Using the very latest and most advanced booking simulator technology, (or not,) we will pit the great minds of Cewsh Reviews against one another in a bid for fantasy warfare supremacy and bragging rights forevermore. To be more specific, we'll be doing a draft of any active wrestler and forming our own dream promotions, and then simulating a year in the life of our wacky promotions in Total Extreme Wrestling, (click here to learn more about the game,) to see which promotion will reign supreme at the end. So how will it go down? Only one way to find out.
Okay, before we begin, let's go into a little bit more detail about the rules. Now we'll be running a Real World mod for this game with all of the promotions removed, so it will essentially be the real world as of April, just with all of the places to work removed, (harsh economy,) and replaced with our mega companies. We'll all start at the Global level with 50 million dollars, and will have absolutely no input on our roster or what they do after selecting our draft picks. After one year, the winner will be determined.
And then when the winner is inevitably determined to be me, we'll hold a ticker tape parade in my honor. Everybody got all that? All right then, LET'S DO THIS THING.
Cewsh: Now the ground rules for the draft are simple. We'll each pick our guys and gals from any wrestler, announcer or personality that has been active at some point in the past year. We'll go snake style, (Cewsh, Vice, Mrs. Cewsh, Mrs. Cewsh, Vice, Cewsh,) and stealing one another's picks and crushing each other's dreams isn't just encouraged, it's practically required. With that said, the countdown clock is ticking, so let's go to the draft commissioner, who, since you can't prove otherwise, is absolutely Optimus Prime.
Vice
Mrs. Cewsh
Round 1
John Cena
CM Punk
Daniel Bryan
Daniel Bryan
Round 2
Randy Orton
Randy Orton
Brock Lesnar
Kurt Angle
Kurt Angle
Round 3
Dolph Ziggler
The Rock
Cody Rhodes
Round 4
Big E Langston
Vince McMahon
Sheamus
Round 5
Chris Jericho
Bobby Roode
Alberto Del Rio
Round 6
AJ Styles
Samoa Joe
Christopher Daniels
Round 7
Jeff Hardy
Dean Ambrose
Roman Reigns
Round 8
Antonio Cesaro
Sin Cara
Hiroshi Tanahashi
Round 9
Kazuchika Okada
Magnus
The Undertaker
Round 10
Triple H
Austin Aries
Shinsuke Nakamura
Round 11
Kofi Kingston
Batista
The Miz
Round 12
AJ Lee
Bully Ray
Chris Sabin
Round 13
Zema Ion
Rey Mysterio
Ryback
Round 14
Cheerleader Melissa
BIG ROB TERRY
Kane
Round 15
Beth Phoenix
Davey Richards
Paige
Round 16
Bray Wyatt
Seth Rollins
Jushin Liger
Round 17
Gail Kim
Eddie Edwards
James Storm
Round 18
Mr. Anderson
Minoru Suzuki
Ayako Hamada
Round 19
Tajiri
Kassius Ohno
Alex Shelley
Round 20
Prince Devitt
Kota Ibsuhi
Naomichi Marufuji
Optimus Prime: This draft was most intriguing. You can see where clear patterns happened in the midst of it, like Round 6 where they all unspokenly decided to split up TNA's three wonder children, and Round 20, where they just snapped up whatever Jr. Heavyweights that came to mind. The real story here is the increasingly odd decision making of Cewsh from Round 8 to the end. For the second year in a row, he dramatically overrated Japanese wrestlers in an America-centric game, though for explanation he offered, "THEY'LL BE THE GREATEST JOBBERS OF ALL TIME." The choices of Beth Phoenix, who is retired, and Tajiri, who hasn't been relevant in America in 10 years had much less to recommend him, and based on his off key singing of Piano Man, it is possible that he showed up to the draft drunk. Mrs. Cewsh and Vice, for their part, vied for supermacy in different ways. Vice assembled a team based heavily upon workrate, while Mrs. Cewsh chose the most popular wrestlers she could throughout the draft. But which approach will prove victorious? Skill, popularity, or chaos?
From here on they have absolutely no input on what happens in the game at all. The computer will choose who books the shows, what additional talent to add, and what happens from here on.
