Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. Don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

If you are looking for the archive of past episodes of Cewshcast 5000, you can find it here.

March 27, 2015

Flashback Friday: The 7 People You Meet As A Wrestling Fan

We hear you out there. We know you hunger for Cewsh Reviews content like a rabid animal that can only be satiated by dick jokes and gifs, (Dickgifmunk?) Sadly, due to the amount of time it takes to produce the average review, it takes some time between each one. This mega sucks for you, the loyal and patient reader, so we've decided to give you a bit of a treat each week to help out. Each Friday, we'll be bringing back a review from Cewsh Reviews past. Some of them were great shows that we were proud to document, some of them were torturous nightmares that come up frequently in my therapist visits. But all of them are part of the ever expanding tapestry of Cewsh Reviews.

Some of these you may know, other may be pleasant surprises. The important thing is that none of them require you to wait for me to produce them. Enjoy!


Afternoon, cats and kittens. Today, for our newest Sunday Supplement, we'll be examining the 7 different kinds of people that every open wrestling fan will encounter at some point in their life. These people may turn out to be relatives, friends, acquaintances, or the doctor who does the surgery to remove the cucumber after you challenge Mike Tyson to a fight in a farmer's market. Whoever they are, when they learn that you are a wrestling fan, (due to your super awesome Tatanka t-shirt no doubt,) it is more than likely that every single one of them will fall into one of these categories. And while up until now you just had to rely on your quick wit and charm to diffuse a potentially awkward situation, the social scientists here at Cewsh Reviews have devised a foolproof method for dealing with each of them.

Cewsh Reviews Research Social Sciences Department

So grab a pen and paper and prepare to take notes, because we're about to show you how to spot these conversational troublemakers quickly and easily. And with any luck, this will help you salvage that awkward conversation with your secretary next year when she asks why you're dressed as the Ultimate Warrior at the office Halloween party.

March 25, 2015

Cewshcast 5000: Episode 49 - The Fall of Bill DeMott

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the podcast that is further behind than the caboose in Snowpiercer, Cewshcast 5000! This week your intrepid hosts welcome back Matthew for his second guest starring stint, and immediately force him to tackle one of the biggest wrestling stories of the year, the firing of Bill DeMott. Who is angry that this wasn't done sooner? Who do the guys think should replace DeMott as head trainer of NXT? They get into all of that, but that's only one small slice of the show as they'll also discuss AXELMANIA, the future of Miz and Mizdow, and whether or not there's anything interesting about ROH's 13th Anniversary show.

All that plus your questions answered on another installment of 3 Aint Enough Man, I Need 5 Questions. Download it on iTunes, listen to it here on Podomatic, or check us out on Stitcher. However you like to listen to dudes sitting around talking about wrestling, have a seat, grab some popcorn and enjoy.

March 23, 2015

WWE Royal Rumble 2015

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Royal Rumble 2015

Welcome cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only blog that shows up less often than your dad to your Little League games, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we hop in the car, adjust the rear view mirror, put some fuzzy dice on the dash, and get ready for the road to Wrestlemania. The official beginning of that grand adventure starts right here, with the first WWE PPV of the year, WWE Royal Rumble 2015. With a spot in the main event of Wrestlemania on the line in both the Rumble match itself, and in one of the most looked forward to triple threat matches in recent memory this show is full of intrigue, potential, and even a little dash of hope. Smarks the world over are scooching closer to the screen to watch it clutching their Daniel Bryan action figures and daring to dream that this could be the day. But with the specter of Roman Reigns looming, and a card that focuses unusually on big stars, that hopeful dream seems a mile away. Can Daniel Bryan overcome the odds to become regain his spot atop WWE? Will a new star emerge amid the whirling chaos of the Rumble? Can anyone on Earth actually defeat Brock Lesnar? Join Cewsh, Artie, Psycho and our Royal Rumble professor MichaelC as we explore the only way to find out.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

Defrost Reviews - The Wrestlemania Play Button Special Pt. 1

Welcome to Part 1 of 2 of the Wrestlemania Play Button Special.

Many a moon ago we undertook the effort to determine the greatest wrestling match of all time. A much different format than the usual reviews you get here. Bullet points with a verdict at the end basically. It is time once again to make such a determination. This year there is much consternation over the main event of Wrestlemania. However, I believe it could be worse. Much worse. So in that spirit it is time to determine the worst main event in Mania history. The criteria is simple. How awful the match is, how awful the build up is, and is there a better option. So for instance even though Hogan vs Andre in the ring was horrific it cannot qualify as the worst main event of all time for obvious reasons.

Wrestlemania VII (LA Sports Arena)
World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Heavyweight Champion Sgt Slaughter(w/Gen. Adnan) vs Hulk Hogan

Wrestlemania VIII (Hoosier Dome)
Hulk Hogan vs Sid Justice(w/Dr Harvey Wippleman)

Wrestlemania 13 (Rosemont Horizon)
World Wrestling Federation Championship
WWF Heavyweight Champion Sycho Sid vs The Undertaker

Wrestlemania 2000 (Arrowhead Pond)
World Wrestling Federation Championship/No DQ Elimination Match
WWF Heavyweight Champion Triple H(w/Stephanie McMahon) vs The Rock(w/Vince McMahon) vs Big Show(w/Shane McMahon) vs Mick Foley(w/Linda McMahon)

Wrestlemania 25 (Reliant Stadium)
WWE Championship
WWE Champion Triple H vs Randy Orton

Wrestlemania XXVII (Georgia Dome)
WWE Championship
WWE Champion The Miz(w/Alex Riley) vs John Cena

March 21, 2015

So You Think You Can Book? - DDT vs. ROH's 13th Anniversary Show

In the debut episode of So You Think You Can Book? we invite Cewshcast and Cewsh Reviews veteran DDT on to be our guinea pig. His mission? Rebook Ring of Honor's 13th Anniversary Show that just took place a few weeks ago. This is the show where Samoa Joe made his grand return to ROH after nearly a decade away and it was meant to serve as a rebirth of sorts for the much maligned indy promotion. DDT has long been known for his ROH skepticism, and now he's getting the chance to see if he can do it better than they did. Did he succeed? That's for you to decide.

How do you decide? Through voting, of course! Underneath the podcast is a poll where you can decide whether DDT or Ring of Honor did a better job of booking this show. Does DDT have a future in wrestling booking? Could ROH do better with literally anyone off the street? Only you, (and everyone else who listens to this podcast,) can decide. 

Who booked it better? free polls

Check under the jump for the original card.