Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of the reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. You don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top of this box. Our table of contents features all of our scores and download recommendations, spoiler free.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

July 21, 2014

Everything You Need To Know About The 2014 NJPW G1 Climax


Welcome, cats and kittens, to a very special primer, designed solely to help ease the transition for new and potential fans of Japanese Wrestling, during our holy week of the year, the G1 Climax Series. You see, every year around this time, the days get hotter, the nights get longer, and the wrestling gets better, as the premier event in Japanese wrestling takes a hold of all of the puro fans in your life and turns them into walking, talking propaganda machines. Last year, you probably heard plenty of people talking all about this G1 Climax thing and going crazy over the matches, but it may have seen inaccessible to you as a newbie to the lariat game. Maybe the sheer volume of matches put you off, maybe it was not knowing who any of these people are. Maybe you're the Green Lantern and you just can't trust anything associated with the color yellow. Whatever it is that has kept you from fully immersing yourself in one of the most storied institutions in all of professional wrestling, your friendly neighborhood Cewsh is here to save the day.

So let's get right into a thorough breakdown of what this is, who you'll see in it, and why you should care. And if, by the end, you still don't want to see the crowning of the new King of Climax, then you'll get all of the money back that you paid in order to read this. Guaranteed.

July 20, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 16 - Fuck You, TNA.

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the ever battling Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts discuss the upcoming WWE Battleground PPV, and make their predictions once again for what they think will happen. For two months straight now, Psycho has dominated the predictions like some kind of psychic wildebeest, but Artie and Cewsh have some wacky ideas up their sleeve to make up some ground. Which of the hosts is calling for the unification of the IC and US titles? Which of the hosts is picking Karl Anderson to win the G1 Climax (because they have clearly sustained head trauma)? They get into all of that, but that's just one small slice of the show, as you'll also hear them discuss why WWE signing KENTA is both awesome for us, and what it could mean for his future, how TNA has fucked over yet another wrestling promotion on it's path to be universally hated, and answer a question that will render Artie speechless for the first time in his entire life.

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

July 18, 2014

Cewsh Scouts NXT 2014

Welcome back to the Cewsh Institute for Careful Observation and Contextual Knowledge. We here at COCK have made it our goal to offer detailed scouting reports on the best in brightest in WWE's development program for the past two years, and with the internet abuzz with rumors of some imminent callups to the big leagues, it seems to be the perfect time to don our lab coats and enter the data mines once again in order to tell you everything you need to know about these talented, (and in some cases not so talented,) men and women before they come crashing through your television set to attack John Cena with a frying pan.

Hey, Man. Frying Pans Are Dangerous.

So what follows here is a detailed breakdown of the most significant figures in NXT currently, by myself, and my comrade in science, Artie. We'll list out their strengths and weaknesses, and assign our grades for each prospective superstar based on how much potential they have, along with a firm statement on whether or not we think they are ready to be called up to the main roster. Make sense? Alright then, let's get out our graphing calculators, try to figure out what these slide rules are for, and get right into the breakdown!

July 14, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 15 - The Battle of Los Angeles

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the ever continuing Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts delve deep into the world of indy wrestling, as they hold a massive discussion about the upcoming PWG Battle of Los Angeles. They discuss each of the 24 contenders in what may be the most incredible, talent filled wrestling tournament of the decade, from AJ Styles, to the newly released Evan Bourne, to Best of the Super Juniors 2014 winner Ricochet, just to name a few. Which of the hosts is is calling Johnny Gargano the best indy talent on the planet today? Who do each of the hosts think can actually win? They get into all of that, but that's just one small slice of the show, as you'll also hear them discuss the dire news of New Japan losing it's iPPV deal and what that means for puro fans going forward, Santino's retirement and the fond memories he inspired, and make an enemy for life out of independent wrestler Trevor Lee.

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

July 8, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 14 - The Great WWE Debates

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the ever astonishing Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts abandon the rest of the wrestling industry to spend the entire fucking podcast talking about WWE. Debates rage on all three sides, as the fallout from Money in the Bank and last week's Raw leave the WWE in a state of flux, leading to some classic arguments. Which of the hosts is not happy at AJ Lee's return? Which hosts throw down against each other over whether or not Cesaro should become Intercontinental Champion? They get into all of that, but that's just one small slice of the show, as you'll also hear them discuss Emma's bizarre firing and rehiring, who their choice is to win the Royal Rumble 6 months from now, and how they found a way to bring up Limp Bizkit in yet another podcast without having to pay Fred Durst any kind of royalties.

