TNA Turning Point 2008

Cewsh: Ah, and here is the very first time that the Cewsh Reviews...team got to review a show by one of the top companies, and got a chance to show that they could, in fact, actually review shows that people might have some interest in seeing. Unfortunately, after the debacle of the Ring of Honor PPV, we were both feeling a bit listless about the whole review thing. Vice chose to go the complete comedic route with this one, and I had trouble resisting temptation to do the same. This would really be the turnaround, though, because from here on out the reviews got better and better every single time out the door. You might also notice that the format is much more familiar, as this was the first review that I really felt comfortable formatting these monsters.

I'm glad Vice let me talk him into keeping this going after all.

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Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA’s Turning Point 2008

Alright cats and kittens welcome to the official second review of the dynamic dream team, Cewsh and Vice, and this time we’ll be reviewing something that someone might actually have wanted to watch. Going into the watching of this card we both have a vague idea of the card, but no idea of the results, and a vague idea of the storylines involved. We are watching as fans and critics alike, because that’s the natural way.

To Be Continued »

IWA: MS The Ted Petty Invitational 2008.

Cewsh: Here's the very first review ever done by the Cewsh Reviews...crew. And by the crew I mean just me, because I couldn't convince anyone to do this one with me. I went solo, and it went so well that we ran with it and I grabbed Vice and Ms. Cewsh on board. As a result of this being the first foray into reviewing, however, things are a little different. There is no real scoring system, no download seals of approval (ran out of fish to feed them), and not a ton of quality. But as a purely historical artifact, it may be a fun read anyway.

This review is also notable for being having originally been almost painfully badly formatted. I cleaned it up for your consumption. You can thank me later.

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IWA: Mid South Proudly Presents...

IWA:MS TED PETTY INVITATIONAL 2008

Welcome, welcome to the first of what will surely be a long line of review segments from your hero, the Cewsh. Now let’s get a few things clear right off the bat here. I’m not interested in reading spoilers of shows before I watch them, I do not scour the internet looking for “insider information” from the likes of the great, infallible David Meltzer, and I will not be reviewing random events from 20 years ago that are completely self serving and irrelevant (unless I feel like it). The purpose of these reviews is to let you know my opinion on the current happenings in today’s wrestling world, and maybe to let you know about events you may otherwise not have noticed, and maybe also to help you avoid wasting a download on something that you’d rather chew your own face off than watch.

Now, all that said, I selected the Ted Petty invitational Tournament for my first review because it is considered by many to be the best showcase of independent talent (right up the with the ECWA Super 8) each year, and it is generally a great show from top to bottom. And even if it isn’t, unintentional humor is just as worthy of the Cewsh’s attention. So without further ado, please direct your attention to the set list below so that we can get started.

To Be Continued »

IWA:MS For The Love Of Rollin'

Cewsh: This is the tribute show that IWA:MS put on for a wrestler named Rollin' Hard, who was primarily known for lighting his fist on fire and punching people with it. And while we think it's horribly tragic when any wrestler dies, the fact that this is the way they chose to honor him is all you need to know about IWA:MS.

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IWA: Mid South Proudly Presents...

IWA:MS For The Love Of Rollin'

Alright ladies and gentlemen, welcome to another BONUS edition of Cewsh Reviews…, and this time we’re reviewing a show, essentially just for the fun of it. Neither of us care anything about IWA:MS, and neither of us even knew who this Rollin’ Hard guy was. Debatably his own mother knew who he was, but I wouldn’t put my money on it. Anyway this is sort of an exhibition review, put together by boredom, free time, glue, and Popsicle sticks. Its magical, in a way.

Anyway, in case you weren’t aware, IWA:MS used to be one of the bigger independents, churning out talents such as CM Punk, Colt Cabana, and Jimmy Jacobs. They’re best known, probably, for the Ted Petty Invitational, which brings (in theory) the best independent workers in the nation together for a tournament to determine the finest. I myself reviewed this year’s invitational a few months ago in the General Wrestling forum (shameless plug), so I’m familiar with a few of these guys, but not all of them. The general talent in the indies has been declining steadily, and this promotion has been amongst the hardest hit in these lean times. Also, Ian Rotten books them, and does it poorly. Don’t believe me? Here comes the proof. Also I would like to make clear that, despite the fact that this is, in fact, a memorial show, the name Rollin’ Hard is uttered maybe 10 times all night, and only twice by the announcers. So since they didn’t make a big deal about respect for the dead, we won’t either.

