Asistencia Asesoría y Administración Proudly Presents…
Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the spicy and delicious Cewsh Reviews. Tonight we have a special treat for you, as we venture into hitherto unexplored territory. Namely the sunny, friendly, and Salma Hayek producing land of Mexico. Now during the time that we’ve been chasing this out of control Frankenstein we know as Cewsh Reviews, we’ve spent a lot of time discussing and covering Japanese wrestling and, obviously, American wrestling. We even went to Italy and South Korea. But Mexico, and lucha libre, have been oddly left out our far reaching net. Whether that’s because people don’t seem to be very interested in lucha these days, or simply because we don’t know it or understand it as well as other kinds of wrestling, the fact remains that we have been neglectful.
But no longer! As we follow our merry host Konnan south in search of the newness, we’re bound to come across things that even we experienced travelers are not prepared for. Little people team6ing with the devil to fight women? Hype videos entirely in anime? People taking bong hits out of urns? Oh it’s all here. Will we find a new favorite wrestler in this unexplored territory, or will the whole show be a case of Montezuma’s Revenge? Only one way to find out.
So without any further ado, permita que nosotros hacer una revisión de motherfucking!
Segment 1 – OPENING VIDEO FEVER!
Cewsh: Hmm.
So you know how usually we talk about how the short opening hype video for the show gets us hyped for the show and whatnot of fails to do so? It tends to be a short little video, separate from the rest of the show, be it Japan, American, or Italy. That’s just the way I’m accustomed to things being done. The hype is short and at the start, then we launch into the opening match.
This opening video lasts 30 minutes.
And I don’t mean that it’s just 30 minutes worth of hype videos nonstop. They hype each and every single match on this show (and possibly a few that are on other promotion’s shows) do interviews with some guys, and just generally spend half an hour not actually doing anything. And yet, since there is no break to separate any of it out, the whole opening is just kind of one big jumbled, unorganized mess that I feel required to place under this heading. So let’s see what happened.
Segment 1A – Swirlies For Girlies.
Cewsh: First we get to see a hype video where X-Pac (X-Pack of Degeneration Mex here) gets canned half to death by a bunch of dudes led by the infamous El Zorro (yes, El Zorro). Then they spend an astonishing amount of time finding doors to throw Pac through until they find the bathroom, after which they give him a swirly in the toilet.
So I think it’s safe to say that if a rival holds you upside down and forces your head into a dirty Mexican toilet, he is not your friend, and you should beat him up. More on that later.
Segment 1B – A Messiah In The Land Of Giants.
Cewsh: Later we get to see the hapless announce team of Andre the fucking Giants interview the Mexican sensation Mesias (known as Judas Mesias during a brief run in TNA).
Mesias is the hottest shit going in AAA these days, and aside from Mistico, he’s probably the most important young wrestler in Mexico (and Puerto Rico) these days. Here he hypes that he’ll be fighting Dr. Wagner for the Heavyweight Championship tonight. He seems very excited.
Segment 1C – Is It Halloween Already?
Cewsh: After Mesias gets done spraying spit all over the freakishly tall announce team, we get another video about La Parka (now known as L.A. Park after pseudo retiring and passing the name off to someone else) feuding with about 80 guys. Some of them seem to be on his team, but I really couldn’t swear to it. Then we get Park and Octagon backstage looking like some kids in Halloween costumes next to the giant announce team.
It’s safe to say that we can assume that those two are teaming up against whatever collection of dastardly heels that can be mustered to face them. But the real question on all of our minds is simply: Will La Parka do the La Parka Dance?
Anticipation is high.
Segment 1D – Project Runway: Mexico.
Cewsh: After a hype video where things are so crowded and muddled in the ring that I am actually unable to discern in any way what is going on and who is involved, we get Konnan backstage doing an interview. Now see, Antonio Pena, the co founder and owner of AAA died in 2006, leaving them without, essentially, their Vince McMahon. Prior this he had brought in Joaquin Roldan and his son Dorian Roldan to help run the company and to groom them to replace him after he stepped down. In real life Joaquin, Dorian and Konnan have run things behind the scenes ever since, but on television there has been a HUGE feud between Konnan and Dorian over who will have the power in AAA. Konnan is very much the bad guy here, going as far as appearing to take a bong hit out of Antonio Pena’s urn to provoke Dorian.
Yes, an urn bong hit. I’m not capturing a picture of this, because I don’t want to be haunted by Mexican ghosts.
Not Shown: Urn Bong Hits.
Anyway, Konnan, who looks more and more like a old woman every passing day, is very impassioned about this opportunity to wrest control of AAA from the Roldans in a 5 on 5 Steel Cage match later tonight. Of course he put Teddy Hart on his team so I don’t think a ton of his chances.
Segment 2 – – Billy (Dude) Boy, Sexy (Lady) Star, Polvo de Estrellas (?), and Mini (Midget) Abismo Negro vs. El Elegido, Faby (Lady) Apache, Pimpinela (?) Escarlata, and Octagoncito (Midget).
Cewsh: Holy shit, a match!
Now before we get into this there are some things you need to know about lucha libre matches that differ from what you may be used to. First of all the usual rules apply with pinfalls, submissions, countouts (a 20 count in Mexico), and disqualifications. So that’s all the same. Where things differ is that you can be disqualified immediately for doing banned moves (a piledriver for example) or for attempting to remove your opponent’s mask in a match where that isn’t the stipulation. That’s pretty much the ultimate dick heel move to do, outside of smoking weed out of your rival’s urn I guess.
Also different, and relevant here, is the difference in tag matches. In lucha libre anytime the legal man for a team touches the ground outside of the ring, his partner can choose to enter the match in his place. So if a guy does a plancha out of the ring, his teammate can instantly be the legal man if he so chooses. It’s a little complicated to follow at first, but it allows for incredibly fast paced matches and is a big reason for the dives outside the ring becoming so prevalent in the lucha libre style. Also in this particular match that we’re about to see, the men, women, and midgets can all wrestle each other, unlike similar matches in WWE and elsewhere.
Okay, with all that said, let’s get to the actual match.
Now before you think that I’m being mean to people in the nicknames above, I’m actually just trying my best to relate what is going on here. Each team has a pretty boy, a midget (the official Mexican wrestling term for dwarfish wrestlers, not my own words), a woman, and what could only be described as a question mark. For the heels on this night, we have the lovely Polvo de Estrellas, seen here shooting fireworks out of some flowers:
And naturally, the faces are aided by the crossdressing superhero herself, Pimpinela Escarlata (perhaps better known as Cassandro).
So what we have here is an eight man tag match featuring as much wackiness as you can possibly fit into a single ring, so this should be a fun opening match, right?
No, it so, so isn’t.
Now admittedly Vice and I had some obstacles to overcome when it came to reviewing this show in terms of getting used to the Lucha Libre style of wrestling, but this match cannot have been a quality match by any standards. The first 10 minutes of it involve people standing around and haphazardly pushing one another towards the ropes, whereupon the other person would slowly jog into the ropes and receive a boring move that no audience member responded to whatsoever.
A small glimmer of hope comes towards the end as Sexy Star (a legitimately Sexy young lady in a mask) starts heeling it up with a woman in the front row who seems to be important, but isn’t labeled in any way, so I have no idea who she is. Faby Apache comes to the rescue, but this isn’t enough for granny, as she jumps the guardrail and starts laying into Sexy Star as everyone stands around in what looks like genuine surprise.
Unfortunately, this is quickly cut away from, and we go back to the six sided ring to watch nothing very interesting, until the match is suddenly over to no significant reaction from the fans, or even from the wrestlers involved.
This match’s cardinal sin is that it was boring to a level that I had previously thought that only Ian Rotten could aspire to. You had a bunch of interesting people and personalities, but between the huge clusterfuck of having so many people, and everyone’s seeming complete unwillingness to do anything that might actually excite anyone, this match was just a total dud to start this show. I mean listen. If you can’t have an interesting match with Cassandro involved, you are simply doomed from the get go.
21 out of 100.
Vice: It sucked.
