Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. Don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

If you are looking for the archive of past episodes of Cewshcast 5000, you can find it here.

May 23, 2010

Dear John Cena

Hello there, boys and girls, and welcome to yet another Sunday Supplement to brighten up your dreary Sunday nights.  We here at Cewsh Reviews are aware that it's the only night of the weekend that you can't drink yourself into a pleasant stupor, and we sympathize, and are here to entertain you throughout your regrettably sober hours.

This week i'm going to tackle a somewhat different strategy with our Supplements, and instead of making a top 10 list or writing a hard hitting article on discrimination in wrestling, i'm instead going to reach out to a member of the wrestling community who I think could well and truly use my help.  Though he has achieved some success thus far, this individual still may have a long road ahead of him, and through this open letter, I can let him know the thoughts of myself and others, and perhaps help him understand how he could change and improve his craft from here forward.  If nothing else, it will help to ease my conscience that I know that I tried.

Dear John Cena,

WWE Over The Limit 2010

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents….


Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the live event attendingest (according to me) review blog in the galaxy, Cewsh Reviews! We’ve got a special treat for you tonight as we rev our engines, throw the gear into drive, and try not to stall out because we never learned how to drive stick and get off on our way to WWE’s Over The Limit 2010! Now I know there’s some controversy because the name of this PPV is very close to the one Owen Hart died at approximately 10 years ago, but we’re going to try not to dwell on that, and if anything, enjoy the show in his honor. And hell, if the show is terrible, we can call it one final practical joke by the King of Ribbers (not rubbers).

But all of the unpleasantness aside, tonight we’re going to see the end of some feuds (Punk/Mysterio, Cena/Batista) and the flowering of some new ones (Edge/Orton, Dibiase/Truth). And along the way, we might even cement some new stars at the top of the food chain (Swagger, Hart Dynasty). So come along with us on the ride, and don’t forget to buckle up. When Vince McMahon is behind the wheel, god knows what is in store.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

May 16, 2010

TNA Sacrifice 2010

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents…

TNA Sacrifice 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the only bunch of manly men (and women) classy enough to wear gowns to the Monster’s Ball, Cewsh Reviews! Tonight we have a special treat for you, as we review the pay per view that is all about Sacrifice. The sacrifices you need to make in order to make it in the wrestling business. The sacrifices you need to make to be the best at your chosen craft. The sacrifices you and your family endure as you strive towards perfection every day of your life. Ultimately, all you can hope for is that once you realize your goals and pass the finish line, all that will matter is the satisfaction of knowing that your sacrifices were worthwhile.

Of course, whether or not sacrificing our brain cells on the alter of TNA’s booking will prove worthwhile remains to be seen. But, as always, there’s only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

May 8, 2010

NJPW Super J Tag Tournament 2010

New Japan Professional Wrestling Proudly Presents...

NJPW Super J Tag Tournament 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens to yet another installment of the ever late, ever magnificent Cewsh Reviews! We have a special treat for you tonight as we head over to visit our friends in the land of the rising sun once again, and review NJPW’s Super J Tag Tournament 2010. A show full of nothing but tag matches between small flippy guys is not exactly what you may expect from a team containing a guy who is a self confessed hater of tag team wrestling and flippy spotfests, but we yearn to please here at Cewsh Reviews and we realized that this sort of wrestling had really been brutally underrepresented by us thus far in our reign of terror, so now with the Super Juniors flourishing in Japan again, the fact of the matter is that enough is enough and it is time for a change. Of course, as you may be aware, Japanese wrestling is not our specialty here at Cewsh Reviews. We have some knowledge of it, and in some areas quite a lot, but when it comes to something like this you’re going to need more firepower than that. It’s like microwaving a potato. Just pressing buttons that seem familiar isn’t going to get the job done.

Luckily for us, on the Cewsh Reviews microwave we just have to hit Defrost.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!