Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. Don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

If you are looking for the archive of past episodes of Cewshcast 5000, you can find it here.

June 22, 2015

WWE Wrestlemania 31

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Wrestlemania 31


Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only reviews that think that Wrestlemania is insensitive to maniacs and should be changed to Wrestlefunforthewholefamily, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we roll out that proverbial red carpet, put on our finest evening wear, (tuxedo t shirt worn over a velvet bathrobe,) and get ready to review the most prestigious wrestling event in all the world, WWE Wrestlemania! Now, it's been a long road to the show of shows this year, with about as much controversy leading up to it as I can ever remember seeing before. From Daniel Bryan's terrible injury, shocking return, and subsequent lack of push, to the phoenix like rise of Roman Reigns against the will of many fans, to a Wrestlemania headliner who barely appears on more WWE shows than I do.

It's been a tumultuous Road to Wrestlemania, made even stranger by a build that even Vince McMahon acknowledged was thrown together at the last minute compared to shows in the past. So just what kind of show can we really expect from all this chaos? I don't have the slightest idea, but what I can tell you is that I will not be alone in this review. Now you may be expecting our regular contributors like Artie, Psycho, MichaelC, maybe even the returns of Cewsh Reviews Hall of Famers Vice and Mrs. Cewsh. Those would all be great, but we're going much bigger this year. Oh yes, you see, we listen to our fans. We've seen all your requests for your favorite guest reviewers and we tabulated it up. And so tonight, we're bringing back the three most requested guest reviewers and Cewsh Reviews history!

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

June 1, 2015

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 57 - The ROHman Invasion.

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the podcast that is probably on fleek although we're too afraid to ask, Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts focused on Elimination Chamber and made their usual predictions in a vain attempt to wrest the prediction championship away from Psycho. What host actually called the Dean Ambrose title win before chickening out and saying Rollins? Which host was really, really, really super wrong about absolutely everything? They get into all of that, but that's only one small slice of the show as they'll also break down the huge news of ROH's new tv deal with Destination America and what that means for TNA, the debut of Samoa Joe on NXT and what his utterly unique contract situation could mean for the entire industry, and whether there is any sort of chance for Zack Ryder to make a come back.

All that plus your questions answered on another installment of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

May 30, 2015

Cewsh Reviews TNA's Greatest Moments: Hour 1

Well, boys and girls, it looks like we are, at long last, coming to the end of TNA as a noteworthy thing in our lives. For the entire duration of Cewsh Reviews, TNA has been a through line of joy and anger, laughter and tears. So now, as we stand on the precipice of the void that Dixie Carter has been eagerly dragging TNA towards for the better part of a decade, it's time to look back and remember the good times.

Of course, it wouldn't be enough to just make a big honking list of good things that TNA did, or to reflect solely on their many, many, many, many missteps, (besides, loltna has you covered on that one. Good luck being productive at work after stumbling onto that site.) No, making empty lists and handing out easy platitudes just isn't how we do things here at Cewsh Reviews. Instead, we cracked open our vault of wrestling DVDs and carefully extracted this one from the echoing catacombs beneath CR Headquarters:


This DVD, made in 2010, was created with the sole purpose of documenting the best things that happened in Total Nonstop Action for the first 8 years of it's existence. They even went so far as to put a little stamp on there to let you know that the fans are to blame if you don't like the selections. Keeping in mind that 2002-2010 is really the only period of TNA that is worth remembering, join us over the course of 3 magnificent hours this week as we look back with fondness, regret, and increasing bewilderment at just what this DVD could possibly contain. And once and for all say goodbye to our old friend TNA.

At least until they do something else we can make fun of. We're not made of stone.

May 28, 2015

Cewshcast 5000: Episodes 55 and 56 - WE'RE BACK!

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the podcast that is finally back up to date after a month of leaving you high and dry and making all the girls cry, Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts have brought you not one but TWO podcasts that span last week and the week before to finally catch us up to the present and get us ready for Elimination Chamber and everything else going on in this wild wrestling world. But before we look forward, let's look back as the guys cover everything that has been going on in WWE, with some special gushing saved for the debuts of Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn. What host is seriously proposing an invasion angle? Who actually wants NXT guys to stay in NXT? They get into all of that, but that's only one small slice of these two shows as they'll also break down Global Force Wrestling's roster announcement (including doing a fantasy draft themselves,) the new trainers for WWE, and the glorious confusion caused by NJPW's Wrestling Dontaku.

All that plus your questions answered on another installment of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.


May 22, 2015

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 54 - A Night With Future Julius

(Note: This episode was originally recorded on 5/1/15)

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the podcast that is not afraid to do a weird gimmick episode for no reason, Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts have, in the course of their exploration into the wonders of podcast technology, have accidentally broken open a wormhole into the future! Unfortunately, the only one of us who is still alive at that point is Psycho, who will join us for a weird journey through the topics of today AND tomorrow. What bizarre future lies before John Cena? Who actually wants Daniel Bryan to retire for good? They get into all of that, but that's only one small slice of the show as they'll also break down NJPW Invasion Attack, the disintegration of TNA, and whether or not Fandango has a future in WWE.

All that plus your questions answered on another installment of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.