Cewsh: Of course, while many of our readers have already weighed in with the unmistakable belief that I will be defeated yet again, they are all FOOLS. I WILL CONQUER AND HOLD COURT OVER THE BROKEN BODIES OF MY VANQUISHED FOES. AHAHAHAHA.
Ahem. Hopefully.
Optimus Prime: AUTOBOTS, ROLL OUT.
-----------------------------
April 2013
Mrs. Cewsh
Computer Ranking: 1st
Major News: Jim Cornette takes over as booker of MLW.
Key Signings: Abyss, Matt Morgan, Jack Swagger, R-Truth, Drew McIntyre, Low Ki, Amazing Kong
Month's PPV Grade: B+Month's PPV Main Event: Alberto Del Rio vs. Mr. Anderson
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.85
Champions:
MLW Championship: Alberto Del Rio
MLW Television: Jack Swagger
MLW Tag Team: Terror Rising (Abyss and Roman Reigns)
Cewsh Note: Strangely, for the second year in a row Mrs. Cewsh gets Jim Cornette as her booker. I can't express enough just how randomized this all is, so getting the same random person in charge of your company out of every potential booker in existence is completely insane. I wonder if we'll have any other wacky coincidences like that? Also, Mrs. Cewsh's champions right out of the gate are a collection of talent that she wouldn't pay to see if they were competitively making clothes for fashion shows, much less wrestling. Unfortunate start for her.
Major News: John House takes over as booker of VICE Inc.
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar
Champions:
VI Global: CM Punk
VI Nationwide: Austin Aries
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Cewsh Note: John House is the lead announcer for CZW. That is who is booking Vice's promotion. Just keep that in mind as we continue on in this game. Regardless, Vice is doing well, with an array of champions and a main event that can't be called anything short of a smark wet dream.
Major News: Frank Iadevaia takes over as booker of Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment.
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. John Cena
Champions:
AWE World: Jeff Hardy
AWE TV: Kane
AWE National Tag: Showtime (Ted Dibiase Jr. and Carlito)
Cewsh Note: Sigh. Alright. So if you recall, in the first installment of this game, I was all charged up and ready to go before the person in charge of my company inexplicably signed Rhino. Rhino then went on to win the tv and tag titles, and wound up injuring my world champion, causing my title to remain vacant for the last 3 months of the game. This time, I was sure I couldn't possibly get the same bad luck again AND I GOT THE SAME FUCKING BAD LUCK AGAIN. And not just that, my champions are like some unfortunate joke being played on me by an unforgiving computer intelligence, and the matchup of John Cena vs. Jeff Hardy got me a buyrate that even TNA would be ashamed of.
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO EARN YOUR MERCY, COMPUTER OVERLORDS?!
My Little Wrestling
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Alberto Del Rio vs. Mr. Anderson II
Champions:
MLW Championship: Alberto Del Rio
MLW Television: Jack Swagger
MLW Tag Team: Terror Rising (Abyss and Roman Reigns)
Cewsh Note: One thing that Mrs. Cewsh's promotions are famous for is looooooooong title reigns. So I wouldn't expect to see any of those titles change hands for a good long time. Meanwhile, during this period Mrs. Cewsh branches out into international markets more than any of the other two promotions, but has the worst PPV deal in the US. Causing a weird situation where her domestic buyrates are tiny by comparison, while her popularity overseas skyrockets.
Key Signings: Lufisto, Ron Simmons
Month's PPV Grade: A
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. Bully Ray
Champions:
VI Global: CM Punk
VI Nationwide: Austin Aries
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Cewsh Note: Guess who got the cushiest PPV contract? That advantage, coupled with CM Punk making his WWE title reign look like a warm up lap, is laying the foundation for a promotion that will be incredibly hard to stop. But never fear! Cewsh to the rescue!
Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment
Computer Ranking: 3rd
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. John Cena II
Champions:
AWE World: Jeff Hardy
AWE TV: Kane
AWE National Tag: Showtime (Ted Dibiase Jr. and Carlito)
Cewsh Note: Alright, so I'm still in last. But with an array of talent as sexy as mine is, that could change at any moment!
