WWE Survivor Series 2011

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Survivor Series 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the Wrestling Observer's favorite wrestling review blog, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we review WWE Survivor Series 2011 wherein a lot of stuff is going to happen that is great and wonderful and yadda yadda yadda THE ROCK IS GOING TO WRESTLE A MATCH. Whether you're a fan of the man or not, this show represents a huge, huge deal as the Rock returns to wrestle his first honest to god match in 8 years, and teaming up with his Wrestlemania opponent John Cena to boot. The interest and hype surrounding this is truly massive, and that's without even pointing out that we're in Madison Square Garden, baby. The home of the WWE, and the birthplace of a million poorly thought out face turns. With the electricity of the Rock coming back, the excitement of CM Punk getting a crack at the WWE title, and with the widespread frustration over Zack Ryder being left off the card, this town is a geyser that is ready to explode. Anything can happen, and it will. Fucking hell, what are we waiting for?

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Turning Point 2011

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents…

 
TNA Turning Point 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the always prevalent and occasionally relevant Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we migrate south to Orlando seeking warmth and a good wrestling show, as we review TNA’s Turning Point 2011. Now this is TNA’s downtime of the year, much like WWE’s period after Wrestlemania, but apparently nobody told TNA this as things have developed rapidly since we last imbibed Aunt Dixie’s Jailhouse Road Show. After successfully defending his TNA World title against Robert Roode at Bound for Glory, Kurt Angle promptly lost it in a 5 minute match to Roode’s partner, James Storm. This incensed Roode so much that he turned heel on Storm and wrenched the title away from him, giving us a decidedly heel Roode as champion. At the same time, James Storm and Kurt Angle both found themselves injured and unable to wrestle Roode, so TNA looked to their eternal backup plan and tapped AJ Styles to fight Roode here to defend the honor of what is left of Fortune. Of course AJ ALSO got himself injured coming into the show, so who knows what might happen. Billy Gunn: main eventer? Sounding more and more likely.

But that’s just one of the various delicacies laid before us tonight, so let’s dig in and see if this show is as sweet as we’re hoping, or as rotten as we fear. Either way, it should be a culinary adventure.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

CHIKARA High Noon 2011

CHIKARA Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents…

CHIKARA HIGH NOON 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only review blog still rocking a mullet until it comes back in style, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we traverse new and completely uncharted territory for us, and cover our very first CHIKARA show in the 3+ years that we’ve been covering wrestling. So what makes this show so special that we would choose to highlight it first and foremost? Simple, this is CHIKARA’s debut on iPPV (thanks to the fine folks at Go Fight Live) and thus they have taken a step into wrestling world relevance that can not and will not be ignored by the likes of us. After all, who among us hasn’t heard tales of the ridiculous happenings in CHIKARA over the years? All kinds of dragons wrestling, an entire stable of demonic ice cream men, comedy matches so sublime that they defy description and everything else that you and your high buddies have spent the early hours of the morning giggling about on your computer screens can all be traced back to this collection of patently preposterous pugilists. So what’s going to happen when they open the door to a massive live audience? What will we think of the promotion as a whole? And what the shit is that bunny doing here? Welp, there really is only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

All Together in Budokan 2011

New Japan Pro Wrestling, All Japan Pro Wrestling and Pro Wrestling NOAH Proudly Present…

All Together In Budokon 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only wrestling review blog that brings everyone together uncomfortably close, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, and we really, truly mean it this time. See, a few months ago there was this series of disasters in Japan. You may have heard of it, it was kind of a big deal. Nuclear power plants melted down, whole stretches of the nation flooded and earthquakes shook up everything in between as if the apocalypse was just doing some warm up stretching off the coast of Japan. After the storm had cleared, the Japanese people were left with the daunting task of resuming life as usual with spirits as low as could possibly be. So wrestling answered the call. All Japan Pro Wrestling, Pro Wrestling NOAH and New Japan Pro Wrestling joined together for the first time in a generation to do one supershow under one roof to raise money for the charity organizations that were scrambling to put their nation back together. For one night, wrestlers laced up their boots, walked out in front of thousands of eager fans, and brought a little sunshine into the hearts of people who needed it. It’s a proud moment in wrestling history, and that show is the very one we are reviewing for you here today.

Now such a special occasion couldn’t be handled by just myself, nor by just one co reviewer. For this All Together review, we brought together all 4 of our puro reviewers to converge on this show and give it the attention it deserves. We have Defrost, the scholarly curmudgeon, DDT, the enthusiastic historian, Vice, the incredulous chronicler, and of course, yours truly. We’ll join our power rings together and go all Captain Planet on this fucker.

But before we start, a little soft shoe history lesson from Professor Defrost.

To Be Continued »

The 8 Least Intimidating Monsters In Wrestling History

Top of the morning to you, my fabulous readers.  I've gathered you here to talk about something very near and dear to my heart.

Goddamit Vice, Stay Out Of My Subconscious.

Well no, not Optimus Prime, but point taken.  No, today, in honor of last week's Halloween fun, we're here to talk about monsters.  Specifically those crazed men in wrestling designed, through one gimmick or another, to scare us and inspire our wrestling favorites to greater feats of heroism.  Over the years there have been almost too many to count, ranging from the truly frightening (Abdullah the Butcher) to the insane (Luther) to the downright odd (the Boogeyman), and they are a big part of the spectacle that makes wrestling so special.  Men in these roles like Vader and the Undertaker have shaken the foundations of federations and made the entire wrestling industry tremble at their passing.  But this list isn't about those people.  Those people were awesome.  No, THIS list is about the men who were set up to be big, scary, intimidating monsters and somewhere along the way they just...weren't.  The laughable, the cheesy, the inept and the clumsy, here is our list of the top 8 least intimidating monsters in wrestling history.

And here's hoping none of them are hiding in your closet ready to jump out and ask for bus fare.

To Be Continued »

JCW Legends And Icons 2011

Juggalo Championship Wrestling Proudly Presents…

JCW LEGENDS AND ICONS 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only review blog that makes you walk like the scurvy dog ye be, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special trea…hmm. Well I guess “special” would be more accurate than “treat” actually now that I think about it. Because I’m going to level with you boys and girls, tonight we intrude upon untouched ground as we review the wrestling highlight of the annual Gathering of the Juggalos, JCW Legends and Icons 2011. We have a motley crew of legends from the 80s, drug addicts from the 90s, various amusing hangers on and, well, Juggalos on tap for tonight to flay us with untold pleasures of the mind until we beg them to stop. It sounds like a great time. I mean the Cewsh Reviews team, and a promotion run by evil, rapping clowns in the same place at the same time. What can go wrong, right?

Right?

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Bound For Glory 2011

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents…

 

TNA Bound For Glory 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviews that are best accompanied by the song Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight and I really mean it as the second biggest night in the American wrestling year has come at last. TNA’s premiere PPV, Bound For Glory has come upon us with all of its splendor and whatzits to cap the TNA year with a bang. So what has TNA produced in the past year leading to this moment to give it that big show importance? Well that would be the Bound For Glory Series, a competition where members of the roster vied for points to make it to the main event of Bound For Glory. Bobby (formerly Robert, formerly Bobby) Roode came out on top ultimately, and now he’ll square off with the Olympic Gold Medalist Kurt Angle to try to cement himself atop the roster and finally make with World Championship dreams come true. But wait, that’s not all! We also have a Sherpa, a Witch, a Bully and a Felon to enjoy! You may have paid for your entire office chair, but you’ll only need the edge!

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The Top 10 Matches Of John Cena

Hola amigos and amigettes, welcome to yet another Sunday Supplement.  Now in the past we've done all sorts of things with the mostly legal supplements, but by far my favorite is lists and you guys seem to agree as they're many of our most beloved Supplements.  So this week we'll be pairing something beloved (lists) with something...shall we say less beloved (Mr. John Cena).  All through the allustrious career of Mr. Cena, he's had his share of critics (and everyone else's share too) who knocked everything from his moveset, to his lack of selling, to his inability to understand ring psychology.  If you asked one of these critics to name a good John Cena match, many would be hard pressed to, whether out of genuine distaste or just stubborness.  We here at Cewsh Reviews have been as harshly critical of the man as anyone, including Vice's 17 verse long epic poem entitled "Sell the Fucking Leg, You Twat", but here tonight we'll be looking back at the matches that show that there's more to the man than fluorescent colors and jorts.  So here they are, the 10 best matches of the Doctor of Thuganomics as categorized by yours truly.

I think some of these may surprise you.

To Be Continued »

WWE Hell in a Cell 2011

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

 

WWE Hell in a Cell 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the rip roaring, loud snoring, runaway bear that is Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we cover the only show of the year that FORCES us to curse just talking about it (aside from IWA:MS shows), WWE Hell in a Cell 2011. Tonight 5 men will enter the cell structure in which so much brutality has been done over the years. The images are so vivid and brutal that they’ve reached unforgettable status. Foley being thrown off of the cell, Lesnar atop the cell over the broken body of the Undertaker, a beaten and battered Triple H lifting the sliedgehammer for one last desperation shot before being Batista Bombed into oblivion. These matches are greatest among all those in WWE when it comes to instilling a sense of brutality and destruction. And tonight, we will have two. But that’s not all we have here on this magical night. Many titles are on the line, a few feuds are kicking into to overdrive, and what’s this I hear about a new title belt…? As always, there’s only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

DDT Peter Pan in Ryogoku 2011

Dramatic Dream Team Proudly Presents…

DDT Peter Pan In Ryogoku 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the reviews that you can find in vending machines all over Japan next to the used panties, Cewsh Reviews!  We have a special treat for you tonight as we truck right along with the Puro Party, and cover our very first DDT show here with DDT’s Peter Pan in Ryogoku 2011.  Now, for this Panda Puro Party, we’re bringing you the biggest shows of the Japanese wrestling year, from company’s biggest events, to shows with matches of huge significance, to epic, industry changing shows from the past.  This one, well, at the very least I can say that it is by far DDT’s biggest show of the year, as they bring together wrestlers from all over Japan to compete in one of the most high profile events on the wrestling calendar.  There are great champions, up and comers, and some genuine big names.  Sounds like a credible show, right?  Sure, absolutely.  Lots of intrigue and story.  That’s…that’s what is in store for you here.

Look, I’ll level with you.  Things are going to get batshit up in here.  Buckle up.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »