TNA Lockdown 2014

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TNA Lockdown 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the the reviews that draw better than TNA does, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as, after a 6 month absence, TNA makes it's grand return to the Cewsh Reviews stage with TNA Lockdown 2014. Now, you might be aware that Lockdown and Bound For Glory are really the only conventional pay per views left standing on TNA's schedule, and so we will always make it our priority to check in with them for these two shows just to see what is going on. But this time is a little bit different. This time the winds of change are rising in TNA, and the entire promotion may be all but unrecognizable to the casual observer. After all, top stars have left the company, a new champion reigns over all, and the major storyline coming in is an ownership conflict between Dixie Carter and...MVP? Oh yes, and there's more. Which TNA star has adopted an alter ego that I referred to as "one of the top 5 most embarrassing things in TNA's history"? What major Japanese wrestler has shown up to add a little class to these proceedings? And what former TNA star makes his dramatic comeback here tonight, (you'll know when we get there because everything will be in caps)? Well there's only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Elimination Chamber 2014

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To Be Continued »

WWE Royal Rumble 2014

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WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2014

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog that has as many Royal Rumble eliminations as all the other wrestling blogs combined, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we all take a collective deep breath and plunge into a brand new wrestling year with WWE's Royal Rumble 2014. Now you and I both know that, while I can talk about New Japan's Wrestle Kingdom until I'm blue in the fingers, this is where we kick off the festivities for the most important time in the wrestling industry every year. The Royal Rumble. The Road to Wrestlemania. The very idea of it drags casual wrestling fans back to their televisions and sets message boards on fire with new users, and it's hardly any surprise, as things are already started to heat right the hell up. Hell, this show only has four matches on it, and EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM COULD MAIN EVENT A PPV EASILY. The culmination of the dramatic Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt feud, a new chapter in the storied Brock Lesnar vs. Big Show rivalry, and a clash between two of the biggest names of this era for the unified WWE championship, and all of that is just the warm up for the most anticipated match of the year itself, the Rumbly, Rumbly, Rumble. But what am I ding sitting here trying to sell it to you? We've all seen it, and boy howdy if people don't ever have some strong opinions about it. Now it's time to add outs onto the heap.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 8

New Japan Pro Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 8

Welcome cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that use the word "Swag" as a verb, an adjective and an exclamation during sex, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we focus on the most important non-WWE show of 2014, NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 8! Now, if you're a regular Cewshketeer, you've no doubt seen us begging, demanding, cajoling and outright seducing you to buy this show, so that you could share in one of the biggest events of the wrestling year. Some of you did, most of you didn't, but regardless of whether you're reliving the wild night that you saw for yourself, or are looking to find out just what all the fuss is about, we've got you covered. We have a battle to crown the true star of this generation of Japanese wrestling, a battle to decide who their replacement will be, blood feuds dating back to childhood, family wide feuds spanning decades, and a wacky dude and his new demon friend taking on Japan's most ill tempered badass. There's so much going on that we did a whole preview about it already, and if that didn't get you hyped, maybe this will. One of these wrestlers is USED AS THE POLE IN A POLE DANCING ENTRANCE. What the shit are we waiting for?

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The 2013 CRL 100

Welcome, one and all, to the 2013 CRL 100! Tonight we will begin the second ever installment of the aptly titled Cewsh Reviews List 100, as we begin the countdown of the 100 best and most significant wrestlers of the past calender year. This list, which was founded originally in protest of the PWI 500, is the sum of a full year's worth of tireless tape watching and analysis by us here at Cewsh Reviews Headquarters, and we can't wait to show you who we chose for what spot, so you guys can get down to the important business of tearing it to shreds.

The goal here is to spread the word about people who had a great year, while rewarding the people who went above and beyond in the name of our entertainment. And while you might think you know how things will play out if you read our list last year, I assure you, things are VERY different this year. With a almost a third of the members of last year's list falling off of this one altogether to make room for fresh blood, and a radically different looking top 10, this list reflects a turbulent year in wrestling history. But at the end of it all, only one man can stand tall as Mr. 2013.

Will it be Daniel Bryan? John Cena? Hiroshi Tanahashi? Only one way to find out!

To Be Continued »

TNA Bound For Glory 2013

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TNA BOUND FOR GLORY 2013

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that hurt more for your pleasure than an actor doing his 20th nut shot take of the day, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have finally come to the ultimate event in TNA's year, Bound For Glory 2013. Everything that TNA has crafted over the prior 364 days has led inexorably to this place and this moment, where it will all become clear and the path will make sense. The agony of the past 11 months will be undone in a glorious night of untold wonder and genuine merriment. There is no possible way that these ladies and gentleman could produce for us anything less than the very finest that the grappling arts can be. And when the smoke clears and the sad eyed homeless man now calling himself AJ Styles has finally triumphed over the powers of evil after years of anticipation, it will be a magnificent moment. One to tell the grandchildren about no doubt. So let's dig right into this event while I'm still in a state of manic delusion, and see just what TNA has to say for itself after what may be the worst year for any company in the history of professional wrestling.

To Be Continued »

NJPW Destruction 2013

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Destruction 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that own a giant mech robot for crushing our enemies, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, and while I may always say that, I well and truly mean it today. Recently, we asked our readers to tell us what they depended on Cewsh Reviews for coverage of, and the resounding answers were Japanese wrestling and TNA. Since TNA is lucky if they can even run a complete show, we're instead going to focus on Japan, and starting here, we will be covering each and every New Japan iPPV from this point on. The reason why we're focusing on New Japan will be clear to anyone familiar with them, but to those who aren't, New Japan has recently been on an incredible out of control hot streak that has led to them not only resurrecting themselves from obscurity, but has seen them rise to be the second biggest wrestling promotion on the planet. With stars like Hiroshi Tanahashi and Kazuchika Okada, New Japan has set it's sites on becoming a global product, and are eagerly courting American fans, (meaning you.) So it's lucky for you that you have the trusty Cewsh Reviews team there to get you on the ground floor of the biggest wrestling movement since the late 90s. Yes THOSE late 90s.

So let's dig into a show where Okada's title is in jeopardy, where a cocky little crusierweight has become one of the greatest heels in wrestling, and where literally every match has someone awesome in it, just waiting to become your new favorite wrestler.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

WWE Summerslam 2013

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WWE Summerslam 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that prefer Winterslam, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as World Wrestling Entertainment jetsets over to the City of Angels for the latest in their yearly exercise in spectacle, WWE Summerslam 2013. Now you may have heard this in one of two places coming into this show, but there's actually this pretty important match going on tonight that has been built up across every WWE television show, and with the full strength of the WWE promotional vehicle behind it. That match is obviously Natalya vs. Brie Bella, but there are probably some other matches on this card too. Let's take a look. Wait, Bray Wyatt in a RING OF FIRE MATCH?! Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena?! CM Punk vs. Brock Lesnar?! Alright, which one of you turned on the dream booking machine? Because we owe you a lifetime's worth of high fives for this card, which is easily one of the most exciting in recent memory. Will the torch be passed to Daniel Bryan? Will the Best beat the Beast? And will Big E Langston actually win a match and stop making me sad? Join me, and my mad scientist compatriots Artie and Michael, as we learn all this and more.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »

The 2013 Tanahashi Cup

Welcome welcome, boys, girls and hopefully not children of any ages. I'm proud to bring you, for the very first time in Cewsh Reviews history, the Tanahashi Cup! What is the Tanahashi Cup, you ask? Well as you have a working internet connection, you've no doubt run across any number of lists counting down the sexiest female wrestlers and personalities. And that's all fine and dandy, but there are very few things out there that are built to determine the sexiest male wrestler on the planet. And boy, is that ever where we come in. In order to sort out who the hottest man rocking speedos on this planet is we assembled a crack team of two women, two straight men and a bisexual man to argue, debate, disagree and go to war over who rocks it the best. And when the dust settled we crowned the official sexiest male wrestler of 2013.

Only One Man Is Qualified To Do The Tanahashi Name Justice In 2013.

Oh, and why is it called the Tanahashi Cup? Well we named it after the sexiest male wrestler alive, who we had to remove from the competition, lest it make it unfair to everyone else. We believe that fairness will take you everywhere in life. Well, that and a great set of abs.

To Be Continued »

WWE Money in the Bank 2013

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Money in the Bank 2013

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that totally liked Daniel Bryan better when he was called American Dragon for some reason, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we set our sights on what has become the fourth biggest show of the WWE year, WWE Money in the Bank 2013. For the past several years, this show has been a yearly turning point for WWE, with incredible events taking place, and the seeds being planted for storylines months in advance. As such, they have quickly created a show that truly matters in the middle of the dreariest part of the wrestling calender. Tonight is no different, of course, as we have two different Money in the Bank ladder matches, a heated John Cena/Mark Henry match, a whole bunch of undercard goodness, and a pre show match so good that we're forced to review it. With all of this goodness on the table, it's obviously far too much for me to handle on my own, so I'm bringing up a hot prospect from the minors. You may remember him from our NXT Scouting Reports earlier this month, and he enjoys long walks on the beach, death metal and spirited debates about Kamen Rider. His name is Artie. And he is both the hero we need right now AND the hero we deserve. So with my new sidekick by my side, and a night full of intrigue ahead, there's only one thing left to say.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

To Be Continued »