Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. Don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

If you are looking for the archive of past episodes of Cewshcast 5000, you can find it here.

February 25, 2015

Everything You Need To Know About The 2015 New Japan Cup

Welcome back, cats and kittens, to the blog that should really consider changing its name to "Cewsh Explains". And the reason for that is because once again we're here to offer a primer to get fans both new and old jazzed up and ready for another spectacle from the hottest promotion on the planet Earth, New Japan Pro Wrestling.

If you've followed our coverage of New Japan over the past year, you have already been introduced to both the legendary G1 Climax Series, and to New Japan's premiere event, Wrestle Kingdom. Those are the best known, most beloved, and longest running events on the New Japan calender, and if you saw either one then you may very well already be hooked on the sweet nectar of the lariat tree. But those are simply the two events that receive the most attention worldwide, and they're spaced out by about 6 months, leading a lot of new fans to wonder just what the hell goes on in the time in between. The answer to that, at least during this time of year, is a fairly new concept called the New Japan Cup. And with the information you're about to get from this article, you will be all set and ready to dominate in your office New Japan Cup bracket pool.

Man, Neil Patrick Harris Really Does Host Everything.

People do those right? That's a thing? Well if it wasn't before, it will be now.

February 24, 2015

Defrost Reviews - The TLC Trilogy

Tables, Ladders, and Chairs oh my. In the early part of the last decade saw the last golden period of tag teams in the WWE nee WWF. The Hardys and Edge and Christian put themselves on the map with their famous ladder match at No Mercy 1999. Meanwhile The Dudleys had gotten over putting women through tables. Following the fall of the New Age Outlaws and the ending of many makeshift tag teams ie Rock n Sock and Taker/Show these three teams were on the forefront of the tag division and the midcard of the WWF. Their famous ladder match series is reviewed herein.

Wrestlemania 2000 (Arrowhead Pond)
World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship/Triangle Ladder Match 
WWF World Tag Team Champions Dudley Boyz vs Hardy Boyz vs Christian and Edge 

Summerslam 2000 (RBC Center)
World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship/TLC Match 
WWF World Tag Team Champions Christian and Edge vs Dudley Boyz vs Hardy Boyz 

Wrestlemania X-7 (Astro Dome)
World Wrestling Federation Tag Team Championship/TLC Match 
WWF World Tag Team Champions Dudley Boyz vs Hardy Boyz vs Christian and Edge 

February 20, 2015

Flashback Friday: CRSMUTDC3

We hear you out there. We know you hunger for Cewsh Reviews content like a rabid animal that can only be satiated by dick jokes and gifs, (Dickgifmunk?) Sadly, due to the amount of time it takes to produce the average review, it takes some time between each one. This mega sucks for you, the loyal and patient reader, so we've decided to give you a bit of a treat each week to help out. Each Friday, we'll be bringing back a review from Cewsh Reviews past. Some of them were great shows that we were proud to document, some of them were torturous nightmares that come up frequently in my therapist visits. But all of them are part of the ever expanding tapestry of Cewsh Reviews.

Some of these you may know, other may be pleasant surprises. The important thing is that none of them require you to wait for me to produce them. Enjoy!


YOU Proudly Present...

The Cewsh Reviews Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Card 3

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog on the internet that is interactive in any capacity whatsoever, as long as you don't include all the others, Cewsh Reviews! We have our very most special treat for you tonight, boys and girls, because the biggest night of the reviewing year has finally come. All year long we review shows from all over the world, from all sorts of promotions, and from all different eras, but only ONCE a year do we open up the floodgates and allow you, our dear readers, to decide what we review. If this is your first go round on the Dream Card train, it works like this. Back in June we opened up submissions to anyone who wanted to suggest a match, and let them choose any match ever contested so long as a) we could find it to watch it and b) we'd never reviewed it before. You crazy bastards turned out in droves and submitted matches from all over the spectrum, from fictional matches to absolute classic to random matches you liked on a tv show in 1998. We stuck them all in an Optimus Prime Mr. Potato Head, (Optimash Prime,) and pulled out 8 lucky winners at random and sent them all a DVD prize. Those eight matches are what we'll be reviewing here today, and man, they're all over the spectrum, and truly representative of the randomness that comes out of your collective brains when given free reign to suggest anything. And man, do we ever love you for it.

Though It Wouldn't Kill You To Send In A Bobby Lashley Match For Me, You Know.

But this is our premiere event, our gala spectacle. We can't half ass this. So the original triad of Cewsh Reviews, Cewsh, Vice and Mrs. Cewsh have joined their power rings together and gotten totally swanked out, in order to bring you a review utterly unlike anything you've ever seen before, (unless you read the first two.) So get ready to yell at the submitters for what they chose, and yell at us for what we think, and remember, next year a winner could be you.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

February 17, 2015

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 46 - You're A Big Fine Wrestler, Won't You Back That Ass Up?

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the podcast that promotes love and understanding between all segments of the wrestling fandom except for Justin Credible fans, Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts fall deep into discussion about all kinds of WWE topics, from whether or not the Stardust character will be good for Cody Rhodes' career, to whether Rikishi belongs in the WWE Hall of Fame and more. Who is already pissed about Sheamus' return? What lower card Attitude Era star does Cewsh think might be more deserving than Rikishi? They get into all of that, but that's only one small slice of the show as they'll also discuss the continuing exploits of Roman Reigns and Daniel Bryan, reveal the winner of the Cewshcast Fantasy Showdown and make extremely faulty predictions about NJPW New Beginnings.

All that plus your questions answered on another installment of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

Defrost Reviews - Yuji Nagata and Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Pro Wrestling NOAH

Back once again with another first here at DRS2EBRaSAGG. In our short lifespan we, the royal we, have kept our focus on series of matches that involve the same two guys. Here we take a look at feud spanning an entire promotion. Or you know six guys against two really. So sit back and relax and we’ll see where this experiment takes us.

NOAH 9/12/03 (Tokyo Nippon Budokan)
GHC Heavyweight Championship
GHC Heavyweight Champion/GHC Tag Team Champion Kenta Kobashi vs. Yuji Nagata

NOAH 11/30/03 (Hokkaido Sports Center)
GHC Tag Team Championship
GHC Tag Team Champions GHC Heavyweight Champion Kenta Kobashi and Tamon Honda vs. Yuji Nagata and IWGP U-30 Champion/IWGP Tag Team Champion Hiroshi Tanahashi

NOAH 12/6/03 (Yokohama Bunka Gymnasium)
GHC Tag Team Championship
GHC Tag Team Champions Yuji Nagata and IWGP U-30 Champion/IWGP Tag Team Champion Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Wild II

NOAH 1/10/04 (Tokyo Nippon Budoan)
GHC Tag Team Champions Yuji Nagata and IWGP U-30 Champion Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Mitsuharu Misawa and Yoshinari Ogawa

NOAH Destiny (Tokyo Dome)
GHC Heavyweight Championship
GHC Heavyweight Champion Takeshi Rikio vs. IWGP U-30 Champion/IWGP Tag Team Champion Hiroshi Tanahashi