Team Fireworks Over Team Cassandro Following Shenanigans.
Segment 3 – Lucha Libre Rules Tag Team Match – Losing Capatin Gets Caned 10 Times – X (Stands For Xtremely Ugly) Pack (Captain), Charly (Yes, That Really Is His Gimmick) Manson, and Rocky (What Am I Doing Here?) Romero vs. El (The Zorro?) Zorro (Captain), Dark (He’s Dark) Ozz, and Dark (Him Too) Scoria.
Cewsh: Okay, so I did spend quite a lot of time explaining things to you guys last match, and damned if I’m not going to be at it again. The idea of a Lucha Libre Style 6 Man Tag Match is that each team has a captain, and the match can only be won by a member of a team beating the other team’s captain. This makes the matches turn into a bit more of a chess match, as the captain is inevitably the most talented and over guy on the team, and yet they don’t want to risk him to risk losing the match. Very cat and mouse. In this case the captain that loses for their team has to submit to being caned ten times by the other team.
This match is built off of the swirlie giving that I mentioned earlier, and is actually part of an interesting push for El Zorro, who was mired in midcard obscurity before suddenly being given a huge push, and becoming a very complex character practically overnight. Here he is up against D-Generation Mex, which is at once the best and worst stable name imaginable. X-Pack has something to prove here as the firey babyface, and he has apparently recruited Marilyn Manson and some Cuban guy who kicks people to aid him in his quest. Charly Manson is actually in the middle of his big comeback tour for AAA, and this is one of his last matches in the company after a long and storied career.
Rocky Romero, on the other hand, hates Vice and kicks people. Did I mention he kicks people? Because he does. A lot.
This match is much more intense and much faster paced that the first one, and frankly, would probably have been a better opener for me personally, but it had more than its share of flaws as well. Not the least of which is the fact that most rudos in Mexico are so much more laid backs than the heels in other places that a lot of the time it just seems like they’re not bad guys at all. Here El Zorro is kind of a dick here and there, but there’s no fire between he and Pack, and Pack shows very little emotion in trying to get back at the man who has been tormenting him, and everyone else is just sort of there taking up space. Also, and this distracted me all through the show, but there is an enormous amount of standing around waiting for the other guy to get into position for your prearranged spots in this match and others on this show. In Lucha that’s more common but not THIS common, as literally every punch is telegraphed from a mile away while the other guy stands there waiting for it.
Just hokey as fuck.
Anyway, D-Generation Mex wins this one, so El Zorro has to submit to the ministrations of Team DMex. Of course since he’s a RUDO he totally starts fighting back and doesn’t take the ass whipping he rightly deserves, and since this makes no sense he single handedly fights them all off with minimal effort and proceeds to viciously destroy everyone with the cane. Because he’s cool I guess?
42 out of 100.
Vice: It sucked.
D-Generation Mex Over El Zorro’s Gang Following The Mex Factor.
Segment 4 – AAA Crusierweight Championship – Four Corner Elimination Match – Alex (The Russian That Looks Like He’s From Cuba) Kozlov © vs. Extreme(ly Uninspired Costume) Tiger vs. Crazy (Very Descriptive) Boy vs. Alan (Billy Boy’s Brother) Stone.
Cewsh: Now this is what I’m talking about. No huge amounts of wackiness, no wacky Lucha rules, just a good old fashioned international spotfest. Mad refreshing.
Now if I expected this match to be some tremendous athletic display, then I was perhaps being a little naive. This match descends into a WWE hardcore match circa 2001 almost immediately, with tables, chairs, and possibly even a bowling ball coming into play from the get go, as these guys just go for spot after spot after spot. I won’t lie and say that I wasn’t entertained watching it, because I was more than a little bit, but man, I feel bad now for saying that TNA X Division matches had no structure, because this match is absolutely bonkers.
One especially crazy spot happens when Extreme Tiger sets Alan Stone up in the corner after meticulously setting up about 35 chairs, and goes for a Frankensteiner off the top rope to put Stone though the chairs. Not only does the ref blatantly spend a good minute straightening the chairs before they go through with the spot, but Stone reverses it in midair into a powerbomb and KABOOSH, Tiger is out for a good long while, but that isn’t even enough to earn us our first pinfall of the night.
Pinfall numero uno shows up a bit later as Alex Kozlov gets jumped by all three other men and pinned unceremoniously in order to grant us a guaranteed new champion. Exciting, but still, Kozlov is amazing. I wish we’d gotten more of him. L
Alex Kozlov Has Been Eliminated.
The other three men then spend a few minutes getting very intimate indeed with some chairs in and out of the ring, just completely wrecking each other with some crazy, and admittedly fun, stunts, usually involving as many chairs as can possibly be stacked on top of one another. Finally, Crazy Boy, living up to his descriptive moniker, climbs to the top rope and executes a wicked moonsault while holding a chair, leading to a huge crash that bring the fans to their feet and eliminated Alan Stone.
Alan Stone Has Been Eliminated.
Now we’re down to two, and Extreme Tiger isn’t fucking around in the slightest. He makes a mess out of Crazy Boy, and wastes no time laying him on a table outside the ring, climbing the top rope and executing a gorgeous 450 splash through said table, bringing this match to a definitive conclusion.
This was pretty much the match that I’ve been waiting for all show. Fast paced, exciting, crazy, and athletic, this is the kind of match I need to see to get hyped for a Lucha Libre show. Unfortunately this show is already half over and this match can’t save it alone, but these 4 guys have nothing to be ashamed of. They did their best and produced something fun, if not memorable. That’s all I’m even asking for at this point.
69 out of 100.
Vice: It sucked.
Extreme Tiger Over Everyone Else Followed By 450 Degrees Of Devastation.
Segment 5 – AAA World Tag Team Championships – La Hermadad Extrema (Psicosis and Joe Lider) © vs. (Pig) Latin Lover and Marco (Mark Jindrak) Corleone.
Cewsh: For the record, the next time we talk about WWE or TNA being insensitive towards other countries and races, let’s bear in mind that they turned Mark Jindrak into a character from the Godfather simply because they thought he was from New York. Stereotypes are bad, boys and girls. Especially when they MAKE NO SENSE.
Anyway, Psicosis and his buddy are the hated heels here, and for the first time on this show (Kozlov excluded) they actually show it, being huge dicks to everyone, getting in the crowd’s faces, and totally controlling the tempo of this match. Psicosis is an old hand at this, and Lider is tremendously underrated and unheralded, despite being one of the most consistently good undercard workers in Mexico right now, and they show it as they carry Marco Corleone to something actually watchable (name someone else who ever has) and let Latin Lover play the babyface in peril enough to get the crowd into things.
This match really only lasts about 10 minutes, all in all, and it’s not in a prestigious spot on the card or anything, but this may have been my favorite match of the night simply because of how simple it was. The heels were dicks, the faces were sympathetic, and the comeback had fire, and even the heel referee only added to things without making them overly complicated. It was a very simple formula for a good match, and thank god, because this show needed to go back to fundamental school.
74 out of 100.
Vice: It sucked.
La Hermadad Extrema Over The Baby Oil Brother Following A Roll Up.
Segment 6 – AAA World Heavyweight Championship – Mesias (The Messiah Of This Show) © vs. Dr. (Mario) Wagner.
Cewsh: This match is nearly 40 minutes long.
I say this to you out front ahead of anything else because I want to make sure that you realize this should you ever choose to track down this match and watch it. Not just because that’s a long ass time to sit and watch one match, especially commentated in a language you don’t speak and wrestled by people you don’t know. But more than anything, it’s simply because there is an amazing 20 minute match in here, but you have to watch for 40 minutes to piece it together.
These two guys have a story to tell here, between two men, one a legend who has been pushed to the brink and has to fight back for the sake of his pride and the new star on the block with no respect for anyone, and they tell it with emotion, with passion, and with skill. But if you break this match down, it really does contain about 20 minutes worth of pausing, waiting, and doing nothing. It can be infuriating when you’re waiting for Dr. Wagner to fire up and attack that dastardly Mesias, only for Mesias to stand the and wait while Wagner totters to his feet, and then for them to launch into some moves like nothing had ever happened.
The fact is that these are two skilled storytellers, and Mesias especially is on fire here as a man who is downright scary to be in the same building as, much less the same ring as, telling a great story, and I will always be a sucker for that, however it is presented to me. But if they had just cut out some of that stalling and pausing, this would be a gold medal match that I could praise to the sky. But it’s just so distracting and deflating to the rest of the match that I can’t ignore it. Truly a shame, because if you can get around that, there is something really special here.
78 out of 100.
Vice: It sucked.
Dr. Wagner Over Mesias Following The Doctor Bomb.
Segment 7 – The Greatest Hype Video Of All Time.
Cewsh: The entire hype video for the main event is depicted as an anime cartoon, showing all the feuds and players in this enormous conflict.
Oh man, you have to see for yourself, works can’t do it justice. Feast your eyes of the brilliance:
I KNOW RIGHT?!
Segment 8 – 6 Sides of Steel Cage Match - Winner’s Boss Controls AAA - Team AAA (El Hijo del Santo, La Parka, Vampiro, Octagón, and Jack Evans) vs. La Legion Extranjera (Silver King, Chessman, Kenzo Suzuki, Electroshock, and Teddy Hart).
Cewsh: Oi.
First of all, if you’ve ever heard of a luchador’s name that isn’t Rey Mysterio he’s probably in this match, so that should let you know just how big and important a match this is for AAA right here. Not that you would, of course, know that to watch this match, because this is possibly the worst FILMED match I have ever laid eyes on. They can’t get the camera close enough to show what is going on in the cage, so the keep trying to get the camera shot from above, but it makes it impossible to tell anyone apart. Vice and I watched the whole match and actually had no idea until later on that Kenzo Suzuki had even been in it. The biggest match off the year! That’s to say nothing of the production mishaps that apparently allowed Teddy Hart to participate in a match that you want people to pay to see, as he is still the World Heavyweight Champion Douchetwat of the World as far as I’m concerned.
If he and Egotistico Fantastico were in a room together, and I had the option to smack one of them in the face as hard as I could, I would have to think about which to choose. THAT is how much of a blubbercunt that Teddy Hart is.
Anyway that’s all overshadowed by guys like Cibernetico, Vampiro and El Hijo De Santo, the Son of the Saint. The son of one of the 3 biggest names in the history of professional wrestling, El Santo. He’s gracing us with his presence here, and we’re lucky to have him, because as the match starts it becomes pretty clear that nobody else has any fucking idea as to what it is that they’re supposed to be doing. People are doing moves to each other all over the place and the camera doesn’t catch half of it, while other people just lean on the cage waiting their turn.
Teddy Hart jumps off of the cage onto some people, probably more out of habit than anything, and then somebody handcuffs L.A. Park to the cage. Which is important, so remember that. People go back to brawling while L.A. Park complains mildly about his predicament. That is until Konnan appears on the big screen.
Konnan then proceeds to make the most ridiculously stupid mistake in professional wrestling history. You see, apparently L.A. Park is seen as a major threat to Konnan’s team winning this match, so he had his team handcuff L.A. Park out of the way so he can’t escape the cage and help his team win. When everyone else escapes the cage, Park will still be stuck. Ingenious right? Right up until Konnan gets on the monitor to inform everyone that’s he’s in his office and has the key in his hand, prompting about 20 dudes to run to his office, beat him the fuck up and take it, unlocking L.A. Park. If Konnan had just KEPT IT TO HIMSELF, they would have won the match. But noooooooo.
After this, Konnan comes down to the ring to start some shit while people slowly start escaping the cage to join the melee brawl on the floor. At some point Dorian Roldan comes out of the crowd to try to counteract Konnan, at which point Konnan plays his trump card by summoning from the back a guy who looks like a discarded auditioning tape for Cobra Commander come to life.
