HUSTLE Hustlemania 2008

Cewsh: I don't have the words in my vocabulary to describe the experience we had watching this show. There is nothing you have ever seen in professional wrestling that could possibly prepare you for the world of HUSTLE. Read this review, and then immediately go find something from these guys for yourself. You will not in any way be disappointed. Confused, but not disappointed.

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HUSTLE Proudly Presents...

HUSTLEMANIA 2008

Goooood afternoon, cats and kittens, and welcome to yet another bonus installment of Cewsh Reviews. As you’ve no doubt noticed, the long wait for Wrestlemania makes the Cewsh Reviews team a little itchy and leaves us with nothing to do, so in the pursuit of the very finest in entertainment for you, our loyal readers, we have scoured the globe looking for the very best in wrestling spectacle. And boy did we find it. We’ve reviewed Japanese wrestling shows before, but before we get started I don’t want any of you to have any illusions, HUSTLE is different. Wayyyy different. Consider yourselves warned, kick back, and get ready for us to rock your face full of chewy review goodness.

To Be Continued »

WWE Armageddon 2008

Cewsh: There are plenty of things that you MAY be watching this show to see, but history will remember it for only one reason. This is Jeff Hardy's coming of age. And we could prattle on all day about anything else, but there's your draw. Come feel the excitement as the Charismatic Enigma ascends to the throne.

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World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE ARMAGEDDON 2008

Welcome, oh luminaries of the internet for another hotly anticipated installment of Cewsh and Vice (and occasionally other people, Ms. Cewsh especially) review wrestling! Here tonight we have a special treat for you as Vice and I team up for the very first time to tackle a WWE PPV. Will our TNA chemistry carry over to the big leagues, or will we begin a downward spiral into obscurity? Like your hero always says, “I’m Cewsh, get me a sandwich.” That probably wasn't relevant here, but I really am quite hungry. Little help?

Now, as I’m sure you all know, we go to great lengths to avoid spoilers of any kind, or information prior to the show. All we have to go on is what we see on tv (and in Vice’s case usually not even that). With that in mind let’s have a swingin’ good time, and do some reviewing or something. I don’t know. I should have taken up knitting.

To Be Continued »

TNA Final Resolution 2008

Cewsh: As we moved towards the end of the first calender year of Cewsh Reviews..., Vice made his triumphant return here, and things started to settle in to a groove. Vice debuted his Awards here, which have remained probably the most popular part of the reviews to this day. I briefly attempted to talk Ms. Cewsh into doing this show as well, and the laughter rose through the air, sailed through the wind current down to Florida, and settled into the ears of a Mr. Jarrett, who shed a single tear.

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Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA Final Resolution 2008

Welcome to the show, ladies and gents. Cewsh here; ready to delight you, excite you, and buy your girlfriend some flowers, (because you always forget). As you may have noticed, the ever curmudgeonly Vice has rejoined us this review. He’s here to shine a little of his purple light on our dreary, washed-out lives. While you may have gotten your hopes up for another edition of Ms. Cewsh, wittily telling you about the women she would like to fornicate with, you’ll just have to wait until she makes her triumphant return at the Royal Rumble. Much like John Cena, this part year.

Here we are to review Final Resolution, the last TNA pay-per-view of 2008. It’s been a long year for TNA, fraught with many successes and far more failures. As usual, they seem to be on the cusp of greatness. Will this be the night they put it all together? Or will they crash and burn, like we all expect them to?

To Be Continued »

WWE Survivor Series 2008

Cewsh: This is where things start to get interesting. With Vice unable to participate in our very first WWE show review, I had to scramble to find a replacement. Finally, after a great deal of whining and begging, Ms. Cewsh stepped up and filled the void. After reviewing more than capably, she decided (was conjoled) to join the cast permanantly. She only does the big 4 WWE shows, but she's like the sprinkles on the ice cream. Delicious, delicious sprinkles.

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World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Survivor Series 2008

Welcome ladies and alleged gentlemen, to the very first Cewsh and Vice review of a WWE show! Now you may have already noticed that something is a bit off this time out of the gate, but you may not be able to put your finger on it. Allow me to help. You see Vice is off on vacation to Imagination Land and has left me alone to post this review all by my lonesome.

After I stopped crying alone in my closet I got down to thinking about possible replacements. After cycling through some potential options, I finally settled on my own fiancé Danielle. Why, you ask desperately, fervently clinging to your autographed Vice bumper stickers? Because she has a point of view that I don’t have, and might be interesting to many. Danielle, for lack of a better word, is a mark. The proverbial casual fan we all speculate about. I think she’ll offer an interesting point of view on things, and if you disagree, then feel free to write your own long ass review. And have no fear Vicesuvians. The man himself will be back in action for the next review.

As always, for those unacquainted with our reviews, we only know what we can find out on the television shows and work hard to avoid spoilers and fake news. We’re here to tell you what is worth watching, and we are definitely not here to tell you how to think, just what to do. Got it? Alright. And away we go…

To Be Continued »

TNA Turning Point 2008

Cewsh: Ah, and here is the very first time that the Cewsh Reviews...team got to review a show by one of the top companies, and got a chance to show that they could, in fact, actually review shows that people might have some interest in seeing. Unfortunately, after the debacle of the Ring of Honor PPV, we were both feeling a bit listless about the whole review thing. Vice chose to go the complete comedic route with this one, and I had trouble resisting temptation to do the same. This would really be the turnaround, though, because from here on out the reviews got better and better every single time out the door. You might also notice that the format is much more familiar, as this was the first review that I really felt comfortable formatting these monsters.

I'm glad Vice let me talk him into keeping this going after all.

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Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA’s Turning Point 2008

Alright cats and kittens welcome to the official second review of the dynamic dream team, Cewsh and Vice, and this time we’ll be reviewing something that someone might actually have wanted to watch. Going into the watching of this card we both have a vague idea of the card, but no idea of the results, and a vague idea of the storylines involved. We are watching as fans and critics alike, because that’s the natural way.

To Be Continued »

IWA: MS The Ted Petty Invitational 2008.

Cewsh: Here's the very first review ever done by the Cewsh Reviews...crew. And by the crew I mean just me, because I couldn't convince anyone to do this one with me. I went solo, and it went so well that we ran with it and I grabbed Vice and Ms. Cewsh on board. As a result of this being the first foray into reviewing, however, things are a little different. There is no real scoring system, no download seals of approval (ran out of fish to feed them), and not a ton of quality. But as a purely historical artifact, it may be a fun read anyway.

This review is also notable for being having originally been almost painfully badly formatted. I cleaned it up for your consumption. You can thank me later.

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IWA: Mid South Proudly Presents...

IWA:MS TED PETTY INVITATIONAL 2008

Welcome, welcome to the first of what will surely be a long line of review segments from your hero, the Cewsh. Now let’s get a few things clear right off the bat here. I’m not interested in reading spoilers of shows before I watch them, I do not scour the internet looking for “insider information” from the likes of the great, infallible David Meltzer, and I will not be reviewing random events from 20 years ago that are completely self serving and irrelevant (unless I feel like it). The purpose of these reviews is to let you know my opinion on the current happenings in today’s wrestling world, and maybe to let you know about events you may otherwise not have noticed, and maybe also to help you avoid wasting a download on something that you’d rather chew your own face off than watch.

Now, all that said, I selected the Ted Petty invitational Tournament for my first review because it is considered by many to be the best showcase of independent talent (right up the with the ECWA Super 8) each year, and it is generally a great show from top to bottom. And even if it isn’t, unintentional humor is just as worthy of the Cewsh’s attention. So without further ado, please direct your attention to the set list below so that we can get started.

To Be Continued »

IWA:MS For The Love Of Rollin'

Cewsh: This is the tribute show that IWA:MS put on for a wrestler named Rollin' Hard, who was primarily known for lighting his fist on fire and punching people with it. And while we think it's horribly tragic when any wrestler dies, the fact that this is the way they chose to honor him is all you need to know about IWA:MS.

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IWA: Mid South Proudly Presents...

IWA:MS For The Love Of Rollin'

Alright ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another BONUS edition of Cewsh Reviews…, and this time we’re reviewing a show, essentially just for the fun of it. Neither of us care anything about IWA:MS, and neither of us even knew who this Rollin’ Hard guy was. Debatably his own mother knew who he was, but I wouldn’t put my money on it. Anyway this is sort of an exhibition review, put together by boredom, free time, glue, and Popsicle sticks. Its magical, in a way.

Anyway, in case you weren’t aware, IWA:MS used to be one of the bigger independents, churning out talents such as CM Punk, Colt Cabana, and Jimmy Jacobs. They’re best known, probably, for the Ted Petty Invitational, which brings (in theory) the best independent workers in the nation together for a tournament to determine the finest. I myself reviewed this year’s invitational a few months ago in the General Wrestling forum (shameless plug), so I’m familiar with a few of these guys, but not all of them. The general talent in the indies has been declining steadily, and this promotion has been amongst the hardest hit in these lean times. Also, Ian Rotten books them, and does it poorly. Don’t believe me? Here comes the proof. Also I would like to make clear that, despite the fact that this is, in fact, a memorial show, the name Rollin’ Hard is uttered maybe 10 times all night, and only twice by the announcers. So since they didn’t make a big deal about respect for the dead, we won’t either.

Ready? Let’s get to it!

To Be Continued »

ROH Fueling The Fire 2008

Cewsh: Here is the very first collaboration between Vice and I, and we had really high hopes for it after the success of my first Ted Petty Review. Unfortunately, this one went over like a fart in church. Whether it was having it posted in a forum with relatively low foot traffic, whether it was covering a show that nobody other than our friend chotzilla could possibly be interested, or whether it was just a sad sack review, its hard to say.

Regardless of the reason, here it is in all its glory, and you can decide for yourself.

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Ring of Honor Proudly Presents...
 

ROH FUELING THE FIRE 2008

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the debut episode of CEWSH and VICE Review ______! This is the first time he and I have collaborated on anything this intensive, and we’re treating like a trial run to see what kinks need to be worked out and what we like doing with this. At any rate, this is also the first Ring of Honor show either of us have seen in some time, and we had no idea ahead of time who was going to win the matches, or even what matches were on the card, so our reactions are entirely stream of consciousness. No names have been changed to protect the hobos.

So let’s get started!

To Be Continued »

NWE The Return of the Warrior

Cewsh: Dude, the Ultimate Warrior came back. There was no way we were missing this one. I may or may not have been wearing facepaint and tassels for the entire duration of this review.

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Nu Wrestling Evolution Proudly Presents…

NWE THE RETURN OF THE WARRIOR

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the most Warriortasticist review in the whole Warrior World, Cewsh Reviews. Tonight we’re taking on NWE’s The Return of the Warrior. Oh yeah, baby, it’s the sequel to our last NWE review and you should know immediately that we are giddily excited to head back across the Atlantic. When last we explored the strangely wonderful world of Rikishi’s Nu-Wrestling Evolution, Orlando Jordan was getting punked and run out of the ring by the fucking WARRIOR. What can we provide to top that in the sequel? How about the match to end all matches, the clash of titans that will echo through the ages, the ironclad immortal verses the colossal calamity? After a decade of retirement, the Ultimate Warrior makes his triumphant return, and Orlando Jordan vs. The Ultimate Warrior fucking actually happens. The world may never be the same.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking WARRIORview!

To Be Continued »

NWE Power Catch: 19/04/08

Cewsh: In an attempt to represent wrestling from all over the world, Vice and I decided to take a look at the Italy based promotion run by former WWE star Rikishi. We knew that many former WWE castoffs had found work there, but what we found was nothing like what we expected. And so began the Cewsh Reviews love affair with Orlando Jordan.

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Nu Wrestling Evolution Proudly Presents…

NWE Power Catch: 19/04/08

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only review brought to you in part by PBS and readers like you, Cewsh Reviews... Tonight we have a special treat for you, as we cross one of the oceans (take your pick) to arrive on the sunny beaches of Spain to review NWE’s Catch Direct 8: Episode 1. Now we’ve reviewed shows from all over the world before, but we’ve never visited our brothers in Europe, and with NWE causing quite a stir in those parts, their time has finally come.

Frankly, though, it’s a surprise we’ve never done them before. Orlando Jordan? Booked by Rikishi? Ultimate Warrior shows up sometimes? Yeah, you can count us in anytime, if for nothing else, then for the sheer absurdity of it all. Can Rikishi book? Will we have any idea what is going on? Will Cewsh blow a gasket at seeing Orlando Jordan again? Only one way to find out, and lucky for you, its to keep right on reading.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »