Here there be spoilers.

If you are new or looking to AVOID the spoilers, go here now.

Unfortunately, due to the nature of reviews, there are spoilers inside all the cuts. Don't want them? Turn around, do not pass go, do not collect $200, and click the pretty link at the top.

If you ignore this and read a spoiler anyway, don't come crying to us. We did warn you.

If you are looking for the archive of past episodes of Cewshcast 5000, you can find it here.

February 21, 2010

WWE Elimination Chamber 2010

World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents…

WWE Elimination Chamber 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the incredibly literally named Cewsh Reviews! This week we have a treat for you, as we make our last pit stop (gosh kids, didn’t I ask if you needed to go before we left the house?) on the Road to Wrestlemania, as we review WWE’s Elimination Chamber 2010. This is the last chance for everyone who didn’t win the Royal Rumble (that being everyone who isn’t Edge) to cement their spot in one of the two main events of Wrestlemania. That’s a definite plus. The slight negative may be that they have to get their asses trucked over by a metric ton of steel chains and grating, as they step into the Elimination Chamber to find their destiny.

The Only Way To Wrestlemania Is Through The Steel.

Who will be the champions of Raw and Smackdown when the smoke clears? What will we find out about the future for Wrestlemania? And is there actually anything on this show that doesn’t take place in an Elimination Chamber? As always, there’s only one way to find out.

So without any further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

February 14, 2010

TNA Against All Odds 2010

Total Nonstop Action Proudly Presents…

TNA Against All Odds 2010

Welcome, cats and kittens, to yet another installment of the most accurate and unbiased review blog on all of the internets, and also the best, Cewsh Reviews! Tonight we have a special treat for you as we summon forth our reserves and bring you our second review this week. Normally we can hardly be convinced to put up one review a week, but this week we’re operating on previously untapped reserves (black tar heroin) andwith Cewsh, Ms. Cewsh and Vice all together to tackle the show for the first time in ages, we have all the energy we need to tackle TNA’s Against All Odds pay per view.

Now this show is rather interesting, as it is essentially comprised of one tag match, a World title match, and the rest is the conclusion of the Eight Card Stud tournament, to determine the number one contender to the TNA World Heavyweight Championship at Lockdown in April. What will we think of this King of the Ring like tournament and the unusual format for TNA? Will TNA be able to pull off a successful show built around mostly midcarders? Will The Nasty Boys be so bad in the ring that we will research ways to travel back in time to stop it from annihilating the human race? Naturally, there’s only one way to find out.

So with no further ado, let’s do a motherfucking review!

Ms. Cewsh's Valentine's Day Art Gallery

Mrs. Cewsh: It's Valentine's Day, darlings! Inspired by the valentines on, and how god fucking awful they are, I was going to offer you some valentines to take home to your special someone.
And then I spent an hour going through the WWE tag on DeviantArt. Now you're getting a rant. Just get your girlfriend/wife/mother some grocery store flowers and Easter candy. Put in vase/on platter. She won't know the difference and you'll save like $30 bucks.

First, I'd like to say there are some very talented artists on DA. There are some less talented ones, too. I'm not mocking artistic skill, (much,) because my own talents lie elsewhere. HOWEVER. When you use someone else's characters and make them unrecognizable, you are a bad person and a worse "artist".

February 6, 2010

The Top 5 Weddings In Wrestling History

Welcome, cats, kittens and other assorted members of the Zoo, and welcome to the first Sunday Supplement of the new year. Now you may be wondering about the gap in time between this one and the last one. Laziness, mostly, is the answer, but also a factor is the fast paced planning of the wedding of me, Sir Cewsh of Cewshshire, to her loveliness, the Lady Ms. Cewsh of the neighboring Cewshinwillows. Now much goes into any wedding, and ours is no different, and since it is weddings that have cost you our excellent presence, it's weddings that I'll offer up to dig us out of the hole.

There have been a ton of weddings in the history of professional wrestling. Some of them were serious and romantic, some of them were ridiculous and comical, and some of them were just downright odd. Here today, we'll celebrate all of the above, and name the definitive list of Cewsh Reviews' Top 5 Weddings of All Time.