World Wrestling Entertainment Proudly Presents...
Welcome to yet another edition of Cewsh Reviews…; boy do we have a treat for you tonight. Not only have we reviewed the WWE Royal Rumble 2009, arguably the second most important show of the year in professional wrestling, but we’ve also turned this sexy party into a down and dirty three way. That’s right, back from her long hiatus to lend this lowly manuscript some class, is the ever delicious Ms. Cewsh. Don’t worry your little heads, boys and girls, we’ve still got the good ol’ Cewsh/Vice action that you’ve come to know and love. Is this intro getting anyone else hot? No? Right! Me either!
Now, before we get on with tonight’s festivities, allow me to first take a moment to explain how the Royal Rumble works, just in case anyone reading this has never seen one. I can’t imagine whom that could possibly include, but humor me. We try to be thorough here. The Royal Rumble match is a 30 man, Over-The-Top-Rope, Battle Royal. The idea is to eliminate the other wrestlers by throwing them over the top rope, causing their feet to hit the floor. 30 men will eventually enter, two starting, and a new man entering every 90 seconds. The last man left in the ring gets an automatic shot at the Heavyweight Championship of his choosing in the main event of Wrestlemania. Everyone clear? Alright, good. Also, understand that these matches take an hour, sometimes more, so there aren’t going to be a lot of matches on this card. Just roll with it.
As always, we go into this review with nothing (intentionally) spoiled for us. We don’t read the spoilers, the news, and for the most part, the Rajah threads leading up to the PPVs.
On with the show!