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

June 28, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 13 - She Lied, She Cheated, She Stole Our Hearts

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the ever vigilant Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts engage once again in the long term comedy of errors that is the Cewshcast Prediction Contest. They attempt to forecast the total chaos of WWE Money in the Bank 2014, including a Money in the Bank match that is missing some Bad News, and a World Title ladder match that anyone but Sheamus could win. Which of the hosts truly believes in their heart that Dolph Ziggler could win the briefcase? Which of the hosts is calling for the return of Chavo Classic? They get into all of that while trying their best to keep a stiff upper lip following the heroic departure of Vickie Guerrero. But that's just one small slice of the show, as you'll also hear them discuss the pros and cons of TNA's major announcement that they'll be holding Bound For Glory in Tokyo, explain the concept behind upcoming G1 Climax series and why it is the perfect chance to become a fan of New Japan Pro Wrestling, and take time to appreciate the fact that TNA has hired Cewsh's arch nemesis, seemingly just to spite him.

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

June 23, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 12 - LASHLEY! LASHLEY! LASHLEY!

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the ever elegant Cewshcast 5000! This week you intrepid hosts have a bone to pick with each other in regards to WWE Money in the Bank 2014. They debate various possibilities for the show, including whether or not there should be a ladder match for a briefcase, and whether or not the time is right for Roman Reigns to win the WWE World Heavyweight Championship. Which of the hosts is willing to bet his house on a John Cena victory? Which of the hosts will weep bitter tears if he does? But that's just a small slice of the show, as you'll also hear them discuss TAJIRI's big jump the the Great Muta's WRESTLE-1 promotion, the ongoing debate on whether TNA should bring back the 6-sided ring, and this little thing that happened involving someone named Bobby Lashley. One of the hosts seemed pretty happy about it. Plus, there's a special bonus segment for this week as one lucky question submitter is drawn randomly to win some free WWE or New Japan merchandise!

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

June 18, 2014

WWE Payback 2014

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Payback 2014


Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that totally promise to pay you back that $20 we owe you, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as WWE takes a big running jump into the season of Summerslog with WWE Payback 2014! We've officially entered what is traditionally the dreariest season of WWE, ladies and gentlemen, as the long march from Wrestlemania to Summerslam stretches ahead. But unlike most years when this time is used for things like R-Truth main event pushes, this time around we have some real interesting irons in the fire. The People's Champion Daniel Bryan is injured and will have to choose between his title and his wife's career, the old guard of Evolution is being stampeded by the most dominant force in recent memory, and John Cena has been stretched to his limits by a mysterious force bent of stealing his fanbase out from under him. All of it is going to come to a head here on a show that would normally be an afterthought, and by the end of the night, the landscape of World Wrestling Entertainment might look very different indeed.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

June 13, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 11 - NO! NOT DREW! YOU MONSTERS!

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the still employed Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts eschew the regular format of talking about Raw and Impact and the like, and instead dig into the mass releases from WWE this week. All three members of the Cewshcast team go into detail about who they would have kept, the most likely places the talents will show up next, as well as giving their ideas for who might be next on the chopping block, (poor Kofi Kingston.)  Which of the hosts thinks that Jinder Mahal is "a fantastic promo guy"? Which of the hosts goes Corporate and joins the Authority? But that's just a small slice of the show, as you'll also hear them discuss New Japan's recent Best of the Super Junior's Tournament, including what matches you need to see and who emerged as a major new star, whether or not a healthy gay relationship could exist on screen in WWE, and even tell you which comic book character would make for the best wrestling character.

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

June 7, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 10 - My Predictions? Pain.

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the audacious Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts give you the low down on everything that happened in WWE over the past week, and tell you who won the first ever Cewshcast prediction contest, (to no one's surprise, it wasn't Cewsh.) The go into detail about the internet exploding Seth Rollins turn, and about where they'd like to see the Rhodes Brothers story go. Which of the hosts won't be satisfied unless something turns into a Tornado Tag Match? Who is a proud member of the Dibiase Posse? The guys get into all that, as well as continuing their prediction contest by trying to figure out just who the hell is main eventing this weeks TNA Slammiversary. But that's just a small slice of the show, as you'll also hear them discuss the imminent death of All Japan Pro Wrestling, as all the company's talent abandons ship, which WWE wrestler most needs a new finisher, and hotly debate whether the Undertaker vs. Triple H at Wrestlemania 28 was the best match ever, or a pile of worthless garbage.

