Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. Don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

If you are looking for the archive of past episodes of Cewshcast 5000, you can find it here.

August 28, 2012

The 2012 CRL 100

Tonight I am proud to unveil the debut CRL 100. What is this mysterious conglomeration of numbers and letters, you ask? Well that's very simple. It stands for Cewsh Reviews List 100, and it is the first in a yearly reckoning of the best wrestlers of the past year as determined by, naturally, Cewsh. Wait! I can see you closing this tab and moving on to another one featuring the kind of porn that it would be weird to even talk about. And that's understandable, because when it comes to wrestling related lists, let's be honest. They suck. If they aren't comprised entirely of WWE guys with a token indy guy thrown in, then they're based on criteria so bafflingly vague that it's impossible to figure out why in the hell they ever bothered in the first place. I know, believe me. I've suffered right along with you through lists that keep men and women segregated, and lists that actually have the balls to declare the Miz the best wrestler on Earth in a given year.

But that all ends today.

You see, with my CRL 100, I have painstakingly whittled down every single active wrestler in this industry until I got the 100 most ass kicking, body rocking, shit talking, walk walking sons (and daughters) of bitches walking the Earth today. Some will come from WWE, but others will proudly represent New Japan, All Japan, DDT, Pro Wrestling NOAH, CMLL, AAA, Shimmer, Ring of Honor, CHIKARA, WSU, Anarchy, Dragon Gate and even more than that. Every effort has been made to remove personal bias and nonsensical notions from the making here, and with any luck what I have crafted here is a list you can look to and be proud of, born of research, hard decisions and experience.

And hey, if that fails, lists are great for killing time, right?

August 10, 2012

WWE Monday Night Raw #1,000

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...

WWE Monday Night Raw
1,000th Episode

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the blog that is always incisive and ever divisive, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we have gathered today to review an episode of Monday Night Raw for only the third time in Cewsh Reviews history. But why tonight, you ask? Because it's the 1,000th time the show has come on, and 1,000 is, like, a really big number and stuff. But tonight isn't just about reaching a symmetrical number in the history of WWE programming. It's also being branded as a new beginning for WWE and a night to enjoy the twin spectacles of nostalgia and whatever you would call nostalgia for things that will happen in the future. Possibly Futalgia, though that sounds like a kind of Athlete's Foot.  Joining me on this journey through time, is our very own Professor of Wrestling History and full time Doctor Who enthusiast MichaelC, and our special guest making his return to Cewsh Reviews, Psycho! So you can tell for tonight's special review, we'll be doing it up proper, and although you can't tell, we're all wearing tuxedos and pretty dresses and are gesturing wildly with out top hats and monocles for the show to get on with it already.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

August 1, 2012

TNA Destination X 2012

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA Destination X 2012

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the blog that is responsible for everything having an X in it in the 90s, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we take a fancy little ride down the East Coast to Orlando and once again enter a world full of color, wonder and ire.

And Of Course I Mean The New Sitcom Announcin' Buddies, Starring Jeremy Borash And Mike Tenay.

Of course we could only be talking about Total Nonstop Action, and tonight we review what many are beginning to regard as the centerpiece of their wrestling year, Destination X. Tonight the entire show, (or most of it anyway,) is based entirely around the fabled X-Division, and at the top of the card, arguably the greatest X-Division champion of all time, Austin Aries, will do battle with Bobby Roode to not only become the World Heavyweight Champion, but also to bring the X-Division into manhood at last. But we're getting ahead of ourselves. We've got bitter feuds, a whole host of newbies and a beloved feud from the past to see on our way to the end. So kick your feat up, and start feeling EXTREME, and let's get this show on the road.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!