Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. Don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

If you are looking for the archive of past episodes of Cewshcast 5000, you can find it here.

September 24, 2011

WWE Night Of Champions 2011

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Night of Champions 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the only review blog that is the dream of a dead civilization’s dream about the original dream’s evil monster dad (Tidus had a rough life, man), Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat tonight, as WWE has gone all Goldfinger on us with WWE Night of Champions 2011! Every title in the company is on the line in one way or another, and there are actually feuds revolving around every single one for the first time in recorded history. Will Mark Henry achieve what has eluded him for longer than many of WWE’s fans have been alive? Will John Cena cut short the destiny of Alberto Del Rio? And perhaps most importantly in our main event, what will happen when Triple H puts his position as COO of WWE on the line to face CM Punk? If you can’t smell some shenanigans happening there then you probably think that macaroni and cheese smells like purple, but the question is WHAT shenanigans, and from whom? As always, there’s only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

September 20, 2011

NJPW Dominion 2011

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents…

NJPW Dominion 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to the review blog that is is only notably more muscular than any other review blog (except those assholes at Tyrannosaurus Flex again), Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we finally and officially kick of Panda Puro Party month with NJPW Dominion 2011. Its been a few months since we’ve checked in with the golden lion of New Japan, and in the time since we left, things have been evolving in a most interesting way. Naito is rising through the ranks rapidly and is being heralded as a future star in a manner very reminiscent of a certain ablicious champion of note. Hirooki Goto has lost his mind and decided to murder Hiroshi Tanahashi, Kota Ibushi has made himself a top name in junior heavyweight wrestling, and perhaps most important, Jeff Hardy isn’t here to fuck everything up. Guess which one makes us the happiest? So let’s jump back into the house that Inoki built (and then demolished and then built again and then demolished again and then…) and see the biggest stars in Japanese wrestling do their fucking thing up right.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

September 15, 2011

Defrost Reviews - Mutoh vs. Tanahashi

You're in store for a treat, boys and girls.

A Frosty Treat.

For some time now, whenever we've intruded onto the vast and often overwhelming landscape that is puroresu in our reviews, we have called upon our very own incredible fountain of puro information Defrost to guide us safety through to the safe shores on the other side.  We've always more or less sat back and let him drop knowledge on you with impunity, and its resulted in some of the best reviews we've been a part of in my humble (and right) opinion.  So to officially bang the wine bottle against the boat for this month's Puro Party adventure, we're giving you the good stuff unadulterated, as Defrost does his favorite thing. taking 3 matches and examining how a feud grows and shapes itself through the matches, starting with the feud that culminated in the first Japanese wrestling show we ever reviewed here at Cewsh Reviews, Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Keiji Mutoh (or the Great Muta to you WCW fans).  Its informative, interesting, and you'll be smarter when you're done.  So grab your Trapper Keeper and get ready to take notes.  Its time for your Lesson In Lariats.

September 13, 2011

TNA No Surrender 2011

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents...

TNA No Surrender 2011

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the ever misleading Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we make use of the very most concise and accurate reviewing tool at our disposal and as such provide to you a review with the absolute focus and precision of a laser beam. TNA No Surrender 2011 is the show in question, and I say this with the utmost solemnity and seriousness. It deserves every inch of what we are about to do to it.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

September 10, 2011

The Results of The Cewsh Reviews Arto Contestico!

FINALLY, we have laboriously found a winner to our logo submission contest. We got several submissions ultimately and they ranged everywhere from lazy crap and oddly classy tributes. But after letting Vice have a free hand in choosing the winner, he harshly criticized all of the entries (it was like Simon Cowell nasty) before settling on the only one in the whole bunch that made him laugh when he saw it.

So with no further ado, here is the winner of the very first Cewsh Reviews Arto Contestico, and the winner of a t-shirt with his design on it and a warm Yoohoo through the mail...

September 6, 2011

WWE Summerslam 2011

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…


Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only review blog with more hoes than rakes, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we jump off the diving board and cannon ball our way into the biggest party of the summer with WWE Summerslam 2011. It’s the second (or third, depending on who you ask) biggest show of the year and they’ve done it up nice this year as we continue on down the road of the biggest storyline of the year, with When Cena Met Punk II. We’re walking into this show with two WWE champions and we’re walking out with just one, and the COO himself is going to have his hands all over it as the special guest referee. Does Triple H have less than honorable intentions (like always)? Will CM Punk complete his improbable ascension to the very top of the card? Will John Cena BRABADOO another BRABADOO? These are heavy questions, suitable for only the most experienced and prepared reviewers to handle. Which is why we went out and got the Turnip Queen herself and Ms. Cewsh’s sister to boot, Michelle. What are her qualifications for this all important role? Well she has never watched a complete wrestling match before ever in her entire life and she has only ever heard of John Cena and Rey Mysterio. We’ve all wondered what seeing these events through the eyes of someone completely free of any bias or foreknowledge would be like, and it may very well be more than you bargained for, sports fans. All name misspellings and misunderstandings have been left in to keep the experience as pure as possible.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!