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

May 31, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 9 - Babyfaces With No Faces

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the imperial Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts kick off a monthly tradition that is sure to go very badly for Cewsh, the monthly PPV prediction contest! And what better way to kick off such a thing that by previewing and predicting the upcoming WWE Payback PPV? Which of the hosts foolishly believes that John Cena will lose a match? Who loves hotshotting titles so much that they might be Vince Russo in disguise? The guys get into all that, as well as discussing whether or not Daniel Bryan should surrender the WWE Championship, and predicting what match will get added to the PPV card at the last minute, (one of them is actually a psychic, I swear.) But that's just a small slice of the show, as you'll also hear them discuss Kevin Steen potential as a WWE star, whether or not Bo Dallas has what it takes to make it on the main roster, and tell you why you should go to every independent wrestling show you can.

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

May 30, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: The CHIKARA Special - Your Guide To The Land of Misfit Toys

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the austere Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts are bringing you a one off special edition of the podcast devoted entirely to that mysterious entity known simply as CHIKARA. Now, if you're like many wrestling fans, you've seen some funny CHIKARA clips on Youtube and have maybe heard about the crazy storylines they have that involve time travel, magical devices and the promotion actually shutting down under suspicious circumstances. Without a doubt, there is a ton to sort through if you want to become a CHIKARA fan, but luckily for you, we're here to save the day! In one hour, Artie, Psycho, and their guest partner DDT will tell you every single thing you need to know to understand what is going on in the company that many consider to be the second most important in the United States, including such gems as why a bandleader is the most important member of the roster, how brainwashing is a very serious problem among ants, and the long and twisty road that led from CHIKARA's abrupt closure last year to their triumphant return this week.

All of that, plus a review of CHIKARA's return show, You Only Live Twice, including a detailed breakdown of what happened after the feed cut off, which might very well be the best wrestling angle of the year, (it may or may not involve Bane. Yes, that Bane.) Don't miss out on this once in a lifetime chance to become a CHIKARA fanboy like the entire Cewsh Reviews staff!

May 23, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 8 - Pat Patterson Is Our Hero

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the 8th episode of the braggadocios Cewshcast 5000! This week, your intrepid hosts venture into the strange waters of reality television to discuss Total Divas and Legend's House. Which one of the hosts is an avid fan of Total Divas? Which of the Legends looked the least embarassing while doing a  Chippendales dance routine? The guys get into all of that, as well as discussing the potential long term impact these shows could have on booking plans, and who they'd love to see join the Legend's House next year, (brother.) But that's just a small slice of the show, as you'll also hear a recap of ROH War of the Worlds, each host pitching their idea for who should be the new WWE champion, and Artie and Cewsh go head to head, Cewshfire style, over who the last great ROH Champion was.

All that, plus your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

May 21, 2014

TNA Sacrifice 2014

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA Sacrifice 2014


Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that still cover TNA shows, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we go return once again to the wrestling mecca that is Orlando, Florida, to watch TNA's latest pay per view effort, TNA Sacrifice 2014! Now, if you haven't been following TNA since our Lockdown and have been thinking to yourself, "Well it's only been two months, how much could have changed?" then you are about to get hit in the face with a brick made of stupefication. Eric Young is the World Champion, MVP is the new owner of the company, Christopher Daniels and Chris Sabin no longer work here, and Samoa Joe, Austin Aries and Kazarian are nowhere to be seen. In their place, we have continuations of those white hot Gunner/Storm and Anderson/Shaw feuds, the return of Kurt Angle, and someone in a fake beard who has a major impact on this show. But, we're getting ahead of ourselves. Kick back, relax, and, as always, just be glad it's us watching it and not you.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

May 17, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 7 - The Fantasy Draft

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the 7th episode of the resplendent Cewshcast 5000! This week, your intrepid hosts tackle the hottest issues in the wrestling world, from Daniel Bryan's neck injury and what that means to WWE's near future, to the debut of TNA's Menagerie and why we actually don't hate it. Along the way we also touch on indy wrestlers who take non wrestling jobs in WWE, our ideas for the debut of Prince Devitt, the difference between Burning Spirit and No Selling and a burning spirited discussion of the classic anime ULTIMATE MUSCLE. But the crown jewel of this episode is the fantasy draft, where Cewsh, Artie and Psycho all choose 5 wrestlers that they would build Global Force Wrestling around, and you will not believe who the hell gets named in these.

