Or crack. Whichever's cheaper.
5. WWE Raw 8/10/2001 - The Rock and Chris Jericho vs. Rob Van Dam and Shane McMahon.
Wayyyyy back before the was even a Cewsh and Vice, much less a Ms. Cewsh, Vice and I were simply two kids who didn't know each other much and were stuck in a history class together filled with the kind of people who think President John Adams is the guy who makes that awesome beer. As a result, since we vaguely knew each other, we became tentative acquaintances. But the moment where we actually became friends is when it spilled out that we were both wrestling fans, a fact we were both surprised to learn about the other. Indeed, it was this match that really kicked off the friendship that would culminate in us yelling at each other about John Cena every Tuesday morning. Notably it was the seemingly small event of Shane McMahon bulldogging my favorite wrestler Chris Jericho on the steps that he lived to mock me about, going so far as to draw me an awesome picture of this allegedly glorious event.
Yep, the whole thing start with us cracking on each other from the very beginning. We come by it naturally.
4. WWE Survivor Series 2001 - Winner Take All Match.
Being friends is one thing, but getting to the part where we review shows is another. That road started here, as for the first time, we actually ordered a PPV at his house and watched it together. There was no reviewing, though judgments were certainly pronounced, and during the main event, arguably one of the most important matches of all time, we did actually turn on an episode of Jackass and watch that instead, but this was the beginning of the two of us watching wrestling together. A thing which has remained common in all the years since, to the point where doing the reviews almost just became a transcription of our AIM chats.
Still though, Jackass? Shit man. Being 16 makes you make some bad decisions.
3. WWE Summerslam 2005 - Grudge Match - Matt Hardy vs. Edge.
Its all well and good to talk about Cewsh and Vice and how things led us down the path to reviewing, but since there wouldn't be a Cewsh Reviews without the lovely Ms. Cewsh, she deserves her moment in the sun here as well. See, back when she and I first got together, I started exposing my love of wrestling to her little by little, trying not to scare her off with my massive nerddom. She nodded politely most of the time, but nothing about it really grabbed her, until one night while I was watching Raw I heard her say "Oooh, who's HE?!". The man she was referring to was Edge, and this just so happened to be right smack in the middle of an arena full of "We Want Matt" chants.
In explaining that story to her, I saw the light of interest spark in her eyes, and from then on it was all downhill for her as she started down the road of becoming a huge wrestling fan all on her own. This match, though, was the one that clinched it, as she loved the feud and the craziness so much that we simply had to buy it, and it was the first, but not the last, show that we bought and watched together.
And then we had some sex, and she called me "Edge" about 400 times, and "Lita" at least once. Totally worth it.
Being friends is one thing, but getting to the part where we review shows is another. That road started here, as for the first time, we actually ordered a PPV at his house and watched it together. There was no reviewing, though judgments were certainly pronounced, and during the main event, arguably one of the most important matches of all time, we did actually turn on an episode of Jackass and watch that instead, but this was the beginning of the two of us watching wrestling together. A thing which has remained common in all the years since, to the point where doing the reviews almost just became a transcription of our AIM chats.
Still though, Jackass? Shit man. Being 16 makes you make some bad decisions.
3. WWE Summerslam 2005 - Grudge Match - Matt Hardy vs. Edge.
Its all well and good to talk about Cewsh and Vice and how things led us down the path to reviewing, but since there wouldn't be a Cewsh Reviews without the lovely Ms. Cewsh, she deserves her moment in the sun here as well. See, back when she and I first got together, I started exposing my love of wrestling to her little by little, trying not to scare her off with my massive nerddom. She nodded politely most of the time, but nothing about it really grabbed her, until one night while I was watching Raw I heard her say "Oooh, who's HE?!". The man she was referring to was Edge, and this just so happened to be right smack in the middle of an arena full of "We Want Matt" chants.
In explaining that story to her, I saw the light of interest spark in her eyes, and from then on it was all downhill for her as she started down the road of becoming a huge wrestling fan all on her own. This match, though, was the one that clinched it, as she loved the feud and the craziness so much that we simply had to buy it, and it was the first, but not the last, show that we bought and watched together.
And then we had some sex, and she called me "Edge" about 400 times, and "Lita" at least once. Totally worth it.
2. ROH Unforgettable - Kenta Kobashi and Homicide vs. Samoa Joe and Low Ki.
(Also, I apologive for the video. Its the only one I could find.)
KOBASHIIIIII! Before we were the well informed pillars of wrestling knowledge that we pretend to be today, we were just young men finding things out on our own, and Japanese wrestling, while known about, was something of a mystery to us. Hell, Ring of Honor was somewhat of a mystery to me personally. Vice loved it, and had gone and seen Austin Aries beat Samoa Joe for the title, and called it one of the coolest experiences of his life, so we were set to go to another show together. In the interim we were introduced to a man called Kenta Kobashi, who was so awesome that speaking his NAME is a ward against the weaker cancers. When we saw he wrestled Samoa Joe in the match of the year for that year, we were blown away. When we found out that he was wrestling again within driving distance, we were there man. We were fucking there.
What resulted was one of the coolest experiences of MY life, as I learned more about Japanese and Independent wrestling in one night than I had ever learned before that, and I got to see some amazing matches. But when that main event started it was all over for me. Wrestling took me over at that moment, and it turned from a nice hobby into a borderline obsession that still burns to this day.
I mean, its fucking KOBASHI. The man gave cancer the middle finger and has getting dropped on his head THE SAME YEAR. If you were that awesome, these reviews might have been about you.
What resulted was one of the coolest experiences of MY life, as I learned more about Japanese and Independent wrestling in one night than I had ever learned before that, and I got to see some amazing matches. But when that main event started it was all over for me. Wrestling took me over at that moment, and it turned from a nice hobby into a borderline obsession that still burns to this day.
I mean, its fucking KOBASHI. The man gave cancer the middle finger and has getting dropped on his head THE SAME YEAR. If you were that awesome, these reviews might have been about you.
1. IWA:MS Ted Petty Invitational 2008
Finally, all of that stuff led, unerringly, to this. One night I couldn't fall asleep so I decided to tackle this 5 hour monstrosity in one night. Getting bored by this about halfway, I for some reason decided to do a fun little review thing to document the ridiculous things I was seeing. When I posted it, the response was overwhelmingly positive. So I roped Vice into doing one. That one was less positive (due the it being a show only its mother could love) so Ms. Cewsh jumped in on a review. Then Vice came back to the fold as a huge waves of support rolled in for all three of us to continue down this road. A year later, and here we are.
To think, all of this got started thanks to a show that was main evented by Drake Younger. It just goes to show, boys and girls, no matter how bad you are at something, you still may possess the power to inspire someone. Even if what you're inspiring them to do is mock you for the rest of your life.
Oh, and yes that IS Egotistico Fantastico in that video, and yes he IS the single worst wrestler ever to lace up a pair of boots. He inspired nothing but venom and hatred, and the true inspiration for these reviews was my desire to tell someone other than Vice just how absolutely awful he was. True story.
Suck on that you Ego Fanny blubbercunt you. Suck on it hard.
Well that'll do it for this jaunt down memory lane. Without these matches and what they meant for us, we wouldn't be here and neither would you. When you look at it like that, maybe there's a little Marty McFly in all of us. Just not as much as there is in his mother.
I hope.
So until next time, kiddos, have a good life, make the right choices, and for fuck's sake, close your browser window. Your boss is watching!
To think, all of this got started thanks to a show that was main evented by Drake Younger. It just goes to show, boys and girls, no matter how bad you are at something, you still may possess the power to inspire someone. Even if what you're inspiring them to do is mock you for the rest of your life.
Oh, and yes that IS Egotistico Fantastico in that video, and yes he IS the single worst wrestler ever to lace up a pair of boots. He inspired nothing but venom and hatred, and the true inspiration for these reviews was my desire to tell someone other than Vice just how absolutely awful he was. True story.
Suck on that you Ego Fanny blubbercunt you. Suck on it hard.
Well that'll do it for this jaunt down memory lane. Without these matches and what they meant for us, we wouldn't be here and neither would you. When you look at it like that, maybe there's a little Marty McFly in all of us. Just not as much as there is in his mother.
I hope.
So until next time, kiddos, have a good life, make the right choices, and for fuck's sake, close your browser window. Your boss is watching!
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