WCW Starrcade 1997

Cewsh: Fun fact! This is our most popular review from the first year of Cewsh Reviews and it contains no pictures whatsoever. 

You'd almost think that this show had some kind of controversial ending or something.

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World Championship Wrestling Proudly Presents…

WCW STARRCADE 1997

Welcome cats and kittens to yet another Wrestlemania-month installment of Cewsh Reviews… Part of Mania-month is our attempt to review the biggest event of every major wrestling company. We did the NJPW show, Wrestlemania 14, HUSTLEMANIA, TNA’s Destination X (the Wrestlemania of shitty shows), and now we have what is arguably the biggest and most important show in wrestling history. Sting vs. Hogan. The signing of Bret Hart. Everything was banging on all cylinders for WCW, and the company had never and would never be hotter than on this night.

Cewsh has never seen much WCW, and Vice hasn’t watched it in years and years, and when we read this card we eyed it rather dubiously. But we’re going to give it a whirl and see what we think, and see if we can answer a few questions. How will WCW’s biggest show turn out? How does it all stand up viewing it today? Will I contract Attitude Era Syndrome and drool over Bret Hart promos? Only one way to find out...

Segment 1 – OPENING VIDEO FEVER!

Cewsh: The video hypes up how mysterious and cool Sting is, and man, even 12 years later, this shit still looks pretty cool. Sting in the rain hanging out of windows, stepping on a picture of Hogan and picking up his signature baseball bat. Cool stuff. Super 90s, but cool nonetheless. Vice made a very good point, though. If Sting is the guy they can never find, never interview, never get a shot of, how did they convince him to pose for this extended and choreographed video? He must have been in a good mood that day.

Segment 2 – WCW Crusierweight Championship – Eddy (Don’t Break My Heart. My Achy Breaky Heart.) Gurrerro vs. Dean (Facial Expressions Are Overrated) Malenko.

Vice: The show is off to a potential hot, great start with Eddie Guerrero taking on Dean Malenko. Eddie is Eddie. Malenko is a different story here. People tend to overrate him so much that people drop nuclear warheads on Deano Machino, destroying him so much that he somehow loops around the spectrum and becomes underrated. Dean has very little personality (IT WAS HIS FUCKING GIMMICK), but the dude knows how to work. And the fans are going nuts for him. So, the Dean hatred is often lost on me. Well, he’s short and has stupid hair. And he kinda looks like Monk, though I might argue that being a plus.

Eddie and Dean work very well together. Everything about them just clicks, and they’ve had tons of good matches together regardless of the promotion. Sure they’re not five star classics, but if you need a good match on your show, you’re pretty much guaranteed one by putting these two together. There was some excellent character work, along with great action. Eddie worked Dean’s leg like a fucking champ, and while Dean tried to push through the pain, all the work eventually caught up to him and was his downfall. Not the best match I’ve seen from these two, but it was very enjoyable and an excellent start to this event.

I haven’t watched a lot of Eddie matches since his passing, and I’m not going to get emotional or anything like that, but damn he was a good wrestler. And it’s always a shame watching these old events and knowing a lot of them are dead. They showed Chris Adams among a slew of other wrestlers, and he’s dead too. I believe he was stabbed to death.

I’ve completely forgotten the majority of the card, so I have no idea what’s up next. I’ll be extremely impressed if it doesn’t go downhill now.


Cewsh: God, the days of these matches is long gone, but I miss them a whole lot. It wasn’t so much that all of the Crusierweight matches in WCW were great, Silver King was in some of those matches, it was just that the guys all knew how to work so well, and had such diverse styles and so much experience. Its entirely unique in wrestling history, and its really fun to watch. That said, I’m clearly in the minority there, as, even if the match has my attention, the announcers clearly can’t be bothered to pay attention to the match for 5 consecutive seconds.

Then again, we’re talking about the announcing dream team of Mike Tenay (My 5th favorite announcer in TNA), Tony Schivavone (My 5th favorite announcer named Tony Schiavone) and Dusty Rhodes (5th on my list of people to murder horribly before I die).

This match is a great little back and forth affair, that functions as a fantastic opening match to get the pace going fast and strong for the rest of the show. These two guys don’t actually have bad matches, they probably wouldn’t know one if they saw it. Eddy especially was just so, so good at this point that its almost not even fair to compare him to other guys. There should almost be a little side counter for Eddy matches, so that regular people wouldn’t have to live to his standards. Perhaps we could call it the Tanahashi meter. I’m nothing if not consistent.

Not much else to say really. Great match, great opener, strong start to the show. Maybe this show will be better than I expect?


 
82 out of 100

Cewsh's Seal of Approval

Eddy Guerrerro over Dean Malenko following a Frog Splash.

Segment 2 – Say Hello To The Bad Guy. I’d Love To. Which One Is He?

Cewsh: Scott Hall wanders out and cuts a promo that just exudes coolness and pimpishness (not words), and I’m instantly confused. The crowd leans on his every catchphrase, and echoes his every word. He’s a heel? Seriously? Because he seems like an enormous face with huge fan support. Not to mention every single person in the crowd is wearing an NWO shirt.

Anyway, he tries to explain to the audience that Kevin Nash isn’t going to be able to fight The Giant (Big Show) tonight, because he’s in the hospital, and tells the Giant that he (The Giant) wins by forfeit. The big man then comes to the ring and beats the shit out of Hall before giving him a Jacknife Powerbomb and wandering off. Again, who’s the face? I’m very confused here.

Face or heel, Scott Hall was the man at this point, and it’s a crime that he never got the World title. Its also probably crimes that resulted in him not getting it. OH!


Vice: I really miss the days when Hall wasn’t a massive lunatic druggie. Well, he probably still was in 1997, but this was 12 years ago before the years of abuse truly caught up to him. The dude is just so fucking entertaining. As a young mark during this time period when I watched it live, I remember hating him because he was a bad guy, aligned with the other bad guys of the NWO. I disliked them a lot, really. But now, looking back as an adult with knowledge of the business and the workers, Hall was just fantastic at what he did. Such a great talent.

Anywho, The Giant (Big Show) comes out during this segment and pounds Hall into oblivion. Over the years, Show has gained quite a bit of weight and has had a number of haircuts, but face-wise he has not changed one bit. He seriously looks exactly the same, which is quite fascinating.

Up next is a six man tag team match featuring the NWO (including Vincent), and I’m not happy about that. I’m also really fucking fed up with Microsoft Word not letting me type “NWO” without correcting it to NOW, which makes me have to constantly go back and correct their correction. I am happy about two new episodes of Hell’s Kitchen tonight which are downloading now.

If this PPV is shit, I have Gordon Ramsay to look forward to. Yes I’m a woman and watch Hell’s Kitchen. Ramsay is magical. I wish he was as great with wrestling as he was cooking. Fuck Kitchen Nightmares, I’d pay to have him walk into Orlando Studios, pick up a TNA DVD and throw it in Dixie Carter’s face while shouting “WHAT THE &*#% IS THIS!?!? YOU CALL THIS A *#@^ING WRESTLING SHOW!? *#&!^ ME!”. I think that’s the only thing that can save TNA right now. But, alas, he is a chef.

Cewsh is at the store getting cough drops, hence the Ramsay ramble. He’s still there, and I have absolutely nothing to do. So really, I can ramble some more. Two of the most underrated things in America right now: Fruit by the Foot and Go-Gurt. Seriously, you can’t fuck with either of them and they don’t get any love at all. Ever had frozen Go-Gurt? Delicious.

Cewsh is back. Playtime is over. Time to watch a Vincent match.

Segment 3 – Vincent (The Walking Punchline), Scott (One Of The Biggest Wrestlers In Japaense History) Norton, and (Got Fired By TNA For Having Cancer) Konnan vs. The Steiner (Roid Rampage Would Have Been A Better Name) Brothers and Ray (I Ran Your Daddy Over With A Tractor…) Traylor.

Cewsh: Konnan never turns up when he’s announced, and he is, instead, replaced by Macho Man Randy Savage. I appreciate this alteration, even if I’m somewhat mystified by it. Savage had nothing to do better on this show than tag with Vincent? Seriously? I mean, this is a fairly stacked card I suppose, and the Steiner Brothers have always been top names and great workers, but still, Savage is an enormous name here, and, I must reiterate, he is tag teaming with Vincent.

Speaking of Savage’s tag team partners, I have to take a second to comment on them. Vincent has really become the biggest punchline in 90s wrestlers, and part of it is probably because he looks more like just some dude in the ring than any other wrestler that I have ever seen. He’s a skinny little black guy, with no real musclemass, and he just looks like a sketchy homeless guy that Hollywood Hogan is paying in sandwiches. He’s the kind of guy who you suspect might say “Where the white bitches be at?” without the slightest trace of irony. Though, to be fair, that is also what makes him awesome.

Scott Norton, on the other hand, is a guy that was always portrayed as kind of a scrub jobber in WCW, but who worked most of his career in the far east working for New Japan Pro Wrestling as a gigantic star. This is a guy who won the IWGP title at the height of its prestige before they started giving that title to every jackass off the street who could do a keylock, and its weird seeing him be such a scrub here, when he’s such a legitimate badass over there to this day. This whole show is like that. Everyone who I understand to be a big star overseas, or a big star today is a nothing, nobody at this point, and all of the guys who are fading stars way past their primes now, who everyone complains about now are the guys who are on top here. Its kind of surreal to watch.

There was also a match here, of course. Most of it was dominated by the Steiners, with Vincent especially taking a ton of punishment from both guys, and I was surprised to see how little offense Savage got in on the Steiners for the most part, and also just how little that Ray Traylor factored into this match at all. Just kind of a wacky match, with Scott Steiner laying waste to everything and everyone, and everyone else just sort of being there. I can absolutely see where the big main event run for Scott Steiner comes from later, though. He looks like an absolute star here, even if his shoulders look more like tumors than muscles.

72 out of 100

Vice: It’s hilarious seeing Steiner like this. I’m so used to him having the short blond hair, and the big blond goatee with the black stripe. So seeing him with a full head of brown hair and looking relatively human as opposed to the mutant he is today is just a shock. Ray Traylor is in this. He is dead. Miss Elizabeth is at ringside. She is dead. Savage looks dead, but actually isn’t. He made a rap album, you know.

The Steiners are each wearing one black boot and one white boot to go along with their white singlets. It’s extremely distracting, and I often find myself fixated on their boots than what’s actually going on in the match. You can’t tell by text, but I am actually not looking at what I’m typing right now. I am, in fact, fixated on their boots. I hear people screaming and Dusty Rhodes, Mike Tenay and Tony Schiavonne on commentary, but all I see are their boots. I can’t judge this match. I really don’t know much about what happened.

The NWO over the Double Hard Bastards following a Flying Elbow Drop on Scott Steiner by Randy Savage.

Segment 4 – JJ Dillon Is A Twat.

Cewsh: Mean Gene Okerlund is standing by to interview the President (or Commisioner or something) of WCW, JJ Dillon, and wants to find out who the referee is going to be for the match between Sting and Hogan later tonight. He announces that they drew out of a hat, and the man they chose is Nick Patrick. You may or may not know Nick Patrick as the referee who joined the NWO and helped them win all of their matches by nefarious means. I SMELL SHENANIGANS.

Also, let me point out that even if JJ Dillon was a member of the Four Horsemen (even if he was technically the 5th), he looks like a twat, talks like a twat, and quacks like a twat, and every interview of Guest Booker DVD I’ve seen involving him makes him out to be a fantastic moron of no substance whatsoever. I don’t know if he’s still alive or what, but he’s one of those people in wrestling who never quite go away despite being worthless in nearly every way.

Fuck you JJ Dillon. Not for any specific reason. Just because I hold irrational grudges. And while I’m on the subject FUCK YOU DUSTY RHODES. I sincerely hope that Dusty Rhodes contracts AIDS. Not the nice kind either. Like TNA AIDS. TNAIDS? Hmm…

Segment 5 – Goldberg (GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLDBERG) vs. Steve “Mongo” McMichael (Mongo Is Better Than Anything I’ve Could Come Up With).

Vice: Let me just say this now. I fucking LOVED Goldberg back in the day. The second I saw him I was in awe. The dude was a fucking monster and just killed his opponents. Yeah I knew it wasn’t real, but fuck. The dude tore through everyone like a hot knife through butter and I loved that as a kid. I still think his WCW run was amazing up until the end when it got all nasty. I was on the fucking edge of my seat when he was up against Hogan and I remember jumping off said seat when he pinned Hogan for the title.

He’s certainly no Guerrero in the ring, but he was the right man for the job and was booked extremely well. His entrance music was epic. Once they added the pyro and his hike from the locker room, Goldberg was someone who simply could not be ignored. Loved it. Still do.

The match was what you’d expect from a Goldberg/Mongo confrontation. It was a solid match, but nothing more. Goldberg had a really cool dropkick, and I was always a mark for his nifty leglock thing that he’d bust out from time to time. He was green, sure, and was carried throughout the majority of his matches, but he wasn’t a bad worker. He knew what was up. Underrated, I say.

Mongo is fat and ugly. He’s awful, really. I can’t fucking believe he was one of the Four Horsemen. Wait, was he? Pretty sure.


Cewsh: So this is bound to be a technical wrestling classic.

I don’t really understand Goldberg. He’s got a great look, good intensity, does a few moves very convincingly, and I always thought he was pretty cool, but I just simply don’t understand how he got as gigantic as he did. Less talented people have gotten over, absolutely, but Goldberg was one of the biggest stars in the history of wrestling at one point, and looking back on it now, I just really don’t see how this guy with all his limitations got that far, especially with all the pitfalls in his path on the road there in WCW. I have to give him credit, too, once he got over, he stayed over for years and years, even through his lackluster WWE run.

Its funny, really. A guy like Goldberg is a really great example of how I view wrestle differently from having missed the Attitude Era when it happened. Like when Brock Lesnar debuted. Everyone I talked to for a year said nothing but how much Lesnar was like Goldberg, but I honestly had no idea who that was, so to me Lesnar was fresh and exciting. And I’m sure there were people who said that Goldberg was like Austin, or the Road Warriors or whatever, but to fans of WCW, Goldberg was king, man. Goldberg was IT. And since most wrestling fans that I interact with were fans during this era, it really changes the texture of our stances on a lot of issues. It’s the little things man, the little things.

Also, Goldberg has tiny feet.

Oh, the match? What match? Please let me direct your attention elsewhere for your own good. Goldberg was an okay worker against the right opponent, (Raven, DDP, the Rock), but whenever he was put up against another brawler, it was just disgusting to watch, and Steve McMichael never had anything even closely resembling a watchable match in his entire career. This match was icky. They tried, and Mongo took lots of bumps for the somewhat smaller Goldberg, but this is a match you’d want to hear to results of, not watch yourself.

52 out of 100

Goldberg over McMichael following a Jackhammer.

Segment 6 – Raven’s Rules - Perry (50 Cent Aint Got Nothin’ On Me) Saturn vs. Chris (Future Topic of Debate) Benoit.

Cewsh: Raven cuts a promo before the match. It is good. Benoit cuts a promo before the match. It is bad.

Now Saturn is a member of Raven’s Flock, and Raven and Benoit are feuding. Since this is the case, you would be right in assuming that this match itself isn’t really the story here, but instead its more about the tension between Benoit and Raven outside of the ring. Benoit gets thrown out of the ring and is instantly assaulted by the entire Flock, including something called “Sick Boy”, and a little baby Billy Kidman who does a shooting star press off of the ring apron to the floor which always looks awesome. Its basically just an all around ass kicking of Benoit by the Flock here, with Raven’s Rules making everything perfectly legal.

Perry Saturn was never really a fantastic wrestler, from anything I saw. He was solid, and could occasionally be impressive, but he often lacked a real coherent story behind his matches when he worked with lesser workers. Here though, naturally, there is no such problem because Benoit was far from a lesser worker, and does all the work for Saturn, bumping around like a madman, making Saturn look like a beast.

As you would be intelligent to have expected, the Flock has its say in this match before the end. Will the nefarious Raven force Benoit to succumb to his evil plan? Will the heroic Chris Benoit overcome the odds and get his hands on Raven?

Who the fuck am I? Jeeves?

76 out of 100


Vice: Ok, let’s get this out of the way right now. Saturn hasn’t been spotted anywhere for over a year as far as I’m aware. He very well could be dead too. Benoit is dead. I don’t want this to spark a giant Benoit debate, but I’ll always consider him one of the best despite what happened.

Raven is just awesome. I loved all his WCW stuff, and I adored The Flock. I thought it was so cool back in the day. Kidman is all nice and young, too. And thin. Not the fat fuck we saw a few years ago. Yeah, he used to be fucking awesome back in the day. I never ever got tired of seeing his shooting star press. It was the coolest thing in the world to me as a kid. Shit, I still love shooting star presses.

This match was very good. Saturn is weird for me. I’ve never thought of him as a great worker, and I’ve never been a big fan of his.. yet, every match I see him in impresses me. He’s really solid, and I never expect him to do crazy flips and moonsaults and shit, but he hits them with ease. And they’re lovely, too. I should probably go back and watch more of his stuff. And Benoit is awesome in the ring, as usual. Second best match of the night so far.

Wait.. Eddie and Benoit being the best parts of a WCW show? You don’t say.

Perry Saturn over Chris Benoit following Rings of Saturn after Flock interference.

Segment 7 – Buff (The Fluff) Bagwell vs. Lex (The Chex Mix.) Luger.

Vice: FUCK YES! LUGER VS. BAGWELL! Can’t fucking wait.

I might be using my This Fucking Sucks card on this match, just so I don’t have to give myself a migraine trying to review this potential monstrosity. Well, actually, I’m just going to make comments as I watch. Lex Luger looks retarded. Something about him is just awful. He’s muscular, but his muscles look stupid. He has a retarded nose. His hair is ridiculous. His outfit is awful. He just looks like your stereotypical wrestler. The king of generic. If you ask a kid “what does a wrestler look like?”, they’d probably draw a picture of Luger. Or the kid might yell out “I DON’T KNOOOOW!!!”

Actually, come to think of it.. that promo is more much entertaining that this match. It’s also more entertaining than anything I could ever write. So, watch it:

Ok, so this match is painfully bad. So I’m going to talk about something else.

In life, we have buttons, zippers and hooks (if you’re Amish). And Velcro. We need something else. I’m really bored of all of them, and none of them are perfect. Buttons are too easy to accidentally rip off, and over time they can become awful. Zippers can become useless way too easily if you’re not careful. And they’re a pain in the ass to fix. Hooks are awful. Velcro makes that awful sound and, well, it’s Velcro. Why have we made zero progress on inventing something new? I mean, when was the last actual technological achievement when it came to clothing? I want something different. Now, I don’t know what COULD make clothing different. I think someone should come up with a magical idea and run it by Obama. It’s 2009! 2010 should kick off with something new. Futuristic shit. Maybe flying cars and hologram clothes or something.

Buff Bagwell won the match apparently. It went on waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too long.

Hehe, see what I did there?


Cewsh: Here’s my theory on this match.

I posted on the site a little while ago, mentioning that I was doing a review tonight. Assuming, somehow, that this is the show I’d be reviewing, someone who reports on Rajah to TNA mentioned this to Jeff Jarrett. Remembering quite well my review of TNA’s Destination X, Jarrett used his time machine (yes, he has a time machine, why are you questioning me?) and went back to 1997. He ran into Lex Luger in a Piggly Wiggly in Amaretto, Texas, and asked Luger to pitch a feud with Bagwell at Starrcade because a) It would be good business, and b) Because it would actually make Luger look like the better worker for once.

Luger pitched it to Bischoff, who owed him a favor of a mysterious nature. Then Jarrett traveled back to the present and waited with his laptop to see me attempt to review and justify the existence of this match. Well its not going to work Jarrett! I’m onto you! You can take my dignity, but you can’t make me actually do play by play for a 25 minute Buff Bagwell match. HaHA!

23 out of 100

Buff Bagwell over Lex Luger following a rollup after interference from the NWO.

Segment 8 – WCW United States Championship – Curt (Mr. Permfect) Hennig vs. Diamond Dallas (Perm) Page.

Cewsh: Interestingly enough, Page is evidently a last second replacement for Ric Flair in this match. So here we have the biggest and most important care in WCW history, and the people who paid for it have already suffered two bait and switches already tonight. Kind of says it all for WCW doesn’t it?

As to the two competitors themselves, aside from them being two of the most tragic examples of 90s hair that I have ever seen, they’re both great workers. Page was always underrated in the ring, and Hennig is pretty much as good of a wrestler as it is possible to be without simply transcending your place on he card with your talent. This match also shows the flipside of WCW at this time.

This match isn’t really very important on this card, despite it being a title match, and it wasn’t even actually intended to happen. Yet when it comes right down to it the depth of talent they have at their disposal is so vast and amazing, that the matches they book can be huge and awesome matches, even when they don’t bother to build to them or even give them any hype at all. They couldn’t do any wrong. At least, not yet they couldn’t.

The match itself is pretty good. These guys don’t work the same style, but Hennig is a natural chameleon in the ring, adapting to the style of whomever he works with. Page brings his working stiff enthusiasm and determination, and it makes for a solid matchup between two great upper midcard guys. Just a solid, good midcard match, with not a negative word to say about it. The ending was a nice moment, and it gave the crowd something to smile about, and that’s about all you can really ask for here.

77 out of 100


Vice: Fuck. I totally forgot how bad of a look DDP had back in WCW.

- Old

- Not in very good shape

- Awkward looking body

- Retarded, nasty homeless man hair

- Faded tattoos

- Tight jeans

Good worker, though. And was banging Kimberly, possibly other Nitro Girls, and, according to many, Bischoff’s wife. Talk about having your cake and eating it too. Or is it pie in this case? Hennig is Hennig. I don’t think he’s as great as many people say, but there’s no denying that he was a hell of a talent. Past tense because.. yeah.

Solid match overall. DDP’s Diamond Cutter is such an awesome move, and it puts Hennig out of commission long enough to get the 3 count and capture the US title. Self high five!

Diamond Dallas Page over Curt Hennig with the Diamond Cutter.

Segment 9 – Winner Gets Nitro! - Eric (Greatest Hell Who Ever Lived) Bischoff (NWO) w/ Scott (Sobriety Is For Pussies) Hall vs. Larry (80’s Sitcom Dad) Zbyszko (WCW) with Special Referee Bret (Zen Is Creaming His Panties) Hart.

Vice: Ok, so.. WCW acquires Bret Hart after the Montreal Screwjob.. and here he is at the biggest show of the year for WCW. And what is he doing, you ask? He’s the special guest referee in a match pitting Bischoff against Larry Zbyszko for, I think, control of Nitro. Yeah it’s a big match, but is this really the best use of Bret Hart?..or did he have some sort of no compete clause, and this was a loophole?

Bischoff is in incredible shape. Black belt in karate. He’s a boss I’d never want to fuck with. Oh yeah, remember when he was throwing out challenges to Vince McMahon, telling him to come kick his ass? I hate to say it, but Vince did the right thing. Bischoff would have ruined him. Zbyszko is just old. Bret Hart is favoring Bischoff. Zbyszko is old.

This match fucking sucks. Did I mention that Zbyszko is old? But hey, he has experience. He rope-a-doped Bischoff. Scott Hall loads Bischoff’s shoe up with a piece of metal while Bret Hart isn’t looking. Bischoff goes for a kick, and the piece of metal flies 70 feet into the crowd before impact. Hart, who has been favoring Bischoff all match long, goes on a rampage and beats the shit out of Bischoff and Hall. Swerve?

Zbyszko wins. And he’s old. WCW beats the NWO. The first replay highlight of the match is Zbyszko (who is old) giving Bischoff a suplex. The second is Bischoff flinging the piece of metal into the crowd, showing that not only did the metal not hit the old Zbyszko, but his kick barely connected at all. Great camera work. I think TNA copied this style from WCW. This match sucked, by the way. Buuuut since there was so much on the line, kayfabe-wise, I really can’t complain. Despite sucking, it was a big match. In a real fight, Bischoff would have dominated.


Cewsh: I don’t care what anyone says, Eric Bischoff is an embarrassingly good looking man.

This match is pure spectacle. Bischoff was basically the biggest heel in wrestling at this point, and the idea of seeing him get his comeuppance from the disrespected legend in Zbyszko was actually a major drawing point for this show as I understand it. There’s a TON of posturing, and heel work from Bischoff, which just riles the crowd up to the boiling point, before Zbyszko ever gets his hands on Bischoff, but that makes it even better, as the crowd absolutely ignites when Zbyszko finally starts to whale on him.

Now another big part of this match is the fact that the new arrival Bret Hart starts showing somewhat heelish tendencies as the referee, alluding to his later joining of the NWO, I believe. All of it makes for a great entertaining spectacle, as two guys who wouldn’t otherwise likely have drawn a dime, manage to put together something both entertaining and lucrative because their characters are so fully formed and terrific at this point, Bischoff especially.

Dr. Z spends a lot of this match just annihilating Bisch with his wrestling skills, except that whenever Dr. Z really gets going, Hart steps in and warns him about using “choke holds”, where Bisch just throws all sorts of kicks with Larry in the ropes and otherwise. It actually surprised me, watching this, how good Bischoff was made to look, and how much of a credible threat he was portrayed as. In the end, though, shenanigans occurred, as you might well expect. But they were the good kind of shenanigans. This didn’t last long, and it lacked anything you call traditional wrestling, but it was just pure entertainment. Good stuff.

75 out of 100

Larry Zbyszko over Eric Bischoff via submission following interference by Bret Hart.

Segment 10 – World Heavyweight Championship – Hulk (His Face Is Recognized On All Sub Continents) Hogan vs. (The Crow Ripoff They Call) Sting.

Cewsh: Holy SHIT.

The enormity of this match is almost hard for me to understand not having watched WCW at the time. The year of build up. The Sting character. The Hogan character. Its all just so, so amazing and fantastic, and perfect. There are other matches throughout history where the hype is bigger than the match. There are a ton of matches where the build is bigger than the match. But they hype and build to this match were and are so incredible and unheard of that this match could never had lived up to all of it. I have heard people obsessively talk about this match, and I’ve heard people say this is the worst match in wrestling history. To find the truth, let’s take it part by part.

Part 1. The Build Up.

I have not witnessed the entire build to this match personally, so I’m basing this mostly off of what I’ve heard and clips I’ve seen. Basically though, this match was the build to end all build. Following a Wargames match against the NWO, Sting felt betrayed by his friend in WCW when they suspected him of being a member of the NWO. He then donned his now famous makeup and all black outfit, and began watching everything from the rafters of arenas all around the country.

Much speculation was made about which side he was on, as the NWO postured and assured everyone that Sting had joined their side. They even debuted and used an imposter Sting, that Sting promptly destroyed, as Sting made it clear that he was solidly on the side of WCW, the brand he helped keep afloat for so many years, and was set definitively against Hulk Hogan. As the months went by, Sting tried to get his hands on Hogan, as the NWO continued to run roughshod over the company almost uncontested. Despite a short title reign by Luger in the summer of that year, things looked almost hopeless for WCW, until Sting finally got his title shot against Hogan. With WCW’s last failing hopes in the hands of Sting, could Sting live up to their expectations and deliver long overdue justice to Hulk Hogan and the NWO?

Part 2. The Entrances.

Hogan is such a great dick heel in his entrance that its incredible. He has the crowd whipped into booing him before he even makes it to the ring, making things incredibly easy for Sting. Sting doesn’t need much help, however, as he comes out with one of the coolest and most dramatic entrances in wrestling history. I remember reading something, by Meltzer I think, where the person expressed disappointment that Sting walked out like a regular wrestler after all of the build up. I suppose I could see the point, but I simply didn’t feel that way watching it. Sting, looking so badass, walking slowly and solemnly to the ring, not to posture but simply there to see justice done is such a powerful image that it really stayed with me the whole time I was watching this. And Hogan in the ring, posturing to the crowd, pretending for all he was worth that he wasn’t afraid was played picture perfectly by Hogan. This match really felt like one of the biggest matches of all time.

Part 3. The Match.

The match. The match was so much better than it probably should have been. Hogan was generally fantastic in the ring at any point unless he was paired with someone who really complimented him, and Sting was generally hit or miss in the ring. Here though, everything just seemed to click. I cannot begin to say how much I love the way Sting played his role here. I’ve heard more criticism that Sting got beaten up by Hogan too much in this match, and I guess I can understand it, but Sting just took all of Hogan’s offense solemnly, never showing pain, never backing down, just waiting for his opportunity. Its like any good action movie. The hero always gets his ass kicked at first, and then makes the glorious comeback, and that absolutely is what happened here.

But as much as I want to rave about Sting, I want to carve into mountains my love of Hulk Hogan’s heel work here. His character work, and his mannerisms just light the crowd on fire every time, and he finds it in him to play the chickenshit heel with such definitive flair and commitment, that he’s almost unrecognizable from the 80’s and 90’s Hogan. He’s just so brilliant, and I don’t understand why he isn’t rated amongst the greatest heels in wrestling history. He simply gets it so incredibly well, and everything he does seems to matter and add to the match. I could watch him all day, I really could.

Part 4. The Match (2).

Aside from their character work, the match itself really is quite good. These guys bust their asses to put on a main event quality match, and Hogan especially does everything he knows how to do to make this make as entertaining as possible. I think that the match here gets buried underneath of the history of this match. Its understandable, but I think it certainly warrants another watch to anyone who hasn’t seen it since it occurred. Just for history’s sake.

Part 5. The Ending.

Ah, the ending. One of the most talked about events in professional wrestling history. For those of you who never read the internet before (I assume you’re reading this via book years after we post it on Rajah following our multimillion dollar book deal), I will explain the events in question. First Hogan hits Sting with the Leg Drop and pins him. Then, noted NWO stooge and evil referee, Nick Patrick counts the pin. It was, apparently, supposed to be a fast pin, but it wasn’t particularly fast. It wasn’t incredibly slow either. Just a count. Sting was pinned, and Hogan leaves the ring.

Bret Hart, who was at ringside, grabs the microphone and says that he won’t “Let this happen again.” He then grabs Nick Patrick and clearly accusing Patrick of utilizing a fast count. When Patrick protests, Hart drops him with a punch, grabs Hogan, and rolls him back into the ring. Then, Sting gives Hogan two Stinger Splashes, fights off the NWO who run down, and lock the Scorpion Deathlock of Hogan for a moment before Bret Hart calls for the submission victory. The bell rings, Sting’s hand is raised, the ring fills with WCW guys and everyone celebrates, much to the delight of the crowd.

That is an unbiased account of the events that took place. I watched them several times, and watched the count in slow motion numerous times, and that is what happened. Let there be no speculation as to any other story of the events.

My opinion on this? I feel like it has been overblown to an almost incomprehensible extent. The count was a normal count, and I can certainly see how it would have deflated the fans watching it to watch Sting seemingly lose clean, especially if they weren’t in a position to understand what Hart meant by (Not letting this happen again.” I can even see fans being a little leery on the idea that Hart could determine the winner of a match that he wasn’t scheduled to referee. But the actual ending to the match wasn’t that count. IMMEDIATELY after the pin by Patrick, Hart jumps in and stops events, sending Hogan back in to get the beating everyone paid to see, and then Sting submitted Hogan in exactly the feel good moment that it should have been.

If the crowd was overly bothered by the whole situation, I couldn’t tell, because they were going absolutely bananas as Sting hoisted the title. If they were affected by it, or deflated by it, they showed absolutely no sign of it.

Now. I wasn’t a fan back then, so I’m sure that my opinion is far different from those who lived this and were rooting for their hero Sting against the villain Hogan. But I honestly think that this event is blown wildly out of proportion by people. Hogan’s victory was never treated as the actual finish. Not for one second. And people got the feel good, heroic moment they wanted and paid for either way. I guess maybe it could have been handled better, and probably should have been. But these ridiculous statements about this match being the downfall of WCW, or the worst thing that ever happened in wrestling are so foreign to me after watching this match that I almost feel like I watched an entire different thing than they did.

I’m not going to let other people’s bias and issues with this match darken my view of it. And neither should any of you.

Part 6. The Score.

 
89 out of 100

Cewsh's Seal of Approval



Vice: Say what you will about Michael Buffer and his cheesiness and the occasional botched line—he makes matches seem out of this world huge. Yeah, he kicks the shit out of Lillian Garcia. And the Smackdown guy. And, yes, even Jeremy Borash—only when it comes to announcing though. Borash owns him in every other department. Well, maybe not in the “I look suave in a suit” department. Close, though.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.. Sting’s entrance makes this match. I’m usually not a fan of epic entrances, but this needed to be. WCW nailed it. The intro, the music, the lighting.. everything. If Sting was still like this nowadays, I’d be happy with him main eventing TNA. His cold stare, his mannerisms and that amazing aura he has. He’s just a wrestling character, but he actually seems legitimately terrifying. Fuck I wish this Sting was still around. Present day Sting can wrestle almost as well as old Sting, but he doesn’t have the personality. Or the look. That’s what made old Sting so incredible.

The match itself is really great for the most part. Sting is solid as a rock here, and Hogan has some amazing character work which is vastly underrated. It definitely felt like a huge match with a ton on the line. Sure it may not be a technical masterpiece, but I honestly think this match would go down as a classic if the last few minutes were changed around a bit.

This was Sting’s triumphant return to the ring. It was a massive feud. It was a gigantic encounter between two goliaths for the top prize in WCW. It didn’t need shenanigans. Hogan hits the leg drop, Sting kicks out at 2.9999999, Hogan looks on in disbelief, Sting powers his way back into the match and drops Hogan clean. That’s how it should have gone. However, Hogan hit the leg drop on Sting. Nick Patrick was apparently supposed to do a fast count, which leads to shenanigans. The problem was that he didn’t fast count. Hogan got all 3 slaps to the mat and legitimately won the match fair and square. But, Bret Hart was there to stop the timekeeper from ringing the bell.. which means that Hogan actually didn’t win the match and that it needs to be restarted. That makes complete sense, right?

So then the NWO gets in the ring and Sting fights them off. He slaps on the Scorpion Deathlock and Hogan gives up. It just felt so unnecessary. I’m guessing it was just Hogan being Hogan and protecting his image and legacy like he’s done for [strike]years[/strike] decades. Sting winning is still a wonderful feel-good moment, especially his celebration in the ring with all the other WCW talent, but the match is somewhat tainted by shenanigans.

A similar example of this is Punk vs. Joe III from Ring of Honor. Joe has Punk in his trademark choke, and the ref checks on Punk. Drops the arm once. Nada. Again. Nada. Arm goes down for the third time. Ref calls for the bell. Ricky Steamboat (yes, that Steamboat) grabs the timekeeper and demands he not ring the bell. He tells the ref to look at Punk as his fingers begin to twitch. He’s getting some life back in him. Punk, who has technically and officially lost the match, continues on. The fans all think “kdlsakslfshada.. Punk to win. Woo?”, but Joe says nah dude, obliterates poor Punker with some nasty suplexes and chokes him out for the victory. In this sense it really worked, because it made the fans think one thing and they hit them with something they weren’t expecting at all. Emotional rollercoaster. It was beautiful. In Sting/Hogan? Not so much.

Maybe a mark wouldn’t mind (and I don’t mean that in a bad way) and instead cheer their lungs out for Sting’s second chance, but it was too much for me. To throw TNA into this once again, it’s like their main events. If they go with something simple, it could work wonderfully. But every big match seems to have some sort of ref bump, run-in, shenanigans, screwjob.. something. Unnecessary.

It was still a lovely match though. I fucking wish the old Sting was around. Heel Hogan is rockin’ too.

Sting over Hulk Hogan following a Scorpion Deathlock.

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Cewsh’s Consequences:

Cewsh: This show was very interesting. Seeing shows from different eras from the ones your familiar with always are, and the stigma and history behind this show certainly helped to frame it as a place in history. I would imagine that your view of the main event really strongly influences your opinion of the show as a whole, but I think its pretty clear how I felt about that.

I really enjoyed this show all around. It was incredibly representative of WCW as a whole. Big name stars, fantastic wrestlers, weird decisions, crazy booking, and all the shenanigans that you can stomach. As for all the WCW/TNA comparisons, I can certainly see where they come from. I think TNA has wet dreams about a show like this though. Maybe they’ll get here one day. My money isn’t on it.

Cewsh's Final Score: 532 out of 800.

Vice’s Ventilation:

Vice: Fairly fun show, to be honest. There were some very entertaining matches and it was nice to see a lot of the people I marked out for back in the day. Seriously—it was a trip down memory lane. Unfortunately, as I’ve been pointing out, there were an awful lot of deceased wrestlers on this card. Yeah, it’s been 12 years, but these guys are still dying way too early.

It definitely felt like a big show, even if the quality wasn’t all there. If you haven’t seen it and have 3 hours to kill, why the fuck not. Just skip Luger vs. Bagwell. Trust me.




Well boys and girls that does it for another review from all of us here at the Cewsh Reviews Headquarters. We certainly hope you enjoyed this blast from the past, and that you’ve been enjoying our Wrestlemania month building up to the big show in April. We’re a few weeks out from the big show, and if you children play nice, you may very well see a few more reviews before it all goes down in Houston. In the meantime, keep checking your Cewsh Reviews thread, take your vitamins, say your prayers, and, as always, be good to each other.