Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. Don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

If you are looking for the archive of past episodes of Cewshcast 5000, you can find it here.

June 30, 2010

The Cewsh Reviews Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Show.

Cewsh Reviews Proudly Presents…


Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the dreamiest, ultraist, technocoloriest reviews in all the land, Cewsh Reviews! Now tonight we have a more than special treat for you as we do something that neither we, nor anyone we’re aware of, has done before. We gave Cewsh Reviews readers just like you the opportunity to submit matches that you wanted to see us review, and we stuck all the matches into Optimus Spud. After a vigorous shaking or two we were left with 8 matches to comprise our dream card review. Then we got our good buddy D1 to compile it all into a big ol’ show for us all to enjoy together.  A show which you can download and enjoy in its entirety for yourself by following the handy download links here, here, and here.

So here you have it. You guys picked the matches, you guys made the card, and now you guys can sit back and watch with us as we take a tour through crazy town. If nothing else, it should be one helluva ride.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

June 28, 2010

Sunday Supplements: The Super Mega Ultra Technicolor Dream Card Drawing!

Welcome, one and all, to the very first drawing for the 1st Annualish Cewsh Reviews Dream Card Supershow Spectacular! 

Unless you're from the future, you're probably confused as to what all of this hooplah is about.  Well it shakes out like this.  A few weeks ago we took several of our readers at our parent site, and gave them the opportunity to nominate matches that they'd like to see us review.  Not entire shows, but instead individual matches from any point in wrestling history, and for any promotion they wished.  We got in tons of submissions, with some of them being more cringe worthy than others (The Wrestlicious Battle Royal Ms. Cewsh?  Really?), and we took all of the submissions and wrote them down on slips of paper.  Then Vice took them and stuck them in his Optimash Prime Mr. Potato Head (in place of a hat).  And tonight he's going to shaket hem up and let the magic spill out of the back of Optimash Prime like...err...magic.  Let's go with that.

At any rate, it's damn exciting already, so let's get  this party started, shall we?  Vice, take it away.

June 20, 2010

WWE Fatal Four Way 2010

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…


Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the captivatingest reviews in all of the kingdom, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight, as we are set to review the only WWE show of the year where you are guaranteed to have a fatal four way match, WWE Fatal Four Way! So, I mean, if that’s what you’re into, this is pretty much the greatest night of your entire life. If you, on the other hand, are mostly ambivalent towards four ways (I prefer foursomes myself, rawr) then this is still at least kind of exciting as WWE starts to rev its engines in preparation for the quickly oncoming Summerslam. Will the NXT rookies make their presence felt on this show? Why are there only like 4 matches on this card? And what on this show made Ms. Cewsh howl with rage? Only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

June 19, 2010

ROH Death Before Dishonor VIII

Ring Of Honor Proudly Presents...


Welcome cats and kittens to yet another installment of the earth shatteringly brilliant Cewsh Reviews. We have a special treat for you tonight, as we batter down the hatches, damn the torpedoes, and set out onto the choppy waters of the Independent Sea again to catalog one of the biggest shows of the year for the little promotion that could, Ring of Honor's Death Before Dishonor VIII. If you've heard of the show, you no doubt have heard about why we're reviewing it, as the main event of this show is none other than a ROH World Heavyweight Championship match between Tyler Black and Davey Richards.

Oh yeah, you heard me. Cewsh Reviews is tackling Tyler Black vs. Davey Richards.

If you don't understand the significance there, we'll explain it better when the time comes, but let's just say that it is the most heralded and critically acclaimed independent match in years, and we'll have our say. But that isn't all we have on tap here. Christopher Daniels is back in ROH, making his way towards the title, we're having a number one contender's gauntlet match, and the blood feud between El Generico and Kevin Steen is finally about ready to blow. And all of that is great and all, but c'mon, lets face. You're here for the A-Double, baby. With cheese.

So without any further ado, let's do a motherfucking review!

June 13, 2010

TNA Slammiversary VIII.

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents…


Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only review blog that turns pink when you enter the Konami Code, Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you all tonight, as we put on our fancy penguin suits and prepare to herald the eight anniversary of Total Nonstop Action. The red carpet has been rolled out, the lights are on bright, and I’m typing this on a golden keyboard with diamond keys. That shit’s fancy. Now over the past eight years, TNA has given us many things. Great matches, memorable rivalries, terrific memories, and all the unintentional humor that we can stuff in a sack. So here, tonight, we’ll take the time to look back on the old days as we march through this years offering. It’s a chance to treasure those memories that we’ll never forget. Like the time that Monty Brown called Samoa Joe a “Hippophant” (half hippo, half elephant) and that time where Rhino had a good match.

But that’s the past, and this year TNA is moving into the future, so we will not neglect the current goings on in the fast paced world of TNA. Will Rob Van Dam be able to withstand Sting’s wrath? Is Mr. Anderson’s loyalty to Jeff Hardy a ploy by the world’s biggest asshole? And what the hell is Dixie Carter’s big announcement all about? All this and partial nudity are right ahead of you. And there’s only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!