Konnan orders him to cane Roldan half to death as Konnan tries to climb into the ring to help his last soldier as he struggles with El Hijo De Santo as the last two in the ring. But SWERVE, Cobra Commander nails Konnan, slowing El Hijo De Santo to escape, and foiling Konnan’s scheme of owning AAA once and for all.
Perched atop the cage, El Hijo De Santo, the hero of the day, leads him teammates and the crowd in a rousing send off for Konnan and his cronies as they slink to the back, defeated but not broken, and ready to fight another day.
As I said before, this match was the clusterfuck to end all clusterfucks, and thanks to the camera and all the action, I never had any goddamn clue what was going on. To have this be the conclusion to your biggest show of the year is totally absurd, and somewhat fitting at the same time. There was no order, no structure, no sanity. Just entertaining (at times) chaos.
If that’s your cup of tea then this is for you. It is not mine.
50 out of 100.
Vice: It sucked.
Team AAA Over Team Konnan Following El Hijo De Santo Escaping The Cage.
Cewsh: Hmm, Vice has been oddly quiet and consistent all review. Anything you want to get off your chest, buddy?
Vice: Yes. I’ve thought about things for a number of hours. I’ve spent about 12 cigarettes thinking about what I could possibly write for these matches. I’ve thought about it while trying to fall asleep—well, after I thought about Daffers, and before I thought about how cool it would be to have toasters built into my biceps and a microwave in my chest, and wondering if it would be possible to make my Standard Issue male genitalia larger by drawing a Premium Elite Extended Edition monster cock onto it. So I'm basically just going to ramble on about everything here and walk you through my thought process while watching this show.
Like most wonderful thoughts and dreams, the answer is no. In this case, going into the show, I was hoping for a very entertaining show. This is, after all, their biggest show of the year. Or so I am led to believe, anyway. Now, the opening of the show was about half an hour long and featured all kinds of commentating, interviews and video packages. Actually, that brings me to something I would like to talk about. Music.
See, WWE and TNA are the big leagues (not so much the latter, but still) and thus cannot use whatever music they feel like unless they feel like paying a band out the ass with royalties. So when you can get away with any music you want, what do you choose? There is no limit to what you can and cannot use, so in theory you can get the perfect music for everything. Video packages, event themes, ring entrances, whatever. So, to sum things up, the best thing about this show to me was the musical selections. There was a bit of everything, and most of them I would have put on my “Things I Will Not Hear in a Mexican Promotion” top ten list.
Such fantastic songs included at least two songs from Rocky, THRILLER, the actual Degeneration X music, the theme from SAW, Rammstein, Queen, Eminem, AC/DC, Bon Jovi, one of the battle songs from Final Fantasy: Advent Children, Requiem for a Tower, Emerson Lake and Palmer, La Bamba, something I swear is off the God of War soundtrack, Immediate Music’s Lacrimosa Dominae, oh, and the motherfucking STAR WARS theme. So yeah, a lot of wackiness. It was always something to look forward to.
Ah, something to look forward to. Well, you’d think that after 30 minutes of me getting hyped up thinking I was about to watch the most epic wrestling event I’ve ever seen, surely I’d be looking forward to the matches, right?
Well, the first wrestler to make their way to the ring was a girl in a mask with a nice body, thong sticking out, and dancing. And this was just after the opening ceremony of sorts featuring busty babes with amazing asses, one of which was even wearing a sombrero.
So to say the event was off to a good start was an understatement. But really, it was all downhill after this. The opening match was a complete boring mess of underwhelming nonsense that popped my balloon of hope quicker than I’d pop my load in Daffers.
With a frown on my face, the show said “Vice, it’s okay, we’ve got some GREAT stuff coming up!” with its arm around my shoulder. It reminded me of the video packages I saw, so I said “ok, Show” with a smile on my face, “I shall put some duct tape on my balloon and fill it back up with lots of hope”. Well, then the next match came and it featured Degeneration Mex-Pack and Rocky Romero, someone who face to face told me he hated me (different story for a different day) a few years ago, and someone I don’t think is a great wrestler, but at least I am familiar with him. I was starting to think that the show could get better as I looked at it and it gave me a thumbs up. That match was extremely sloppy and underwhelming as well. And then the next. Then the next.
As I was becoming more and more furious with the show, I looked over at him and he was making me a cake as a way to keep me interested. It started off as a simple chocolate cake. Then he put some icing on it. Then it became a double layer cake. “Vice”, the show said, “isn’t this GREAT?”, and to that I thought no, it’s not great. At all. By show’s end, the cake it baked me as an apology was 7 layers, drenched in icing, whipped cream, sprinkles, chocolate powder, cherries, topped off with a Fleshlight modeled after Daffers’ very own lady parts.
As great as this apology cake was, I promptly urinated on it and told the show to go fuck itself because it was just very, very bad and it did not deserve any more attention. I immediately grabbed him by the sombrero, punted him out of my house and locked the door. 5 minutes later, I looked through my mail slot and saw that it was sitting on my front steps crying. Well, to make it feel better I wrote “I forgive you” on a piece of paper and slid it through. Overjoyed, it smiled at me with his twinkling eyes that were soon crushed when I slid another piece of paper through that said “Just kidding. Fuck you.”, because I am an unforgiving son of a bitch that does not like it when my time is wasted.
Unfortunately, as with most of the worst things I’ve ever had to experience (like most indy shows), it’s not as simple as kicking it out of my life and imagining how fucking awesome I’d look with a top hat and bear claw slippers. No, I actually have to relive the experience as I type out a review of the show. Unlike most shows though, where there is obvious stuff to pick apart and shit on, this show didn’t really have anything like that. It was just that poor. Though I suppose I could say that the main event was one of the most confusing, sloppy, dreadful main event I have ever seen. If WWE pulled this shit, they’d only get 19 people to order their next Wrestlemania. If TNA pulled this shit, they’d lose all 19 of their viewers.
So over one thousand words in now and I still haven’t quite been able to fully express how I feel about this show in a way that any wrestling fan will be able to understand. The only way I can really describe this show is if you had the ridiculously amazing Wrestlemania hype, feel, crowd, and video packages, but all the wrestlers were replaced by the roster of the now extinct (rightfully so) IWA: Mid South. While talking with Cewsh during this event, I started jokingly referring to this company as IWAAA: Mexican Suckfest after about an hour and a half. There was some good talent involved in this show, and I now have much more respect for El Mesias among a handful of others, but they were buried in shit. Neck high shit at that.
Considering the size of this show and the opening 30 minutes which almost had me drooling, I don’t think I’ve ever been so amazingly disappointed in a wrestling show. Ever.
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Cewsh’s Conclusion:
Cewsh: Man I don’t know what the hell I expected when we signed up to do a Lucha Libre show. I guess I thought that because we were doing a really big one that it may be streamlined a little, and easier to follow? I guess I thought that with all the familiar names and faces that this was some can’t miss fun? Maybe I thought there would be some nudity? I don’t even know. All I know is that I was wrong.
This show was bad in a way that is totally inexcusable for the level that this promotion is at. Telling IWA:MS they’re terrible is like giving a kid detention for the 8,000th time. AAA is the smart kid who SHOULD be getting good grades, but is just fucking up massively. Possibly due to too many urn bong hits.
This show is fucking awful. I cannot make it any clearer than that. Just awful.
Cewsh’s Final Score: 55.6 out of 100.
Vice’s Verdict:
Vice: It sucked.
Vice’s Final Score: 19 out of 100.
Well that'll do it for us this week boys and girls. We hope you hope more fun than we did on our merry little jaunt south of the border, down Mexico way. We hope that tides you over for awhile, because based on this, we may not be back for a good long while. Anyway, our Cewsh Reviews Road To Wrestlemania Month rolls on as next week we tackle something both relevant and enormous. Yes, we covered the great WWE/TNA showdown on January 4th and we declared WWE the winner. But with TNA officially moving to Monday night to compete permanently with WWE, we're going to see which company pulled out all the stops and kicked this war off with style, as Vice and I review The Monday Night Wars Take Two: Part Deux. This Time It's Personal. So until then, remember to keep reading, and be good to one another.
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