Ready? Let’s get to it!

To Be Continued »

ROH Fueling The Fire 2008

Cewsh: Here is the very first collaboration between Vice and I, and we had really high hopes for it after the success of my first Ted Petty Review. Unfortunately, this one went over like a fart in church. Whether it was having it posted in a forum with relatively low foot traffic, whether it was covering a show that nobody other than our friend chotzilla could possibly be interested, or whether it was just a sad sack review, its hard to say.

Regardless of the reason, here it is in all its glory, and you can decide for yourself.

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Ring of Honor Proudly Presents...
 

ROH FUELING THE FIRE 2008

Welcome ladies and gentlemen, to the debut episode of CEWSH and VICE Review ______! This is the first time he and I have collaborated on anything this intensive, and we’re treating like a trial run to see what kinks need to be worked out and what we like doing with this. At any rate, this is also the first Ring of Honor show either of us have seen in some time, and we had no idea ahead of time who was going to win the matches, or even what matches were on the card, so our reactions are entirely stream of consciousness. No names have been changed to protect the hobos.

So let’s get started!

To Be Continued »

NWE The Return of the Warrior

Cewsh: Dude, the Ultimate Warrior came back. There was no way we were missing this one. I may or may not have been wearing facepaint and tassels for the entire duration of this review.

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Nu Wrestling Evolution Proudly Presents…

NWE THE RETURN OF THE WARRIOR

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the most Warriortasticist review in the whole Warrior World, Cewsh Reviews. Tonight we’re taking on NWE’s The Return of the Warrior. Oh yeah, baby, it’s the sequel to our last NWE review and you should know immediately that we are giddily excited to head back across the Atlantic. When last we explored the strangely wonderful world of Rikishi’s Nu-Wrestling Evolution, Orlando Jordan was getting punked and run out of the ring by the fucking WARRIOR. What can we provide to top that in the sequel? How about the match to end all matches, the clash of titans that will echo through the ages, the ironclad immortal verses the colossal calamity? After a decade of retirement, the Ultimate Warrior makes his triumphant return, and Orlando Jordan vs. The Ultimate Warrior fucking actually happens. The world may never be the same.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking WARRIORview!

To Be Continued »

NWE Power Catch: 19/04/08

Cewsh: In an attempt to represent wrestling from all over the world, Vice and I decided to take a look at the Italy based promotion run by former WWE star Rikishi. We knew that many former WWE castoffs had found work there, but what we found was nothing like what we expected. And so began the Cewsh Reviews love affair with Orlando Jordan.

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Nu Wrestling Evolution Proudly Presents…

NWE Power Catch: 19/04/08

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only review brought to you in part by PBS and readers like you, Cewsh Reviews... Tonight we have a special treat for you, as we cross one of the oceans (take your pick) to arrive on the sunny beaches of Spain to review NWE’s Catch Direct 8: Episode 1. Now we’ve reviewed shows from all over the world before, but we’ve never visited our brothers in Europe, and with NWE causing quite a stir in those parts, their time has finally come.

Frankly, though, it’s a surprise we’ve never done them before. Orlando Jordan? Booked by Rikishi? Ultimate Warrior shows up sometimes? Yeah, you can count us in anytime, if for nothing else, then for the sheer absurdity of it all. Can Rikishi book? Will we have any idea what is going on? Will Cewsh blow a gasket at seeing Orlando Jordan again? Only one way to find out, and lucky for you, its to keep right on reading.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

IWF Ground Zero 07

Insane Wrestling Federation Proudly Presents…

IWF Ground Zero 07

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the family fucking friendliest wrestling review blog in the blogosphere (whatever the fuck that is), Cewsh Review! Tonight we’ve got a special treat for you, that is both intriguing and a little bit shocking. Why, you ask? Because we, your Cewsh Reviews party hosts, are actually going to review an American independent show that might not suck. That’s right. We’re reviewing indy wrestling for a reason OTHER THAN MOCKING IT (probably). What could possibly bring about this insane change to our modus operandi? Simple. You guys did it. A reader named Sparky, to be specific, not only requested this show be reviewed, but went so far as to send us his physical copy of the show, thus making us feel like awesome legit reviewers, and making Sparky our Number 1 Superfan of the year. Think you can top that? Well, we do like Skittles. So, you know, bribery is always welcome.

However, I digress. We took an all expenses paid (by us) trip up to Michigan with this bad boy, to see what was up in the Wolverine state. We’ll see if these sons of mother’s have any backbone. Possibly made of adamantium.

Anyway, without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE December To Dismember 2006

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE DECEMBER TO DISMEMBER 2006

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that come around less often than spontaneous three ways with buxom celebrities, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as after years and years of people asking me, begging me, and occasionally outright threatening me, I have finally broken down and agreed to review the consensus choice for the worst mainstream PPV in wrestling history. Of course, I can only be talking about WWE December To Dismember. After 8 years of healing, it is finally time for us to investigate just what the hell it is about this show that makes people bleed out of their eyeballs whenever they remember seeing it. Was it the Elimination Chamber match that killed the ECW concept in one fell swoop? Was it the undercard full of matches even their mothers couldn't love? Or was it some wonderful tidbit that has been blocked from my memory that will come tearing out with the force and fury of a runaway supernova? As always, there's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

TNA Bound For Glory 2005

Cewsh: We've taken trips back in time with WWE and WCW, but what about the other big promotion in the United States this decade? We'd hate to neglect TNA, so we decided to chose a PPV at random, settled on this one from back in what people tend to consider TNA's "Glory Days" and went about separating fiction from fact.

We may be assholes, but we are extremely thorough ones. That's for sure.

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TNA Wrestling Proudly Presents….

TNA BOUND FOR GLORY 2005

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of Cewsh Reviews… Here we’re at the tail end of Wrestlemania month here at the Cewsh Reviews... Headquarters, and we’re getting geared up for the big event coming up in April. You know the one, the larger than life spectacle that the whole world will stop to watch? Kurt Angle vs. Hiroshi Tanahashi! Err…well that one will be big as well, and we’ll be covering it too. Obviously, what we meant was Wrestlemania 25, the Showcase of the Immortals and all that. So, for our last gasp before the big show, we decided to cover WWE’s more direct competition: TNA. It’s a company that is currently down on its luck creative and entertainment-wise, but we’re going to cast wayyyy back to the Year of Our Father, 2005, and cover their premier event, Bound For Glory. Will this show put their newer efforts to shame? Will this rekindle our love for TNA? Why do all of the Cewsh Reviews… intros end with questions?

Yes, no, and because I’m the motherfucking Cewsh, that’s why. Pony up. We’re going for a ride…

To Be Continued »

ROG The Great Commission

Ring of Glory Wrestling Proudly Presents…

ROG The Great Commission

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the wrestling blog that puts the “holy” in “holier than thou”, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have found in our grand search of the internet, a show that cried out to be reviewed like perhaps none other that we have ever seen. That’s right, tonight we’re reviewing the one and only show ever put on by Vince Russo’s Christian wrestling company, Ring of Glory. Now, if there’s one thing we want to make clear right off the top it’s this. I know that we have many Christian readers, and the intent of this review is not to mock Christianity or make you feel uncomfortable about how your faith is being treated in any way. Your faith is your business, and none of ours. However what we WILL do, is see just exactly what kind of bizarre circus a Vince Russo booked religious wrestling show will turn into, especially when the biggest star on it is X-Pac of all people. So if you feel like you’re likely to be offended by our review and (let’s be honest) open mockery of this show, then by all means stop reading here, and we’ll respect that decision. For everybody else, we’re going to have a fine old time, and to do so we’ll not only have Mrs. Cewsh on board, but also her sister, the Turnip Queen from last year's Summerslam review, who will be watching her very first wrestling show outside of the WWE. It’s too late to pity her, the damage is already done.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »