WWE Royal Rumble 2009

Cewsh: This review is probably my favorite that we had ever done to this point. It was Ms. Cewsh's second foray into reviewing (And the first time that she actually WANTED to do it), and the first time we got her and Vice in the Review Room at the same time, together. The chemistry isn't all there yet, and the format is still changing and shifting towards its current glory, but this is the review that best captured the fun of the early days and the (ha) professionalism of our later work.

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World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2009

Welcome to yet another edition of Cewsh Reviews…; boy do we have a treat for you tonight. Not only have we reviewed the WWE Royal Rumble 2009, arguably the second most important show of the year in professional wrestling, but we’ve also turned this sexy party into a down and dirty three way. That’s right, back from her long hiatus to lend this lowly manuscript some class, is the ever delicious Ms. Cewsh. Don’t worry your little heads, boys and girls, we’ve still got the good ol’ Cewsh/Vice action that you’ve come to know and love. Is this intro getting anyone else hot? No? Right! Me either!

Now, before we get on with tonight’s festivities, allow me to first take a moment to explain how the Royal Rumble works, just in case anyone reading this has never seen one. I can’t imagine whom that could possibly include, but humor me. We try to be thorough here. The Royal Rumble match is a 30 man, Over-The-Top-Rope, Battle Royal. The idea is to eliminate the other wrestlers by throwing them over the top rope, causing their feet to hit the floor. 30 men will eventually enter, two starting, and a new man entering every 90 seconds. The last man left in the ring gets an automatic shot at the Heavyweight Championship of his choosing in the main event of Wrestlemania. Everyone clear? Alright, good. Also, understand that these matches take an hour, sometimes more, so there aren’t going to be a lot of matches on this card. Just roll with it.

As always, we go into this review with nothing (intentionally) spoiled for us. We don’t read the spoilers, the news, and for the most part, the Rajah threads leading up to the PPVs.

On with the show!

To Be Continued »

TNA Genesis 2009

Cewsh: The first TNA show of the new year, and it was a definite doozie, as Mick Foley had just come to TNA, and nobody really knew what he was going to wind up doing with the company. This is the start of what I would later call the "Meh" period of TNA PPVs. Meh. A three letter word that means "not worth your money or time." Also, this review was powered entirely by Taco Bell and sleeplessness.

Good times.

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Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA GENESIS 2009

Well here we are again boys and girls, here for another TNA review, but also here for the very first big (US) show of the new year. TNA jumps out of the gate first with the first PPV of the year, so will they set the pace, and the standard for 2009, and give us a show to give us faith for the coming year? Only time will tell, and time we have. So let’s get to it.

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom III

Cewsh: Oh Wrestle Kingdom, you sexy bitch. This is the first Japanese show that we ever watched together, and, for both of us, was really the first time we'd seen what NJPW is as a promotion these days. We were very, very impressed. But more than anything, this is the first time that either of us laid eyes on the hunky, dreamboat Hiroshi Tanahashi, who has become sort of an unaware mascot of our fine review institution.

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New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom III

Welcome ladies and gentlemen to yet another Rajah Award nominated edition of Cewsh Reviews. After a holiday hiatus, thanks to no major companies wanting to hold any important shows over the winter holidays, we have decided to bring you the very best in international wrestling to get you primed and ready for us to explode into a new year of show reviews. Now many of you may well be entirely unfamiliar with Japanese wrestling, or may know just enough to recognize a few names, so we’ll do our best to catch you up to speed on what may be the most important wrestling show of recent times. Even if you have no intention of watching this or any Japanese wrestling show, hopefully this review will get you more acquainted with the goings on of our funny talking neighbors across the ocean.

To Be Continued »

The Pro Wrestling Summit

Cewsh: Take 1 member of every wrestling promotion in the Land of the Rising Sun, put them in a blender along with traditional Japanese wackiness, and a good dose of fun, and what do you get? A good mix of wily veterans, and youngsters looking for their chance to succeed, and a ton of fun for the Cewsh Reviews Team.

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Every Japanese Promotion Ever Proudly Presents…

THE PRO WRESTLING SUMMIT 2008

Welcome, cats and kittens, to another edition of the Razzy award winning Cewsh Reviews. Tonight we have the special privilege of covering a very unique event in professional wrestling. The Pro Wrestling Summit. Every Japanese wrestling promotion that anyone has ever heard of came together and offered one of their wrestlers to this mini supershow. Its mainly chock full of up and comers, and people that each promotion wants to push, so it’s a good indicator towards who the future of Japanese wrestling is. So yeah, this show is verrrry intriguing, and one of those rare times when we get the chance to sample a lot of different promotions at once. The Cewsh Reviews Team loves that shit.

And without any further ado, let’s review this bitch, shall we?

To Be Continued »

HUSTLE Hustlemania 2008

Cewsh: I don't have the words in my vocabulary to describe the experience we had watching this show. There is nothing you have ever seen in professional wrestling that could possibly prepare you for the world of HUSTLE. Read this review, and then immediately go find something from these guys for yourself. You will not in any way be disappointed. Confused, but not disappointed.

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HUSTLE Proudly Presents...

HUSTLEMANIA 2008

Goooood afternoon, cats and kittens, and welcome to yet another bonus installment of Cewsh Reviews. As you’ve no doubt noticed, the long wait for Wrestlemania makes the Cewsh Reviews team a little itchy and leaves us with nothing to do, so in the pursuit of the very finest in entertainment for you, our loyal readers, we have scoured the globe looking for the very best in wrestling spectacle. And boy did we find it. We’ve reviewed Japanese wrestling shows before, but before we get started I don’t want any of you to have any illusions, HUSTLE is different. Wayyyy different. Consider yourselves warned, kick back, and get ready for us to rock your face full of chewy review goodness.

To Be Continued »

WWE Armageddon 2008

Cewsh: There are plenty of things that you MAY be watching this show to see, but history will remember it for only one reason. This is Jeff Hardy's coming of age. And we could prattle on all day about anything else, but there's your draw. Come feel the excitement as the Charismatic Enigma ascends to the throne.

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World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ARMAGEDDON 2008

Welcome, oh luminaries of the internet for another hotly anticipated installment of Cewsh and Vice (and occasionally other people, Ms. Cewsh especially) review wrestling! Here tonight we have a special treat for you as Vice and I team up for the very first time to tackle a WWE PPV. Will our TNA chemistry carry over to the big leagues, or will we begin a downward spiral into obscurity? Like your hero always says, “I’m Cewsh, get me a sandwich.” That probably wasn't relevant here, but I really am quite hungry. Little help?

Now, as I’m sure you all know, we go to great lengths to avoid spoilers of any kind, or information prior to the show. All we have to go on is what we see on tv (and in Vice’s case usually not even that). With that in mind let’s have a swingin’ good time, and do some reviewing or something. I don’t know. I should have taken up knitting.

To Be Continued »

TNA Final Resolution 2008

Cewsh: As we moved towards the end of the first calender year of Cewsh Reviews..., Vice made his triumphant return here, and things started to settle in to a groove. Vice debuted his Awards here, which have remained probably the most popular part of the reviews to this day. I briefly attempted to talk Ms. Cewsh into doing this show as well, and the laughter rose through the air, sailed through the wind current down to Florida, and settled into the ears of a Mr. Jarrett, who shed a single tear.

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Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA Final Resolution 2008

Welcome to the show, ladies and gents. Cewsh here; ready to delight you, excite you, and buy your girlfriend some flowers, (because you always forget). As you may have noticed, the ever curmudgeonly Vice has rejoined us this review. He’s here to shine a little of his purple light on our dreary, washed-out lives. While you may have gotten your hopes up for another edition of Ms. Cewsh, wittily telling you about the women she would like to fornicate with, you’ll just have to wait until she makes her triumphant return at the Royal Rumble. Much like John Cena, this part year.

Here we are to review Final Resolution, the last TNA pay-per-view of 2008. It’s been a long year for TNA, fraught with many successes and far more failures. As usual, they seem to be on the cusp of greatness. Will this be the night they put it all together? Or will they crash and burn, like we all expect them to?

To Be Continued »

WWE Survivor Series 2008

Cewsh: This is where things start to get interesting. With Vice unable to participate in our very first WWE show review, I had to scramble to find a replacement. Finally, after a great deal of whining and begging, Ms. Cewsh stepped up and filled the void. After reviewing more than capably, she decided (was conjoled) to join the cast permanantly. She only does the big 4 WWE shows, but she's like the sprinkles on the ice cream. Delicious, delicious sprinkles.

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World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Survivor Series 2008

Welcome ladies and alleged gentlemen, to the very first Cewsh and Vice review of a WWE show! Now you may have already noticed that something is a bit off this time out of the gate, but you may not be able to put your finger on it. Allow me to help. You see Vice is off on vacation to Imagination Land and has left me alone to post this review all by my lonesome.

After I stopped crying alone in my closet I got down to thinking about possible replacements. After cycling through some potential options, I finally settled on my own fiancé Danielle. Why, you ask desperately, fervently clinging to your autographed Vice bumper stickers? Because she has a point of view that I don’t have, and might be interesting to many. Danielle, for lack of a better word, is a mark. The proverbial casual fan we all speculate about. I think she’ll offer an interesting point of view on things, and if you disagree, then feel free to write your own long ass review. And have no fear Vicesuvians. The man himself will be back in action for the next review.

As always, for those unacquainted with our reviews, we only know what we can find out on the television shows and work hard to avoid spoilers and fake news. We’re here to tell you what is worth watching, and we are definitely not here to tell you how to think, just what to do. Got it? Alright. And away we go…

To Be Continued »

TNA Turning Point 2008

Cewsh: Ah, and here is the very first time that the Cewsh Reviews...team got to review a show by one of the top companies, and got a chance to show that they could, in fact, actually review shows that people might have some interest in seeing. Unfortunately, after the debacle of the Ring of Honor PPV, we were both feeling a bit listless about the whole review thing. Vice chose to go the complete comedic route with this one, and I had trouble resisting temptation to do the same. This would really be the turnaround, though, because from here on out the reviews got better and better every single time out the door. You might also notice that the format is much more familiar, as this was the first review that I really felt comfortable formatting these monsters.

I'm glad Vice let me talk him into keeping this going after all.

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Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA’s Turning Point 2008

Alright cats and kittens welcome to the official second review of the dynamic dream team, Cewsh and Vice, and this time we’ll be reviewing something that someone might actually have wanted to watch. Going into the watching of this card we both have a vague idea of the card, but no idea of the results, and a vague idea of the storylines involved. We are watching as fans and critics alike, because that’s the natural way.

To Be Continued »

IWA: MS The Ted Petty Invitational 2008.

Cewsh: Here's the very first review ever done by the Cewsh Reviews...crew. And by the crew I mean just me, because I couldn't convince anyone to do this one with me. I went solo, and it went so well that we ran with it and I grabbed Vice and Ms. Cewsh on board. As a result of this being the first foray into reviewing, however, things are a little different. There is no real scoring system, no download seals of approval (ran out of fish to feed them), and not a ton of quality. But as a purely historical artifact, it may be a fun read anyway.

This review is also notable for being having originally been almost painfully badly formatted. I cleaned it up for your consumption. You can thank me later.

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IWA: Mid South Proudly Presents...

IWA:MS TED PETTY INVITATIONAL 2008

Welcome, welcome to the first of what will surely be a long line of review segments from your hero, the Cewsh. Now let’s get a few things clear right off the bat here. I’m not interested in reading spoilers of shows before I watch them, I do not scour the internet looking for “insider information” from the likes of the great, infallible David Meltzer, and I will not be reviewing random events from 20 years ago that are completely self serving and irrelevant (unless I feel like it). The purpose of these reviews is to let you know my opinion on the current happenings in today’s wrestling world, and maybe to let you know about events you may otherwise not have noticed, and maybe also to help you avoid wasting a download on something that you’d rather chew your own face off than watch.

Now, all that said, I selected the Ted Petty invitational Tournament for my first review because it is considered by many to be the best showcase of independent talent (right up the with the ECWA Super 8) each year, and it is generally a great show from top to bottom. And even if it isn’t, unintentional humor is just as worthy of the Cewsh’s attention. So without further ado, please direct your attention to the set list below so that we can get started.

To Be Continued »