The 1st Annual CR Year End Awards

Welcome cats and kittens to the very first annual Cewsh Reviews End Of Year Awards extravaganza. Now if you're a good little member of the Vice Brigade, you already read Ms. Cewsh's awards last week and got an idea for how this sort of thing goes, but just in case, here's a refresher We've reviewed dozens of matches and shows from all over the world this year to come to these conclusions, so if you were wondering whether or not we pulled them entirely out of our asses, well, probably not. You know, depending on whether or not we were feeling lazy that day.

The basic idea, for those of you late to the party, is that all three of us will use the same awards from the first two categories (Good and Bad), and then go off on whatever wackiness we want for the final category (The aptly named Tanooki). The complicated bits are the Best and Worst Wrestler of the Year awards, so listen up. I took the scores I gave every single match had this year, and averaged the scores of every eligible wrestler. To become eligible you must have wrestled at least 3 matches that we reviewed.

By the end of the process there were over 140 candidates for Best and Worst, and you can do the math for yourself by downloading this handy copy of the scoring sheet. The wrestlers are ranked in order by the their average scores from the Best of the Year, to the bitter end.

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Alright, everybody good? Nobody fall asleep during that? Well then let's let down the curtains, fire up the band, and get this jungle party started, motherfuckers!

The Good:

(Best Reviewed) Match of the Year:

John Cena vs. Edge - Last Man Standing - WWE Backlash

Favorite Match of the Year:

Legacy vs. D-Generation X - WWE Summerslam

Wrestler of the Year:
Hiroshi Tanahashi

Favorite Wrestler of the Year:

CM Punk

Diva of the Year:

Tara

Favorite Diva of the Year:

Beth Phoenix

Show of the Year:

WWE No Way Out

Best Mic Skills of the Year:
CM Punk

Best Gimmick of the Year:

"The Viper" Randy Orton

I Hear Voices In My Head, They Council Me, They Understand, They Talk To Me.

Best Entrance:

The Main Event Mafia

Rookie of the Year:

Drew McIntyre

The Bad:

Worst (Reviewed) Match of the Year:

Vickie Guerrero vs. Santina - Hog Pen Match - WWE Extreme Rules

Least Favorite Match of the Year:

Shane McMahon vs. Randy Orton - WWE No Way Out

Worst Wrestler of the Year:

Toru Makabe

Least Favorite Wrestler of the Year:

Mick Foley

Worst Diva of the Year:

Sojourner Bolt

Least Favorite Diva of the Year:

ODB

Worst Mic Skills of the Year:

Rhino


Worst Gimmick of the Year:

"Nation of Violence" Samoa Joe


Worst Entrance of the Year:

Matt Hardy

Veteran Most in Need of Retirement:

Sting (Better Late Than Never)


The Tanooki

Best Vice and Cewsh Impersonators:

Masada and Tank


Gif of The Year

Michelle McCool Pwns Melina


Err...Other Gif Of The Year

Jenna Morrasca Pwns All Males In the Viewing Audience


Best Excuse Vice Gave Me This Year:

The Midgar Zolom Steals Vice


Best Picture We Used Even Though It Made No Sense.

Kittens Rule


Moment of the Year

Us Reviewing This Without Killing Ourselves.

Alright, that'll do it for me this year, kiddos. Stay tuned next week for Vice's Awards Gala, and stayed tuned through the year to come for some new ideas, some crazy shows, and an endless supply of wit and wisdom from your beloved Cewsh Reviews staff. So from all of us here at the Headquarters, we wish you a Happy Holidays and an exciting New Year.

And cake. Fucking right we wish you cake.