So there's all that in store for you over the next hour of your life, as well as your questions answered in another edition of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

May 12, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 6 - Wee Love WeeLC Matches

It's time for Cewshcast 5000 Episode 6! This just so happens to be the one where we talk about the fallout from the crazy Extreme Rules PPV, discuss the major controversy in Japan over AJ Styles winning the IWGP Heavyweight Championship from Okada, and we decide which wrestlers would make the best Power Rangers. We also give our thoughts on this week's Monday Night Raw, Artie gets a microphone that allows you to fully enjoy his silky voice, (he forced me to write that,) and we update you on what's going on on that WWE Main Event program that definitely still exists. Plus, as always, we answer your questions in another installment of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. All that and more lies within. Enjoy!

May 6, 2014

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 5 - Keep Rollin', Rollin', Rollin', Rollin'

It's time for Cewshcast 5000 Episode 5! This just so happens to be the one where we talk about our predictions going into the Extreme Rules PPV, discuss a certain Japanese wrestler whose NAME IS ALL IN CAPS, and I threaten to fire Artie for the fifth time in five episodes. We also give our thoughts on this week's Monday Night Raw, talk about our dream jobs in wrestling, and spend entirely too much time talking about Limp Bizkit. Plus, as always we answer your questions in another installment of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. All that and more lies within. Enjoy!

May 2, 2014

Wrestlemania XXX

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania XXX


Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the only reviews that are so popular that even Triple H is willing to put them over, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we come together once again to cover the crowning moment of the wrestling year, WWE Wrestlemania XXX! Boy, what a year it has been since the last time we did one of these, huh? A new top star has risen from seemingly nowhere to take the wrestling world by storm, the corporation has reformed just in time to fight him and a whole new generation of superstars has grown up right in front of our eyes, from the Shield to Bray Wyatt and beyond. And into this whirlwind of change and renewal steps the gallant warriors of Cewsh Reviews, to lend our thoughts, opinions, freak outs, and assorted neuroses to the story of legend of Wrestlemania. And hoo boy, do we ever have some crazy shit to talk about. With all that in mind, let us roll out the red carpet for you as we assemble once more to tackle one of the most talked about events in wrestling history.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

April 25, 2014

Shimmer Volume 66 Recap Spectacular

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the final installment of our Spring Shimmer wrap ups. Sadly, much like school, it's time to pack it in for Shimmer until Fall rolls around, and we have to get back to reviewing the usual stuff. It's always a bummer to say bye to your friends until the next school year begins, but hot damn, before we get back to real life let's go out with a bang.

Which Is The Sound Kellie Skater's Head Makes In 3...2...1...

Now, if you've been following along, you know that the major story of this weekend is the fall of LuFisto, and her rise back to babyfacedom. Tonight, she completes that voyage, by taking on the woman who talked her into doing bad things, Saraya Knight, and conquers her for good. If that feels like an abrupt end to the storyline, well, it was. But that's not even the main focus of tonight, as Shimmer runs wild again coming off of one of the best shows in company history. This night will have a hinted face turn that could have a huge impact on the roster, a ring announcer's glorious revenge, and the unquestioned best match of the entire weekend.

So while it will be said to say our farewells to Shimmer for the summer, let's see what they'll be using to keep us drooling during the wait.

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 4 - Keep Or Fire?

Alright, it's time for Cewshcast 5000 Episode 4. It's our fourth podcast ever, and it just so happens to be the one where we talk about what WWE superstars we would keep or fire. Artie and Cewsh go down the list of on the bubble WWE wrestlers and detail out whether guys like Zack Ryder, Christian and Damien Sandow should still have roster spots. We also give our thoughts on this week's Monday Night Raw, talk about Christopher Daniels becoming a free agent and tell you the proper way to pronounce Cewsh's name. Plus, as always we answer your questions in another installment of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. All that and more lies within. Enjoy!