Key Signings: Randy Orton (From MLW)
My Little Wrestling
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.83
Champions:
MLW Championship: Alberto Del Rio
MLW Television: Jack Swagger
MLW Tag Team: Terror Rising (Abyss and Roman Reigns)
Cewsh Note: Mrs. Cewsh's promotion seems to be going with a theme of "main events that wouldn't even cut it on your average Smackdown". Weirdly it's working for her just fine, as she only lost the top spot because of Vice's runaway momentum. It's still neck and neck between the two. Of course, her situation is not helped by a certain wrestler defecting. It's best that we don't talk about it. Just know that if you never hear from Vice again, the two facts may be connected.
Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment
Computer Ranking: 3rd
MLW Television: Jack Swagger
MLW Tag Team: Terror Rising (Abyss and Roman Reigns)
Cewsh Note: Strangely, for the second year in a row Mrs. Cewsh gets Jim Cornette as her booker. I can't express enough just how randomized this all is, so getting the same random person in charge of your company out of every potential booker in existence is completely insane. I wonder if we'll have any other wacky coincidences like that? Also, Mrs. Cewsh's champions right out of the gate are a collection of talent that she wouldn't pay to see if they were competitively making clothes for fashion shows, much less wrestling. Unfortunate start for her.
Vice
VICE Inc.
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Major News: John House takes over as booker of VICE Inc.
Key Signings: Wade Barrett, Fandango, John Morrison, Colt Cabana, Jim Ross, Kevin Steen, Damien Sandow
Month's PPV Grade: AMonth's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.51
Champions:
VI Nationwide: Austin Aries
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Cewsh Note: John House is the lead announcer for CZW. That is who is booking Vice's promotion. Just keep that in mind as we continue on in this game. Regardless, Vice is doing well, with an array of champions and a main event that can't be called anything short of a smark wet dream.
Cewsh
Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment
Computer Ranking: 3rd
Major News: Frank Iadevaia takes over as booker of Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment.
Key Signings: RHINO AGAIN, Paul Heyman, Mark Henry, Carlito, Ted Dibiase Jr, Shark Boy
Month's PPV Grade: BMonth's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. John Cena
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.30
Champions:
AWE TV: Kane
AWE National Tag: Showtime (Ted Dibiase Jr. and Carlito)
Cewsh Note: Sigh. Alright. So if you recall, in the first installment of this game, I was all charged up and ready to go before the person in charge of my company inexplicably signed Rhino. Rhino then went on to win the tv and tag titles, and wound up injuring my world champion, causing my title to remain vacant for the last 3 months of the game. This time, I was sure I couldn't possibly get the same bad luck again AND I GOT THE SAME FUCKING BAD LUCK AGAIN. And not just that, my champions are like some unfortunate joke being played on me by an unforgiving computer intelligence, and the matchup of John Cena vs. Jeff Hardy got me a buyrate that even TNA would be ashamed of.
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO TO EARN YOUR MERCY, COMPUTER OVERLORDS?!
---------------------------------
May 2013
Mrs. Cewsh
Computer Ranking: 1st
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Alberto Del Rio vs. Mr. Anderson II
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.91
Champions:
MLW Television: Jack Swagger
MLW Tag Team: Terror Rising (Abyss and Roman Reigns)
Cewsh Note: One thing that Mrs. Cewsh's promotions are famous for is looooooooong title reigns. So I wouldn't expect to see any of those titles change hands for a good long time. Meanwhile, during this period Mrs. Cewsh branches out into international markets more than any of the other two promotions, but has the worst PPV deal in the US. Causing a weird situation where her domestic buyrates are tiny by comparison, while her popularity overseas skyrockets.
Vice
VICE Inc.
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Key Signings: Lufisto, Ron Simmons
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. Bully Ray
Month's PPV Buyrate: 3.62
Champions:
VI Nationwide: Austin Aries
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Cewsh Note: Guess who got the cushiest PPV contract? That advantage, coupled with CM Punk making his WWE title reign look like a warm up lap, is laying the foundation for a promotion that will be incredibly hard to stop. But never fear! Cewsh to the rescue!
Cewsh
Computer Ranking: 3rd
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. John Cena II
Month's PPV Buyrate: 2.40
Champions:
AWE TV: Kane
AWE National Tag: Showtime (Ted Dibiase Jr. and Carlito)
Cewsh Note: Alright, so I'm still in last. But with an array of talent as sexy as mine is, that could change at any moment!
-------------------------------------
June 2013
Vice
VICE Inc.
Computer Ranking: 1st
Key Signings: Randy Orton (From MLW)
Month's PPV Grade: A
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. Bully Ray II
Month's PPV Buyrate: 3.43
Champions:
VI Global: CM Punk
VI Nationwide: Austin Aries
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. Bully Ray II
Month's PPV Buyrate: 3.43
Champions:
VI Global: CM Punk
VI Nationwide: Austin Aries
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Cewsh Note: Behind another strong month, Vice surges into the lead. That sexy Punk vs. Ray feud is obviously setting the world on fire, which is helping everyone watching ignore the weird ass shit going on in Vice's undercard. The Rock teaming with random scrubs he sees mopping the floor backstage, Brock Lesnar doing jobs to everyone with a pulse. It's a nuthouse over there but the fans are loving it. Mrs. Cewsh and I might be in big trouble if the juggernaut can not be stopped. Luckily, it's not like he's stealing main eventers from us or any...oh he is? Really important ones? Ah. Well then we are doomed.
Mrs. Cewsh
My Little Wrestling
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Key Departures: Randy Orton (to VI)
Month's PPV Grade: A
Month's PPV Main Event: Alberto Del Rio vs. Cody RhodesMonth's PPV Buyrate: 0.83
Champions:
MLW Championship: Alberto Del Rio
MLW Television: Jack Swagger
MLW Tag Team: Terror Rising (Abyss and Roman Reigns)
Cewsh Note: Mrs. Cewsh's promotion seems to be going with a theme of "main events that wouldn't even cut it on your average Smackdown". Weirdly it's working for her just fine, as she only lost the top spot because of Vice's runaway momentum. It's still neck and neck between the two. Of course, her situation is not helped by a certain wrestler defecting. It's best that we don't talk about it. Just know that if you never hear from Vice again, the two facts may be connected.
Cewsh
Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment
Computer Ranking: 3rd
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus
Month's PPV Buyrate: 2.53
Champions:
AWE World: Jeff Hardy
AWE TV: Kane
AWE National Tag: Showtime (Ted Dibiase Jr. and Carlito)
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. Sheamus
Month's PPV Buyrate: 2.53
Champions:
AWE World: Jeff Hardy
AWE TV: Kane
AWE National Tag: Showtime (Ted Dibiase Jr. and Carlito)
Cewsh Note: Let's ignore the unchecked misery of having Jeff Hardy as my champion and having to pray every month that he doesn't show up dead from an overdose. Let's ignore that John Cena has been buried down to the midcard inside of two months. Let's even ignore that Rhino is on this roster stinking it up left and right. Instead, let's focus for a second on how my prized Japanese workhorses are doing, shall we? Not one of them has won any match at any point. Hiroshi Tanahashi has jobbed in the pre show of every show I've run thus far. I have become TNA. Sigh.
----------------------------
July 2013
Mrs. Cewsh
Computer Ranking: 1st
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Alberto Del Rio vs. The Miz II
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.78
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.78
Champions:
MLW Championship: Alberto Del Rio
MLW Television: Jack Swagger
MLW Tag Team: Terror Rising (Abyss and Roman Reigns)
Cewsh Note: Mrs. Cewsh unexpectedly takes the lead again. It's puzzling that she did, because Vice still seems way out ahead. But then I checked how the finances are, and for some reason Vice has lost about 20 million dollars in 4 months. So since I'm TNA, I guess that makes Vice WCW. EVERYBODY PREPARE FOR THE FAIL OFF!
It's also worth mentioning at this point that thus far The Miz has been Mrs. Cewsh's MVP by far. Hands up if you called that one.
It's also worth mentioning at this point that thus far The Miz has been Mrs. Cewsh's MVP by far. Hands up if you called that one.
Vice
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Month's PPV Grade: A
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. The Rock II
Month's PPV Buyrate: 4.00
Champions:
VI Global: CM Punk
VI Nationwide: Austin Aries
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Cewsh Note: Pssh. The Rock. That guy doesn't draw.
Cewsh
Computer Ranking: 3rd
Key Departures: Chris Jericho
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler
Month's PPV Buyrate: 2.32
Champions:
AWE World: Jeff Hardy
AWE TV: Joey Ryan
AWE National Tag: Showtime (Ted Dibiase Jr. and Carlito)
Cewsh Note: Alright, Chris Jericho left my promotion to go on tour with Fozzy and is now dead to me forever. Even so, the most important note from this month is that we had two TV title changes! You see, after 5 months, Kane was finally unseated by The Rainmaker himself, Kazuchika Okada. Obviously, this thrilled me beyond belief. The computer, which no doubt analyzed my approval and disapproved of it, then had him lose the title THE VERY NEXT WEEK to Joey Ryan. This is the only one reign in this entire game that lasted less than one month. I cannot make these things up, people.
----------------------------
Cewsh: Alright. We've seen the first few months. Now, in the interest of saving this from becoming repetitive, let's fast forward to January. It's the dawning of a new year, and there are only 3 months to go until the end of the game. Time for a headlong rush to the finish! But first, we time travel.
January 2014
Cewsh: Before we see how everyone is doing, let's see how the game's year end awards shook out!
Best Promotion: Vice Inc.
Show of the Year: Epic Event (Vice Inc.)
Match of the Year: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler (AWE)
Wrestler of the Year: The Rock (Vice Inc.)
Female Wrestler of the Year: Cheerleader Melissa (MLW)
And now let's see what wacky things happened during those 6 months.
September
- Daniel Bryan leaves MLW for AWE.
- Vince McMahon leaves VI for golf and hookers.
November
- John Cena leaves AWE for VI.
- Tajiri leaves AWE for Japan.
Cewsh: The moral of this story is that Vice sucks and I hate him, I suck and Mrs. Cewsh hates me, and old people are old.
Mrs. Cewsh
Computer Ranking: 1st
Key Departures: Alberto Del Rio (to AWE)
Month's PPV Grade: A
Month's PPV Grade: A
Month's PPV Main Event: Jack Swagger vs. AJ Styles
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.85
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.85
Champions:
MLW Championship: Jack Swagger
MLW Television: AJ Styles
MLW Tag Team: Terror Rising (Abyss and Roman Reigns)
Cewsh Note: Another surge back to the top, despite losing her year long World Champion in Alberto Del Rio. Interestingly, the match to decide the new champion was between the former TV champion and the man who supplanted him. That's good booking, boys and girls. Gooooood booking.
Vice
VICE Inc.
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Key Departures: Bobby Roode (to AWE)
Month's PPV Grade: C+
Month's PPV Grade: C+
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. Fandango
Month's PPV Buyrate: 4.57
Champions:
VI Global: CM Punk
VI Nationwide: Wade Barrett
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Cewsh Note: So, the entire 6 months we skipped basically revolved around Vice banging our heads together like coconuts and ruling with an iron fist. That is, until this month, where Fandango all but singlehandedly ruined Vice's epic reign of terror and dumped him back down to second place. Poor Fandango, he's basically the kicker who missed the Super Bowl winning kick now. Not coincidentally, he never appears on another VI show for the rest of this game.
Cewsh
Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment
Computer Ranking: 3rd
Key Arrivals: Bobby Roode (from VI), Alberto Del Rio (from MLW)
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. Dolph Ziggler
Month's PPV Buyrate: 2.32
Champions:
AWE World: Jeff Hardy
AWE TV: Kofi Kingston
AWE National Tag: Wrecking Crew (Chris Sabin and Kofi Kingston)
Cewsh Note: Well, well, well, well, well now. Look who is suddenly turning on the jets coming around the final turn. Not only did I snatch up Bobby Roode, but I even stole Mrs. Cewsh's World Champion, (which earned me a serious glare.) It's a good thing that I'm loading up on top talent, because apparently I've been forced to give Kofi Kingston every belt. This is worryingly similar to the situation I found myself in with Rhino last year. Be cool, Kofi. Don't injure Jeff. DON'T.
----------------------------
My Little Wrestling
Champions:
VICE Inc.
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Champions:
Key Departures: Jushin Liger
Champions:
My Little Wrestling
Champions:
Champions:
Key Departures: Chris Jericho
Champions:
February 2013
Mrs. Cewsh
Computer Ranking: 1st
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jack Swagger vs. The Miz
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.91
Month's PPV Buyrate: 0.91
Champions:
MLW Championship: Jack Swagger
MLW Television: AJ Styles
MLW Tag Team: Big E Langston and Cody Rhodes
Cewsh Note: Mrs. Cewsh is basically running episodes of WWE Main Event right now. And she is kicking our asses. This seems royally unfair.
Vice
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Month's PPV Grade: A
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. The Rock III
Month's PPV Buyrate: 5.23
Champions:
VI Global: CM Punk
VI Nationwide: Wade Barrett
VI National Tag: F.E.A.R. (Dean Ambrose and Damien Sandow)
Cewsh Note: Alright, maybe that Rock guy draws.
Cewsh
Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment
Computer Ranking: 3rd
Key Departures: Jushin Liger
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston
Month's PPV Buyrate: 2.43
Champions:
AWE World: Jeff Hardy
AWE TV: Joey Ryan
AWE National Tag: Showtime (Ted Dibiase Jr. and Carlito)
Cewsh Note: When I read that Kofi Kingston wrestled my champion while holding all of my other titles, I flashed back to the Rhino debacles so hard that I needed to go lay down. That the computer would taunt me with EXACTLY the same miserable circumstances that caused me to lose miserably last time makes me so certain in the existence of artificial intelligence that I am typing this on a typewriter made out of a tree branch from my secret bunker under New York right now.
Luckily Jeff Hardy escaped without major injury, ready and eager to continue putting on awful title matches that no one cares about.
Luckily Jeff Hardy escaped without major injury, ready and eager to continue putting on awful title matches that no one cares about.
----------------------------
March 2014
Mrs. Cewsh
Computer Ranking: 1st
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jack Swagger vs. Mr. Anderson
Month's PPV Buyrate: 1.01
Month's PPV Buyrate: 1.01
Champions:
MLW Championship: Jack Swagger
MLW Television: AJ Styles
MLW Tag Team: Big E Langston and Cody Rhodes
Cewsh Note: And Mr. Anderson brings it all back full circle in the final month. I need to point out that across these past 3 month, both Vice and I had been nipping right at Mrs. Cewsh's heels and she had by far the most depleted roster in the game. But somehow, Jack Swagger transformed himself into a guardian angel of awesome and put on three amazing matches in a row as champion. Now I'm not saying that his work in this simulation is the best thing he's ever done, but I'm pretty sure screencaps from it are hanging on his mother's refrigerator right now.
Vice
VICE Inc.
Computer Ranking: 2nd
Month's PPV Grade: A
Month's PPV Main Event: CM Punk vs. The Rock IV
Month's PPV Buyrate: 4.72
Champions:
VI Global: CM Punk
VI Nationwide: Wade Barrett
VI National Tag: Rey Mysterio and Samoa Joe
Cewsh Note: That Rock guy doesn't draw enough.
Cewsh
Awesometastic Wrestling Entertainment
Computer Ranking: 3rd
Key Departures: Chris Jericho
Month's PPV Grade: B+
Month's PPV Main Event: Jeff Hardy vs. Brodus Clay
Month's PPV Buyrate: 2.32
Champions:
AWE World: Jeff Hardy
AWE TV: Brodus Clay
AWE National Tag: Wrecking Crew (Chris Sabin and Kofi Kingston)
Cewsh Note: THE ONLY THING YOU'RE WRECKING IS MY DREAMS YOU JERKS.
----------------------------------------------------
Final Scores:
B+
B
B-
Your Winner And Fantasy Champion AGAIN Is:
--------------------------------
Epilogue
Wondering how the promotions would turn out if we simulated them for another year? Well, in that futuristic hellscape, Vice goes out of business due to his money handling issues, Mrs. Cewsh snaps up all sorts of great talent and proceeds to begin an era of domination unchecked by rules or morality. AWE struggles to survive in this barren new world, stripped of all purpose and hope. The employees of AWE patiently wait out the end of their contracts with a quiet sadness that seeps into their very bones.
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Epilogue 2
Oh hey, I'm winning now! I'm winning! Seriously guys! Wait, you believe me right? Guys? GUYS?!
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