond in the name of our entertainment. And while you might think you know how things will play out if you read our list last year, I assure you, things are VERY different this year. With a almost a third of the members of last year's list falling off of this one altogether to make room for fresh blood, and a radically different looking top 10, this list reflects a turbulent year in wrestling history. But at the end of it all, only one man can stand tall as Mr. 2013.

Will it be Daniel Bryan? John Cena? Hiroshi Tanahashi? Only one way to find out!

To Be Continued »

TNA Bound For Glory 2013

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY 2013

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that hurt more for your pleasure than an actor doing his 20th nut shot take of the day, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have finally come to the ultimate event in TNA's year, Bound For Glory 2013. Everything that TNA has crafted over the prior 364 days has led inexorably to this place and this moment, where it will all become clear and the path will make sense. The agony of the past 11 months will be undone in a glorious night of untold wonder and genuine merriment. There is no possible way that these ladies and gentleman could produce for us anything less than the very finest that the grappling arts can be. And when the smoke clears and the sad eyed homeless man now calling himself AJ Styles has finally triumphed over the powers of evil after years of anticipation, it will be a magnificent moment. One to tell the grandchildren about no doubt. So let's dig right into this event while I'm still in a state of manic delusion, and see just what TNA has to say for itself after what may be the worst year for any company in the history of professional wrestling.

To Be Continued »

NJPW Destruction 2013

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Destruction 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that own a giant mech robot for crushing our enemies, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, and while I may always say that, I well and truly mean it today. Recently, we asked our readers to tell us what they depended on Cewsh Reviews for coverage of, and the resounding answers were Japanese wrestling and TNA. Since TNA is lucky if they can even run a complete show, we're instead going to focus on Japan, and starting here, we will be covering each and every New Japan iPPV from this point on. The reason why we're focusing on New Japan will be clear to anyone familiar with them, but to those who aren't, New Japan has recently been on an incredible out of control hot streak that has led to them not only resurrecting themselves from obscurity, but has seen them rise to be the second biggest wrestling promotion on the planet. With stars like Hiroshi Tanahashi and Kazuchika Okada, New Japan has set it's sites on becoming a global product, and are eagerly courting American fans, (meaning you.) So it's lucky for you that you have the trusty Cewsh Reviews team there to get you on the ground floor of the biggest wrestling movement since the late 90s. Yes THOSE late 90s.

So let's dig into a show where Okada's title is in jeopardy, where a cocky little crusierweight has become one of the greatest heels in wrestling, and where literally every match has someone awesome in it, just waiting to become your new favorite wrestler.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »